Generation Arsehole GCSE Card

£2.25

"I normally home tutor for maths GCSE" "we just want you to train home not to piss all round the toilet seat"

Company Calendar Card

£2.25

"what's all these photos of you naked?" "just letting you know what I've got if you need to do a company calendar"

Bullshitters Refreshers Card

£2.25

"I see you took yesterday off for a 'bullshitter's refresher course" "yeah here's my expenses"

Hacked Bank Account Card

£2.25

"what makes you think your account has been hacked?" "'cos there's some money in it?"

Work Retox Clinic Card

£2.25

"I can't come back to work this week, I've had to book myself in the retox clinic"

Sign Don't Turn Up Card

£2.25

"Do you do a 'Sign Up, Don't Turn Up' Package?"

Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.25

"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"

Customer Services Piss Myself Card

£2.25

"this drink I bought off you, made me piss myself"

Work Team Player Card

£2.25

"hi sorry I'm late, I couldn't be fucked to get here any quicker"

Health Monitor Card

£2.25

"how you getting on with your health monitor wristband?" "yeah, I've found I'm getting much better results since I stuck it on the dog"

Work Impressive Reference Card

£2.25

"very impressive reference" "cheers, I wrote that"

Work Robot Card

£2.25

"I'm worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects" "Don't panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn't want it"

Segway Bat Card

£2.25

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Taken from the Mindless Violence Colouring Book

Weekend Dog Cheese Card

£2.25

The opening of the fridge door alerts the dog to the presence of cheese.

Classic Toss Card Bundle

£6.50

9 classic Modern Toss cards for £6.5. That's just over 70p a card! This bundle includes: Play to Win Card Twitter Symptoms Card Invisible Arseholes Card Smoking Aerobics Card Space Argument Card Customer Services Book Card Bodywork You/Me Card Last Orders Card Smells Like Money Card When they're gone, they're gone!

Work Card Bundle

£6.00

Cards from our best selling collection as a bundle, at more than half price! Here are the Work cards included: Work Bi-Lingual Card Lap Dancing Card Webcam Card Narcissist Boss Card Work Bored Card Pencil Twitter Card 6 Months Off Card When they're gone, they're gone!

Mr. Tourette Card Bundle

£7.50

All 8 Mr Tourette cards for £7.50! This is what's included: Shit Butler Card Commuter Mood Card Shithole Business Card Cash Rapists Card Sex Tourists Card Whore Card What Are You? Card Horse Fucking Service Card When they're gone, they're gone.

Cheese & Wine Card Bundle

£4.00

The full set of Cheese & Wine cards for £4. Bargain! Here's what's included: Gerry Hug Card Real Ale Card Interest Rates Card When they're gone, they're gone!

Working Day Lie Down Card

£2.25

Working Day too much? Have a drink and a lie down.

Working Day Meeting Card

£2.25

Morning catch up meeting, I'll listen in for a bit - once I know what they're talking about I'll try and say something.

Jetty Zen Kick Card

£2.25

Beautiful surroundings and chilled out zen vibe for this Birthday message.

Cup Cake Mallet Card

£2.25

Cup cake stalls are not everyone's cup of tea. Fair enough.

Sale!

Working Day Clear My Mind Card

£2.25 £1.00

As you get nearer to your place of work do you totally clear your mind until there's fuck all in it?

Working Day Train Twitter Card

£2.25

I follow the train operator on Twitter and am able to directly call them arseholes when my service is disrupted.

Weekend Too Early Card

£2.25

Is it still slightly too early for a drink?

Working Day Jacket Card

£2.25

Before lunch I leave my jacket on my chair, so if I decide not to come back people think I'm still around somewhere.

Weekend TV Controls Card

£2.25

Too fucked to get the TV controls? So you're just going to have to sit through this Sunday night costume drama then! Also works with Poldark.

Working Day Walk Around Card

£2.25

I look permanently busy if I walk around holding a pen and a bit of paper.

Weekend National Trust Walk Card

£2.25

I am on a recommended National Trust public walk, I see someone has hung a bag of dog shit from a tree.

Sale!

Weekend Parents on Landline Card

£2.25 £1.00

One of our parents is trying to call us on the landline. Anyone going to answer?

Honest Relationship Card

£2.25

"does my stomach look big in this?" "yeah"

Pro Gamer Card

£2.25

"I went outside earlier in the week, it's like you literally have no control over anything?"

Last Orders Card

£2.25

"As you can see they've retained a few original features, like Pete who used to drink here when it was a pub" "Where's the crisps?"

Awkward Cunt Pastries Card

£2.25

"do you want any cakes or pastries with that?" "if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them"

Work Amazing Figures Card

£2.25

"these end of year figures are amazing" "yeah cheers, I fiddled around with them 'til they were bigger than last year's"

Pensions Accumulator Card

£2.25

"We don't currently have a pension scheme, but you're welcome to join in the office 7 horse accumulator" "I don't want to rush you but the first race is at 2.45"  

Bollocks To This Card

£2.25

"it's definitely Peter, I recognise the handwriting"

High Street Coffee Card

£2.25

''Excuse me, is there anywhere round here I can't get a coffee?"

Milestone Birthday Card

£2.25

"do you want to do anything for your milestone birthday coming up?" "no I fucking don't"

Chill Out Yeah Card

£2.25

"how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start"

New Arrival Card

£2.25

''helloooo" "isn't it beautiful" "where's my fucking presents?"

Work Biscuits Card

£2.25

"right Steve, come on what are you bringing to the table?" "I brought the biscuits?"

Invisible Arsehole Card

£2.25

"Your glass of red wine sir" "I'm over here you cunt"

Bodywork Losing Weight Card

£2.25

"I've lost quite a bit of weight worrying about not going to the gym"

Awkward Cunt Card

£2.25

"can I help you sir?" "I don't fucking know, you tell me"

Stick It Up Your Arse Card

£2.25

"in an ideal world I'd tell you to stick this job up your arse"

Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Card

£2.25

"hello my name's Peter and I'm a fucking arsehole"

Work Dress Code Card

£2.25

"We don't have a dress code as such, but I would appreciate it if you could tone it down a bit"