Seasonal Cutbacks Kids Card

£2.25

"Sorry kids the figures just aren't stacking up, we're going to have to make a couple of you redundant."

Family Tree Card

£2.25

"I've been doing the family tree and it turns out none of us are related.""Can we all go home then?"

Christmas Jumper Card

£2.25

"what d'you reckon?""yeah I like it.""It's not too tight around the arms is it?"

Good Christmas Card

£2.25

''good christmas?''''yeah, just sat in front of the telly eating crisps all day''

Cutbacks Lights Card

£2.25

''I've had to cut back a bit this year, normally I turn them on in September''

Christmas Centrepiece Card

£2.25

''everyone ok with me wearing my new Christmas underwear?''

Santa Website Card

£2.25

''look at this website showing a satellite image of where santa is currently delivering presents''''obviously fucking bullshit''

Christmas Game Card

£2.25

''one word...''''bollocks''

Christmas Armistice Card

£2.25

"It's from your sister, she wants to know if we'd be up for a Christmas present armistice?""Yeah send her one back, see if she's up for skipping the meal as well"

Seasonal Pervert Card

£2.25

"Merry Christmas mate, here's a video of me trying on all your wife's new underwear"

Not Taking Your Coat Off Card

£2.25

"Not taking your coat off Dave?""He only agreed to come because he thought you'd have the heating on"

Santa Skiing Holiday Card

£2.25

"Congratulations you've got the job""Cheers, I need a couple of weeks off in December, I've got a skiing holiday booked"

SAD Robin Card

£2.25

"that robin's in the garden again""have you tried throwing something at it?"

Awkward Cunt Christmas Card

£2.25

"hello, and what would you like for Christmas?""I dunno, you fucking work it out."

Bus Replacement Card

£2.25

"this is the most up to date set, it comes with a replacement bus service"

Christmas Dinner Card

£2.25

"this is nice all sitting down for Christmas dinner""not if you talk all through this film, which I might add is shit"

New Year Emoji Card

£2.25

New Year Emoji Card "In case my Happy New Year text doesn't get through later on, I thought I'd just say Happy New Year, thumbs up" "cheers, same to you but with an added champagne bottle and party popper emoji thing yeah?"

Recycled Tree Card

£2.25

Recycled Tree Card "No Christmas tree this year?"  "Steve likes to wait until Boxing Day so we can get one out of the recycling area"

Tree Stylist Card

£2.25

Tree Stylist Card "I'm really not sure about it" "Hi, yeah I need a number for a 24 hour tree stylist"

Christmas List Card

£2.25

Christmas List Card "would you like me to get you a calendar this year?" "no I'm ok with this system thanks"

Seasonal Bollocks Card

£2.25

Seasonal Bollocks Card Seasonal Bollocks to You

Multi-tasking Card

£2.25

"What are you like at multi-tasking? "Pretty good. I often read the paper while I'm having a shit."

Festive Grid Drain Card

£2.25

"would you mind turning it down a bit, it's affecting my wife's dialysis machine." "perhaps you'd like to explain that to my little kiddie."

Festive Footprint Card

£2.25

Festive Footprint Christmas Card "are these trees from an organically sustainable source?" "why what you going to do, fucking eat it or something?"