New Card Bundle All 15 brand new Modern Toss cards in a complete pack suitable for any occasion such as birthdays and people leaving your work; or just general piss-taking. Save over £8 with this pack. Scroll through the images to see the complete collection yeah?
Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Perfume Request Card "I'm after some perfume but I don't know what it's called, it's the one with an advert where a bloke kicks a wall down and tells some people to go away, then I'm pretty sure he rides off on a horse while a woman has an argument with an eagle in French...
Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Over Confident Applicant Card "well I think that went really well" "cheers nice one mate, let's all go out and get fucking wankered yeah"
Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Homework Card "your essay's very good but the spelling is appalling" "yeah I like to add my personal voice to stuff I've downloaded off the internet"
Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Dogs Pet Shop Card "and this is our most domesticated breed" "before I go anywhere, ask them how fast their broadband speed is at home"
New Year Emoji Card "In case my Happy New Year text doesn't get through later on, I thought I'd just say Happy New Year, thumbs up" "cheers, same to you but with an added champagne bottle and party popper emoji thing yeah?"
Cheese & Wine Decorations Christmas Card"All our Christmas cards are totally hand made this year.""I wondered why it all looked so fucking shit."This one is dedicated to Kirsty Allsopp.
"Not often we get the chance to chat without a load of speech getting in the way" "Actually I'd be better be off, got a last minute job indicating an omitted character in a word somewhere"
"How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive, turned out he was after a straight plural."
"And what do you do?" "Traditionally, I indicate an elaboration of something that were just before me, but since texting came along I've been doing a lot of work with the old end bracket here" "Yeah we've been run off our feet lately, people can't leave us alone"
"People used to use me to partially obscure swearwords, but it seems like they can't be fucked anymore" "luck of the draw mate, I was long term unemployed until some bloke invented email"
"Ahh now I see from your CV you've got tap dancing down as a hobby""Yeah that's actually lap dancing, I can't type for shit"First rule of interviews: focus on your strengths. An inspiring card for jobseekers.
"we would like to point out to you that it's highly unprofessional to refer to us as 'the cunts upstairs' when sending out emails to our client database" "Fair enough, rules are rules"
"I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday" "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday" An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves.
"It's Your Special Day - Do What You Fucking Want With it Yeah" A Stroller greetings card that captures the true spirit of celebration days: watching TV and doing fuck-all.