Milestone Birthday Card

£2.25

"do you want to do anything for your milestone birthday coming up?" "no I fucking don't"

Segway Bat Card

£2.25

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Taken from the Mindless Violence Colouring Book

Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.25

"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"

Birthday Day Off Card

£2.25

"I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday" "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday" An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves.  

For a Special Lady Card

£2.25

Because the lady loves... fags and wine in bed.  

Ed Sheeran Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Ed Sheeran Card "Alexa, play Ed Sheeran" "do I have to?"  

Getting Home Early Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Getting Home Early Card "ok what does success look like to everyone?" "getting home early?"

Beer In Bed Card

£2.25

"On Your Special Day" Celebrate someone's birthday by bringing them a beer in bed. And this Stroller card. Sorted.

Boring Meeting Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Boring Meeting Card "ok if I look at my phone for a bit, this meeting's boring the fuck out of me"

Chill Out Yeah Card

£2.25

"how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start"

Birthday Present Card

£2.25

"didn't I give this to you for Christmas?" "yeah I didn't like it, happy birthday"

Sale!

Play To Win Card

£2.25 £1.00

"You Play To Win" A Stroller card for the discerning sportsman.

Work Robot Card

£2.25

"I'm worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects" "Don't panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn't want it"

Brow Bar Card

£2.25

"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.

Sale!

Weekend Parents on Landline Card

£2.25 £1.00

One of our parents is trying to call us on the landline. Anyone going to answer?

Jetty Zen Kick Card

£2.25

Beautiful surroundings and chilled out zen vibe for this Birthday message.

Pantathlon Card

£2.25

Tossary of Terms card range - Pantathlon Card The Tossary of Terms identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. 

Kiplings Smog Card

£2.25

Tossary of Terms card range - Kiplings Smog Card The Tossary of Terms identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. 

Bloody Fucking Hell Card

£2.25

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Bloody Fucking Hell Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. Combine that with the bold, punchy swearing element plastered on the front...

Fucking Old Bastard Card

£2.25

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Fucking Old Bastard Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. Combine that with the bold, punchy swearing element plastered on the...

Face Like A Wanker Card

£2.25

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Face Like A Wanker Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. Combine that with the bold, punchy swearing element plastered on the front...

Back Sack Twat Card

£2.25

Tossary of Terms card range - Back Sack Twat Card The Tossary of Terms identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. 

Smug Goblet Card

£2.25

Tossary of Terms card range - Smug Goblet Card The Tossary of Terms identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. 

Buggering Old Twat Card

£2.25

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Buggering Old Twat Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. Combine that with the bold, punchy swearing element plastered on the front...

Working Day Lie Down Card

£2.25

Working Day too much? Have a drink and a lie down.

Work Team Player Card

£2.25

"hi sorry I'm late, I couldn't be fucked to get here any quicker"

Moody Cunt Card

£2.25

"Happy Birthday You Moody Cunt" Send many happy returns of the day to the moody cunt in your life. Enough said.

Ideas Meeting Card

£2.25

"don't think about it, just say it" "Fuck you" Dream meeting scenario.

Punctuation Apostrophe Business Card

£2.25

"How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive, turned out he was after a straight plural."

Special Day Dustbin Card

£2.25

It's your special day. Sit around, have a little walkabout, drink some beer and honk your guts up into a dustbin. Classic.  

Do What You Want Card

£2.25

"It's Your Special Day - Do What You Fucking Want With it Yeah" A Stroller greetings card that captures the true spirit of celebration days: watching TV and doing fuck-all.

Hacked Bank Account Card

£2.25

"what makes you think your account has been hacked?" "'cos there's some money in it?"

Health Monitor Card

£3.25

"how you getting on with your health monitor wristband?" "yeah, I've found I'm getting much better results since I stuck it on the dog"

Sale!

Working Day Clear My Mind Card

£2.25 £1.00

As you get nearer to your place of work do you totally clear your mind until there's fuck all in it?

Early Retirement Card

£2.25

"I'm thinking of taking early retirement" "how early?" "about 2.30"    

Sale!

What Are You? Card

£2.25 £1.00

"What are you, some sort of cunt?" (T'es qui toi, une sorte de con?)

Borrow 20 Quid Card

£2.25

"Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?" "How about I just keep the 20 quid?" "That works for me, happy birthday yeah!"

Stroller Postcard Set

£9.99

Stroller Postcard Set Ever thought about sending your boss a postcard featuring him being serviced from behind by a cart horse? Well you can now, thanks to this surreal and highly collectable Stroller postcard set. Stick ‘em on your wall or reach out and touch a friend with this selection of beautifully-crafted designs celebrating some totally unique and magic moments....

Motoring Speeding Card

£2.25

"I'm arresting you for speeding." "sorry mate me eyesight's fucked, I thought that sign said 'drive like a cunt"

Work Amazing Figures Card

£2.25

"these end of year figures are amazing" "yeah cheers, I fiddled around with them 'til they were bigger than last year's"

Cup Cake Mallet Card

£2.25

Cup cake stalls are not everyone's cup of tea. Fair enough.

Weekend National Trust Walk Card

£2.25

I am on a recommended National Trust public walk, I see someone has hung a bag of dog shit from a tree.

Appraisal Cunts Upstairs Card

£2.25

"we would like to point out to you that it's highly unprofessional to refer to us as 'the cunts upstairs' when sending out emails to our client database" "Fair enough, rules are rules"

Awkward Cunt Pastries Card

£2.25

"do you want any cakes or pastries with that?" "if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them"

Wine Box Card

£2.25

"when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?"

New Arrival Card

£2.25

''helloooo" "isn't it beautiful" "where's my fucking presents?"

Bullshitters Refreshers Card

£2.25

"I see you took yesterday off for a 'bullshitter's refresher course" "yeah here's my expenses"

Data Analyst Card

£2.25

"this spreadsheet of yours doesn't appear to make any sense" "yeah it's bollocks innit"  

Work Biscuits Card

£2.25

"right Steve, come on what are you bringing to the table?" "I brought the biscuits?"

Customer Services Piss Myself Card

£2.25

"this drink I bought off you, made me piss myself"

Punctuation Can't be Fucked Card

£2.25

"People used to use me to partially obscure swearwords, but it seems like they can't be fucked anymore" "luck of the draw mate, I was long term unemployed until some bloke invented email"

Generation Arsehole GCSE Card

£2.25

"I normally home tutor for maths GCSE" "we just want you to train home not to piss all round the toilet seat"

Work Impressive Reference Card

£2.25

"very impressive reference" "cheers, I wrote that"

Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Card

£2.25

"hello my name's Peter and I'm a fucking arsehole"

Punctuation What Do You Do Card

£2.25

"And what do you do?" "Traditionally, I indicate an elaboration of something that were just before me, but since texting came along I've been doing a lot of work with the old end bracket here" "Yeah we've been run off our feet lately, people can't leave us alone"

Wedding Facebook Status Card

£2.25

"Do you take this man" "Hang on mate, I'm just updating me relationship status" That moment when modern technology makes you want to give up and live in a cave.

Sign Up Don't Turn Up Card

£2.25

"Do you do a 'Sign Up, Don't Turn Up' Package?"

Company Calendar Card

£2.25

"what's all these photos of you naked?" "just letting you know what I've got if you need to do a company calendar"

Work at the Weekend Card

£2.25

"Can you come in at the weekend?" "̏'ll come in but I'm not fucking doing anything"

Sale!

Smoking Aerobics Card

£2.25 £1.00

"That high intensity speed aerobics class you're advertising, is it smoking or non-smoking?"

Line Manager Card

£2.25

"how are you getting on with your new line manager? "he's a fucking cunt" Got a new boss? Why not buy them a card to welcome them to their new position?

Work Dress Code Card

£2.25

"We don't have a dress code as such, but I would appreciate it if you could tone it down a bit"  

Key Strategy Meeting Card

£2.25

"first item, Peter would like to apologise for his absence, says he couldn't be fucked" Hone your business marketing plan with this inspiring card. Or not, if you can't really be arsed. Either is good.

Stick It Up Your Arse Card

£2.25

"in an ideal world I'd tell you to stick this job up your arse"

Bollocks To This Card

£2.25

"it's definitely Peter, I recognise the handwriting"

Pro Gamer Card

£2.25

"I went outside earlier in the week, it's like you literally have no control over anything?"

Downton Abbey Card

£2.25

Downton Abbey Card "d'you reckon we should dress for dinner?"

Village Cake Off Card

£2.25

"leave it Steve, so what if he reckons your sponge base was a bit on the moist side"

Multi-tasking Card

£2.25

"What are you like at multi-tasking? "Pretty good. I often read the paper while I'm having a shit."

Sale!

6 Months Off Card

£2.25 £1.00

"What illnesses would you recommend for getting 6 months or longer off work?" A get well soon card or an 'I hate work' card that will either cheer the recipient up or make them cry. Or both. We can't take responsibility for that sort of thing.

Work From Home Card

£2.25

"we've decided we'd like you to work from home, preferably for someone else"  

Dog at Work Card

£2.25

"you can't bring a dog into work" "er hello? He's not actually working"" Fair point really.  

Sale!

Narcissist Boss Card

£2.25 £1.00

"Anyway, cheers for all your hard work and here's a little something from me"

Weekend Dog Cheese Card

£2.25

The opening of the fridge door alerts the dog to the presence of cheese.

Executive Burnout Card

£2.25

"several clients have complained about receiving emails from a 'mistershits@pisscompany.com'" "yeah that'll be me working from home after a few drinks"

Fucking Typical Card

£2.25

"I want a bank loan" "I'm going to have to take a few details down" "tell you what mate fucking swivel on it, no wonder the country's fucked"

Awkward Cunt Card

£2.25

"can I help you sir?" "I don't fucking know, you tell me"

One Bar Signal Card

£2.25

"Congratulations you've got the job!" "I dunno if I can work here, I'm only getting one bar on me phone"   Priorities, innit?

Specific Time Card

£2.25

"Whoa hang on, so the deal as you see it is - I have to come in almost everyday at a specific time?" The harsh reality of working life dawns on a new recruit.

Real Ale Card

£2.25

"have you tried this real ale from Stephen's micro brewery?" "smells like someone scooped it out of a ditch"

Working Day Jacket Card

£2.25

Before lunch I leave my jacket on my chair, so if I decide not to come back people think I'm still around somewhere.

Busiest Week Card

£2.25

"I see you've applied for time off during our busiest week." "yeah, hopefully you'll have everything done by the time I get back." A productivity-boosting work-themed greetings card for the lazy tosser in your life.

Money Saving Expert Card

£2.25

"I only use it to save a few quid buying my groceries back in the 70's"

Punctuation Paris Hat Card

£2.25

"I love your hat" "thanks, I picked it up in Paris"

Weekend Too Early Card

£2.25

Is it still slightly too early for a drink?

Sale!

Pencil Twitter Card

£2.25 £1.00

"have you got a pencil I can borrow?" "that's brilliant mate, do you mind if I twitter that?" Know someone who can't get their nose out of Twitter? Signal an intervention with this subtle card.

Honest Relationship Card

£2.25

"does my stomach look big in this?" "yeah"

Go For It Yeah Card

£2.25

"Happy Birthday - Go For It Yeah!" Boost a friend's body image with this encouraging Stroller birthday card.

Afternoon Tweet Card

£2.25

"I see from your afternoon tweet that you're bored as fucking arseholes" "yeah cheers, I didn't know you were following me"

Work Motivational Poster Card

£2.25

"give us a hand putting this motivational poster up" "sorry mate I'm due an electronic fag break"

Successful Idea Card

£2.25

"Here's an idea, why don't we just do stuff that's going to be really massively successful?" Why think outside the box, when you don't have to think at all?    

Before and After Internet Card

£2.25

Just look how far we've come.

Working Day Meeting Card

£2.25

Morning catch up meeting, I'll listen in for a bit - once I know what they're talking about I'll try and say something.

Fuck Ikea Card

£2.25

"let's go to Ikea" "fuck Ikea" Because going to a furniture store for a meal is just wrong.

Sorry You're Leaving Card

£2.25

"Sorry You're Leaving" Express sorrow at a colleague's departure with this classic Stroller greetings card.

Visualise Your Goal Card

£2.25

Back by popular demand!    

Work Bored Card

£2.25

"I think I'll go home, I'm a bit bored" Why not? It's your life?

Cambridge Card

£2.25

"and I see here you went to Cambridge" "yeah I had to drop something off for someone.I was back by half six" Perfect your interview technique with this Desperate Business greetings card.    

Work Shit Meself Card

£2.25

"If I shit meself can I go home?"

Sale!

Webcam Card

£2.25 £1.00

"We're exploring new business opportunities. Carry on with the accounts but every time that red light comes on slip your top off

Smells Like Money Card

£2.25

"I need to chill out, got anything that smells like money?"

Pensions Accumulator Card

£2.25

"We don't currently have a pension scheme, but you're welcome to join in the office 7 horse accumulator" "I don't want to rush you but the first race is at 2.45"