10 classic Modern Toss cards for £7. That's just 70p a card! This bundle includes: Play to Win Card Smoking Aerobics Card Bodywork You/Me Card Last Orders Card Smells Like Money Card C&W Real Ale Card C&W Hug Card Busiest Week Card Successful Idea Card Bored as Arseholes Card When they're gone, they're gone!
Cards from our best selling collection as a bundle, at more than half price! Here are the Work cards included: Work Bi-Lingual Card Lap Dancing Card Webcam Card Narcissist Boss Card Work Bored Card Pencil Twitter Card 6 Months Off Card When they're gone, they're gone!
All 7 Mr Tourette cards for £7! This is what's included: Shit Butler Card Commuter Mood Card Shithole Business Card Cash Rapists Card Sex Tourists Card Whore Card What Are You? Card When they're gone, they're gone.
"first item, Peter would like to apologise for his absence, says he couldn't be fucked" Hone your business marketing plan with this inspiring card. Or not, if you can't really be arsed. Either is good.
"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.
"I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday" "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday" An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves.
"and I see here you went to Cambridge" "yeah I had to drop something off for someone.I was back by half six" Perfect your interview technique with this Desperate Business greetings card.
"I see you've applied for time off during our busiest week." "yeah, hopefully you'll have everything done by the time I get back." A productivity-boosting work-themed greetings card for the lazy tosser in your life.
"Ahh now I see from your CV you've got tap dancing down as a hobby""Yeah that's actually lap dancing, I can't type for shit"First rule of interviews: focus on your strengths. An inspiring card for jobseekers.
"Hello Mr Tourette, I run a complex financial services company previously known as a bank. Due to the fact we've fucked it right up we need a new logo so no-one knows who we are" later... "Yeah I thought it could stand for 'Till Fiddling Cash Rapist" "Brilliant that's the last thing they'd expect it to stand for. I might...
"we would like to point out to you that it's highly unprofessional to refer to us as 'the cunts upstairs' when sending out emails to our client database" "Fair enough, rules are rules"
"Oh hello Mr Tourette, I need a new logo for my train company, to distract the passengers from the fact that it's fucking shit." "I've had a go on one of those in the transport museum" 'THE CRAWLING SHIT WEASEL WITH BROKEN PISS CUPBOARD' "I'm not sure about the font but it;s definitely in tune with the commuter mood" "Yeah...
"ahh Mr Tourette, I need a sign for my van, I offer a dog walking service for people who've got a dog but don't really want one" "get your shit bag out, that one at the front smells like it's about to pop." "how are you getting on? Oh for fucks sake" "cheers, you might want to get a roof...
"It's Your Special Day - Do What You Fucking Want With it Yeah" A Stroller greetings card that captures the true spirit of celebration days: watching TV and doing fuck-all.
"People used to use me to partially obscure swearwords, but it seems like they can't be fucked anymore" "luck of the draw mate, I was long term unemployed until some bloke invented email"
"And what do you do?" "Traditionally, I indicate an elaboration of something that were just before me, but since texting came along I've been doing a lot of work with the old end bracket here" "Yeah we've been run off our feet lately, people can't leave us alone"
"How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive, turned out he was after a straight plural."
"Not often we get the chance to chat without a load of speech getting in the way" "Actually I'd be better be off, got a last minute job indicating an omitted character in a word somewhere"
6 classic Stroller cards for £6! Do What You Want Card Go For It Yeah Card Play To Win Card Visualise Your Goal Card Special Dustbin Card Sorry You're Leaving Card When they're gone, they're gone!
6 of the new Coloured in Card range for £7! Weekend TV Controls Weekend Parents on Landline Weekend Too Early Working Day Clear My Mind Working Day Twitter Working Day Walk Around When they're gone, they're gone!
"I need a sign for my new concept mobile restaurant, I wheel you around a supermarket, you buy the food then I heat it up in the microwave under the sea. It's for people that live on the go 24-7-365" "No problem, that'll look good with a big bit of plywood on top of it" Later... 'GARY'S SHITHOLE BUSINESS IDEA'...
"Aah Mr Tourette, we need a brand new livery for our executive city flier jet service. We're looking for a solution that will work for the international market" "You're talking my language" Later... 'SEX TOURISTS' "Oh my Christ" "I know what you're thinking, a bit gloomy"
"Ahh Mr Tourette, could you paint a For Sale sign for my house?" "Of course" 'WHORE' "Oh my God, this is not what I wanted" "What are you, some sort of cunt? I still want paying"