Generation Arsehole GCSE Card


"I normally home tutor for maths GCSE" "we just want you to train home not to piss all round the toilet seat"

Company Calendar Card


"what's all these photos of you naked?" "just letting you know what I've got if you need to do a company calendar"

Bullshitters Refreshers Card


"I see you took yesterday off for a 'bullshitter's refresher course" "yeah here's my expenses"

Hacked Bank Account Card


"what makes you think your account has been hacked?" "'cos there's some money in it?"

Work Retox Clinic Card


"I can't come back to work this week, I've had to book myself in the retox clinic"

Sign Don't Turn Up Card


"Do you do a 'Sign Up, Don't Turn Up' Package?"

Monday Morning Wine Card


"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"

Customer Services Piss Myself Card


"this drink I bought off you, made me piss myself"

Work Team Player Card


"hi sorry I'm late, I couldn't be fucked to get here any quicker"

Health Monitor Card


"how you getting on with your health monitor wristband?" "yeah, I've found I'm getting much better results since I stuck it on the dog"

Work Impressive Reference Card


"very impressive reference" "cheers, I wrote that"

Work Robot Card


"I'm worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects" "Don't panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn't want it"

Segway Bat Card


HAPPY BIRTHDAY Taken from the Mindless Violence Colouring Book

Weekend Dog Cheese Card


The opening of the fridge door alerts the dog to the presence of cheese.

Classic Toss Card Bundle


9 classic Modern Toss cards for £6.5. That's just over 70p a card! This bundle includes: Play to Win Card Twitter Symptoms Card Invisible Arseholes Card Smoking Aerobics Card Space Argument Card Customer Services Book Card Bodywork You/Me Card Last Orders Card Smells Like Money Card When they're gone, they're gone!

Work Card Bundle


Cards from our best selling collection as a bundle, at more than half price! Here are the Work cards included: Work Bi-Lingual Card Lap Dancing Card Webcam Card Narcissist Boss Card Work Bored Card Pencil Twitter Card 6 Months Off Card When they're gone, they're gone!

Mr. Tourette Card Bundle


All 8 Mr Tourette cards for £7.50! This is what's included: Shit Butler Card Commuter Mood Card Shithole Business Card Cash Rapists Card Sex Tourists Card Whore Card What Are You? Card Horse Fucking Service Card When they're gone, they're gone.

Cheese & Wine Card Bundle


The full set of Cheese & Wine cards for £4. Bargain! Here's what's included: Gerry Hug Card Real Ale Card Interest Rates Card When they're gone, they're gone!

Working Day Lie Down Card


Working Day too much? Have a drink and a lie down.

Working Day Meeting Card


Morning catch up meeting, I'll listen in for a bit - once I know what they're talking about I'll try and say something.

Jetty Zen Kick Card


Beautiful surroundings and chilled out zen vibe for this Birthday message.

Cup Cake Mallet Card


Cup cake stalls are not everyone's cup of tea. Fair enough.


Working Day Clear My Mind Card

£2.25 £1.00

As you get nearer to your place of work do you totally clear your mind until there's fuck all in it?

Working Day Train Twitter Card


I follow the train operator on Twitter and am able to directly call them arseholes when my service is disrupted.