Drive By Poetry Book


NEW! Hardback Collection of Drive By Abuser Poetry, happily tackling any subject in the world and making some sense of it. Alright? Thumbing through a book yeah? Admiring its epic sweep? Must be a classic. I should know, I fucking wrote it. STOCK NOW IN!

Toss Desktop Calendar 2021


Modern Toss Desktop Calendar 2021 STOCK NOW IN! The formidable A5 Desktop Calendar has returned fresh to the Modern Toss shop and is ready to tell you what day it is. This time delivered in a timeless shade of classic blue. Suitable for your desk, worktop, or wherever the fuck you want. Contains historical dates of birthdays and notable people. A...

Toss Stickers


Welcome to our first ever pack of Toss stickers. Perfect for livening up boring old shit lying around your house or office.

Work is Shit Book


Work is Shit Book Introducing a brand new collection of pin-sharp and totally hilarious work jokes from Modern Toss. This bang-up-to-date selection explores some of the technological advances which have managed to make work even more shit than it was before, while still acknowledging the more traditional ways that have always made work shit. Warning: Contains language actually used in...

Tossary of Terms Book


Welcome to Tossary of Terms, the first in an illustrated dictionary series produced by cult cartoonists Modern Toss. This book identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.  The fast changing modern scene chucks up stuff faster than we can nail it down and label it. The...

Christmas Mood Book


Eighty pages of seasonal cartoon excellence! Contains a hand-picked selection of our greatest festive hits, trussed up in one bumper blowout book. Includes new cartoons!

Festive Shit Wrap


Festive Shit Wrap Get your shit-naks all wrapped up with this limited edition Festive Shit Wrapping paper for the full Toss effect this Christmas. Sold in packs of 2. Dimensions: 489mm x 692mm

Seasonal Bollock Stick


A build-your-own die-cut desktop Christmas tree featuring Alan as a festive tree topper. Stands at 28cm high. Festive, yeah? See the Seasonal Bollock Stick rotate through 360 degrees in this exclusive video. Requires minimal construction skills - watch the how-to video here. Dimensions: Packaged: 28.5cm x 19cm Assembled: 28cm x 17cm x 8cm

Periodic Table A5 Notebook


Periodic Table of Swearing Notebook One of the 21st century's most cutting edge designs has been stuck on the cover of a notebook. The Periodic Table of Swearing contains over 100 swear elements including personal favourites, 'Stinks Like Piss', 'Who's The Prat In The Corner' and 'Stupid Cunt.' Perfect for taking notes in class or at work, while sneakily swearing...

Work Amazing Figures Notebook


Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Work Amazing Figures Notebook "these end of year figures are amazing" "yeah cheers, I fiddled around with them 'til they were bigger than last year's"

Ideas Meeting Mug


"don't think about it, just say it" "fuck you"  2 FOR £20 ON ALL MUGS AND TEA TOWELS Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter.

Work at Weekend Mug


"can you come in at the weekend?" "I'll come in but I'm not fucking doing anything." 2 FOR £20 ON ALL MUGS AND TEA TOWELS Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter.

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