Back In The Day Card

£2.50

"See that field with the animal in it, I was fully off me nut right by that sheep trough back in '89"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

'Avin it Card

£2.50

"Mum, grandad's talking about acid house again"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Weekend Pillhead Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards...  Weekend Pillhead Card "Any hobbies?" "Reading, gardening and I'm also a massive weekend pillhead?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Amphetamines Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards...  Amphetamines Card "So in a nutshell you want to do 12 months work in January and then go home for the rest of the year" "Yeah I'm going to be using a fuck load of Amphetamines so I don't anticipate my problems with it"   You can send this card direct to...

Drive By Cappucino Card

£2.50

Drive-By Cappucino Card Introducing our new Drive By Abuser card collection... "Think you're fucking it don't you?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Social Pisstancing Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest lockdown edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Social Pisstancing' "yard of ale and a two metre flute of cider please mate"  Desperate Business cartoon from Private Eye. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Cheese & Wine Not Interested Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Cheese & Wine Not Interested Card "Have you heard about Peter's new car?" "No have you read my sign?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Museum of Rave Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Museum of Rave Card "You got a chill out room? Me dad's having a massive flashback"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Smug Goblet Card

£2.50

Tossary of Terms card range - Smug Goblet Card From the Tossary of Terms book which identifies and defines new words and phrases with a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.    You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below...

Pissed As A Cunt Card

£2.50

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Pissed As A Cunt Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card.    You can send this card direct to your mates or...

Awkward Cunt Drink Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Awkward Cunt Drink Card "can I get you a drink sir?" "I dunno, can you?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Ed Sheeran Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Ed Sheeran Card "Alexa, play Ed Sheeran" "do I have to?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.   

Sale!

Smoking Aerobics Card

£2.50 £1.25

At the gym. "That high intensity speed aerobics class you're advertising, is it smoking or non-smoking?"

Weekend Dog Cheese Card

£2.50

The opening of the fridge door alerts the dog to the presence of cheese.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Work Retox Clinic Card

£2.50

"I can't come back to work this week, I've had to book myself in the retox clinic"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.50

"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Customer Services Piss Myself Card

£2.50

"this drink I bought off you, made me piss myself"

Minding My Business Card

£2.50

"What are you up to at the moment?" "Minding my own fucking business"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

For a Special Lady Card

£2.50

Because the lady loves... fags and wine in bed.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.   

Beer In Bed Card

£2.50

"On Your Special Day" Celebrate someone's birthday by bringing them a beer in bed. And this Stroller card. Sorted.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Awkward Cunt Pastries Card

£2.50

"do you want any cakes or pastries with that?" "if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Water Cooler Card

£2.50

"Good weekend?" "Yeah I'm still off my fucking tits." Monday morning work conversations all around the world typified in this Modern Toss card.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Interest Rates Card

£2.50

"So, what do you think will happen to the interest rate?" "I couldn't give a flying fuck"  

Real Ale Card

£2.50

"have you tried this real ale from Stephen's micro brewery?" "smells like someone scooped it out of a ditch"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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