New Year Emoji Card

£2.50

New Year Emoji Card "In case my Happy New Year text doesn't get through later on, I thought I'd just say Happy New Year, thumbs up" "cheers, same to you but with an added champagne bottle and party popper emoji thing yeah?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox...

Do What You Want Card

£2.50

"It's Your Special Day - Do What You Fucking Want With it Yeah" A Stroller greetings card that captures the true spirit of celebration days: watching TV and doing fuck-all.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Carol Singer Card

£2.50

Carol Singer Card "I sang a carol earlier when you were out so I just popped back to pick up me cash"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Card Pack Card

£2.50

Card Pack Card "didn't you give us this card last year?" "yeah I bought a pack of 20"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Baseball Bat Card

£2.50

Seasonal Mood Card Get the bat ready.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Festive Footprint Card

£2.50

Festive Footprint Christmas Card "are these trees from an organically sustainable source?" "why what you going to do, fucking eat it or something?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Hacked Bank Account Card

£2.50

"what makes you think your account has been hacked?" "'cos there's some money in it?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Moody Cunt Christmas Card

£2.50

'Happy Christmas You Moody Cunt'   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Seasonal Cutbacks Kids Card

£2.50

"Sorry kids the figures just aren't stacking up, we're going to have to make a couple of you redundant."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Health Monitor Card

£2.50

"how you getting on with your health monitor wristband?" "yeah, I've found I'm getting much better results since I stuck it on the dog"

Tree Stylist Card

£2.50

Tree Stylist Card "I'm really not sure about it" "Hi, yeah I need a number for a 24 hour tree stylist"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sale!

Working Day Clear My Mind Card

£2.25 £1.00

As you get nearer to your place of work do you totally clear your mind until there's fuck all in it?

Early Retirement Card

£2.50

"I'm thinking of taking early retirement" "how early?" "about 2.30"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Turkey Saw Up Card

£2.50

Turkey Saw Up Card May the spirit of Christmas fill your home.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sale!

What Are You? Card

£2.25 £1.00

"What are you, some sort of cunt?" (T'es qui toi, une sorte de con?)

Borrow 20 Quid Card

£2.50

"Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?" "How about I just keep the 20 quid?" "That works for me, happy birthday yeah!"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Stroller Postcard Set

£9.99

Stroller Postcard Set Ever thought about sending your boss a postcard featuring him being serviced from behind by a cart horse? Well you can now, thanks to this surreal and highly collectable Stroller postcard set. Stick ‘em on your wall or reach out and touch a friend with this selection of beautifully-crafted designs celebrating some totally unique and magic moments....

Festive Grid Drain Card

£2.50

"would you mind turning it down a bit, it's affecting my wife's dialysis machine." "perhaps you'd like to explain that to my little kiddie."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Motoring Speeding Card

£2.50

"I'm arresting you for speeding." "sorry mate me eyesight's fucked, I thought that sign said 'drive like a cunt"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Spa Voucher Card

£2.50

Spa Voucher Card "Someone bought me a spa treatment voucher for Christmas, can I spend it in your snack machine?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Work Amazing Figures Card

£2.50

"these end of year figures are amazing" "yeah cheers, I fiddled around with them 'til they were bigger than last year's"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Cup Cake Mallet Card

£2.50

Cup cake stalls are not everyone's cup of tea. Fair enough.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Weekend National Trust Walk Card

£2.50

I am on a recommended National Trust public walk, I see someone has hung a bag of dog shit from a tree.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Swear Tree Card

£2.50

A Partridge in a Swear Tree Christmas Card Includes a word-search for the kids.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Seasonal Zoom Call Card

£2.50

"who the fuck are this lot?" "hello Grandad"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Appraisal Cunts Upstairs Card

£2.50

"we would like to point out to you that it's highly unprofessional to refer to us as 'the cunts upstairs' when sending out emails to our client database" "Fair enough, rules are rules"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it...

Awkward Cunt Pastries Card

£2.50

"do you want any cakes or pastries with that?" "if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Wine Box Card

£2.50

"when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

New Arrival Card

£2.50

''helloooo" "isn't it beautiful" "where's my fucking presents?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Bullshitters Refreshers Card

£2.50

"I see you took yesterday off for a 'bullshitter's refresher course" "yeah here's my expenses"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Seasonal Yesteryear Card

£2.50

"Hold these while I have a piss over that drain."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Data Analyst Card

£2.50

"this spreadsheet of yours doesn't appear to make any sense" "yeah it's bollocks innit"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Work Biscuits Card

£2.50

"right Steve, come on what are you bringing to the table?" "I brought the biscuits?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Recipe Book Card

£2.50

"oh thanks a TV chef recipe book." "yeah sorry I couldn't think what the fuck to get you."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Customer Services Piss Myself Card

£2.50

"this drink I bought off you, made me piss myself"

Cheese & Wine Pills Card

£2.50

"I see you've got a Christmas card." "yes it's from the company who supply my hard on pills."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Punctuation Can't be Fucked Card

£2.50

"People used to use me to partially obscure swearwords, but it seems like they can't be fucked anymore" "luck of the draw mate, I was long term unemployed until some bloke invented email"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it...

Generation Arsehole GCSE Card

£2.50

"I normally home tutor for maths GCSE" "we just want you to train home not to piss all round the toilet seat"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Work Impressive Reference Card

£2.50

"very impressive reference" "cheers, I wrote that"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Card

£2.50

"hello my name's Peter and I'm a fucking arsehole"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Punctuation What Do You Do Card

£2.50

"And what do you do?" "Traditionally, I indicate an elaboration of something that were just before me, but since texting came along I've been doing a lot of work with the old end bracket here" "Yeah we've been run off our feet lately, people can't leave us alone"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family...

Wedding Facebook Status Card

£2.50

"Do you take this man" "Hang on mate, I'm just updating me relationship status" That moment when modern technology makes you want to give up and live in a cave.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Sign Up Don't Turn Up Card

£2.50

"Do you do a 'Sign Up, Don't Turn Up' Package?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Company Calendar Card

£2.50

"what's all these photos of you naked?" "just letting you know what I've got if you need to do a company calendar"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Work at the Weekend Card

£2.50

"Can you come in at the weekend?" "̏'ll come in but I'm not fucking doing anything"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Santa Foot Lock Card

£2.50

Santa Foot Lock Card The spirit of Christmas.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sale!

Smoking Aerobics Card

£2.25 £1.00

"That high intensity speed aerobics class you're advertising, is it smoking or non-smoking?"

Line Manager Card

£2.50

"how are you getting on with your new line manager? "he's a fucking cunt" Got a new boss? Why not buy them a card to welcome them to their new position?   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. ...

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