Cards | Modern Toss

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Milestone Birthday Card

£2.25

"do you want to do anything for your milestone birthday coming up?" "no I fucking don't" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Segway Bat Card

£2.25

Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.25

Birthday Day Off Card

£2.25

"I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday" "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday" An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten...

For a Special Lady Card

£2.25

Ed Sheeran Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Ed Sheeran Card "Alexa, play Ed Sheeran" "do I have to?" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Getting Home Early Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Getting Home Early Card "ok what does success look like to everyone?" "getting home early?" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Beer In Bed Card

£2.25

"On Your Special Day" Celebrate someone's birthday by bringing them a beer in bed. And this Stroller card. Sorted. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Boring Meeting Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Boring Meeting Card "ok if I look at my phone for a bit, this meeting's boring the fuck out of me" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Chill Out Yeah Card

£2.25

"how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Birthday Present Card

£2.25

"didn't I give this to you for Christmas?" "yeah I didn't like it, happy birthday" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sale!

Play To Win Card

~~£2.25~~ £1.00

Work Robot Card

£2.25

"I'm worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects" "Don't panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn't want it" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Brow Bar Card

£2.25

"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

Sale!

Weekend Parents on Landline Card

~~£2.25~~ £1.00

Jetty Zen Kick Card

£2.25

Beautiful surroundings and chilled out zen vibe for this Birthday message. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Pantathlon Card

£2.25

Tossary of Terms card range - Pantathlon Card Lifted from The Tossary of Terms book which identifies and defines new words and phrases for a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below...

Kiplings Smog Card

£2.25

Tossary of Terms card range - Kiplings Smog Card The Tossary of Terms identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your...

Bloody Fucking Hell Card

£2.25

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Bloody Fucking Hell Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. You can send this card direct to your mates or family...

Fucking Old Bastard Card

£2.25

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Fucking Old Bastard Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. You can send this card direct to your mates or...

Face Like A Wanker Card

£2.25

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Face Like A Wanker Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. You can send this card direct to your mates or family...

Back Sack Twat Card

£2.25

Tossary of Terms card range - Back Sack Twat Card From the Tossary of Terms book which identifies and defines new words and phrases with a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket...

Smug Goblet Card

£2.25

Tossary of Terms card range - Smug Goblet Card From the Tossary of Terms book which identifies and defines new words and phrases with a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below...

Buggering Old Twat Card

£2.25

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Buggering Old Twat Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. You can send this card direct to your mates or family...

Working Day Lie Down Card

£2.25

Work Team Player Card

£2.25

Moody Cunt Card

£2.25

"Happy Birthday You Moody Cunt" Send many happy returns of the day to the moody cunt in your life. Enough said. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Ideas Meeting Card

£2.25

Punctuation Apostrophe Business Card

£2.25

"How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive, turned out he was after a straight plural." You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it...

Special Day Dustbin Card

£2.25

It's your special day. Sit around, have a little walkabout, drink some beer and honk your guts up into a dustbin. Classic. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Do What You Want Card

£2.25

"It's Your Special Day - Do What You Fucking Want With it Yeah" A Stroller greetings card that captures the true spirit of celebration days: watching TV and doing fuck-all. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Hacked Bank Account Card

£2.25

"what makes you think your account has been hacked?" "'cos there's some money in it?" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Health Monitor Card

£2.25

Sale!

Working Day Clear My Mind Card

~~£2.25~~ £1.00

Early Retirement Card

£2.25

Sale!

What Are You? Card

~~£2.25~~ £1.00

Borrow 20 Quid Card

£2.25

"Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?" "How about I just keep the 20 quid?" "That works for me, happy birthday yeah!" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Stroller Postcard Set

£9.99

Stroller Postcard Set Ever thought about sending your boss a postcard featuring him being serviced from behind by a cart horse? Well you can now, thanks to this surreal and highly collectable Stroller postcard set. Stick ‘em on your wall or reach out and touch a friend with this selection of beautifully-crafted designs celebrating some totally unique and magic moments....

Motoring Speeding Card

£2.25

"I'm arresting you for speeding." "sorry mate me eyesight's fucked, I thought that sign said 'drive like a cunt" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Work Amazing Figures Card

£2.25

"these end of year figures are amazing" "yeah cheers, I fiddled around with them 'til they were bigger than last year's" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Cup Cake Mallet Card

£2.25

Weekend National Trust Walk Card

£2.25

I am on a recommended National Trust public walk, I see someone has hung a bag of dog shit from a tree. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Appraisal Cunts Upstairs Card

£2.25

"we would like to point out to you that it's highly unprofessional to refer to us as 'the cunts upstairs' when sending out emails to our client database" "Fair enough, rules are rules" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it...

Awkward Cunt Pastries Card

£2.25

"do you want any cakes or pastries with that?" "if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Wine Box Card

£2.25

"when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

New Arrival Card

£2.25

Bullshitters Refreshers Card

£2.25

"I see you took yesterday off for a 'bullshitter's refresher course" "yeah here's my expenses" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Data Analyst Card

£2.25

"this spreadsheet of yours doesn't appear to make any sense" "yeah it's bollocks innit" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Work Biscuits Card

£2.25

"right Steve, come on what are you bringing to the table?" "I brought the biscuits?" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Customer Services Piss Myself Card

£2.25

Punctuation Can't be Fucked Card

£2.25

"People used to use me to partially obscure swearwords, but it seems like they can't be fucked anymore" "luck of the draw mate, I was long term unemployed until some bloke invented email" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it...

Generation Arsehole GCSE Card

£2.25

"I normally home tutor for maths GCSE" "we just want you to train home not to piss all round the toilet seat" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Work Impressive Reference Card

£2.25

Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Card

£2.25

Punctuation What Do You Do Card

£2.25

"And what do you do?" "Traditionally, I indicate an elaboration of something that were just before me, but since texting came along I've been doing a lot of work with the old end bracket here" "Yeah we've been run off our feet lately, people can't leave us alone" You can send this card direct to your mates or family...

Wedding Facebook Status Card

£2.25

"Do you take this man" "Hang on mate, I'm just updating me relationship status" That moment when modern technology makes you want to give up and live in a cave. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sign Up Don't Turn Up Card

£2.25

Company Calendar Card

£2.25

"what's all these photos of you naked?" "just letting you know what I've got if you need to do a company calendar" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Work at the Weekend Card

£2.25

"Can you come in at the weekend?" "̏'ll come in but I'm not fucking doing anything" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sale!

Smoking Aerobics Card

~~£2.25~~ £1.00

Line Manager Card

£2.25

"how are you getting on with your new line manager? "he's a fucking cunt" Got a new boss? Why not buy them a card to welcome them to their new position? You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. ...

Work Dress Code Card

£2.25

"We don't have a dress code as such, but I would appreciate it if you could tone it down a bit" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Key Strategy Meeting Card

£2.25

"first item, Peter would like to apologise for his absence, says he couldn't be fucked" Hone your business marketing plan with this inspiring card. Or not, if you can't really be arsed. Either is good. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and...

Stick It Up Your Arse Card

£2.25

Bollocks To This Card

£2.25

Pro Gamer Card

£2.25

"I went outside earlier in the week, it's like you literally have no control over anything?" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Downton Abbey Card

£2.25

Village Cake Off Card

£2.25

"leave it Steve, so what if he reckons your sponge base was a bit on the moist side" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Multi-tasking Card

£2.25

"What are you like at multi-tasking? "Pretty good. I often read the paper while I'm having a shit." You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sale!

6 Months Off Card

~~£2.25~~ £1.00

Work From Home Card

£2.25

"we've decided we'd like you to work from home, preferably for someone else" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Dog at Work Card

£2.25

"you can't bring a dog into work" "er hello? He's not actually working"" Fair point really. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sale!

Narcissist Boss Card

~~£2.25~~ £1.00

Weekend Dog Cheese Card

£2.25

Executive Burnout Card

£2.25

"several clients have complained about receiving emails from a '[email protected]'" "yeah that'll be me working from home after a few drinks" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Fucking Typical Card

£2.25

"I want a bank loan" "I'm going to have to take a few details down" "tell you what mate fucking swivel on it, no wonder the country's fucked" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Awkward Cunt Card

£2.25

One Bar Signal Card

£2.25

"Congratulations you've got the job!" "I dunno if I can work here, I'm only getting one bar on me phone" Priorities, innit? You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Specific Time Card

£2.25

"Whoa hang on, so the deal as you see it is - I have to come in almost everyday at a specific time?" The harsh reality of working life dawns on a new recruit. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write...

Real Ale Card

£2.25

"have you tried this real ale from Stephen's micro brewery?" "smells like someone scooped it out of a ditch" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Working Day Jacket Card

£2.25

Before lunch I leave my jacket on my chair, so if I decide not to come back people think I'm still around somewhere. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Busiest Week Card

£2.25

"I see you've applied for time off during our busiest week." "yeah, hopefully you'll have everything done by the time I get back." A productivity-boosting work-themed greetings card for the lazy tosser in your life. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and...