Birthday Present Card

£2.25

"didn't I give this to you for Christmas?" "yeah I didn't like it, happy birthday"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Before and After Internet Card

£2.25

Just look how far we've come.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Village Cake Off Card

£2.25

"leave it Steve, so what if he reckons your sponge base was a bit on the moist side"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Spa You/Me Time Card

£2.25

'I want to book myself in for some 'me time'' "we only do 'you time' is that ok?'   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Bodywork Losing Weight Card

£2.25

"I've lost quite a bit of weight worrying about not going to the gym"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Brow Bar Card

£2.25

"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

Weekend Test Pot Card

£2.25

"I fucking hate that colour" Welcome someone to their new home with?some harsh truths about how they'll be spending their weekends   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Wedding Facebook Status Card

£2.25

"Do you take this man" "Hang on mate, I'm just updating me relationship status" That moment when modern technology makes you want to give up and live in a cave.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Book is Shit Card

£2.25

"This book I bought off you is fucking shit" The Modern Toss customer services department is highly trained to deal with complaints of this nature.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Borrow 20 Quid Card

£2.25

"Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?" "How about I just keep the 20 quid?" "That works for me, happy birthday yeah!"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Book From Grandad Card

£2.25

"look, Grandad's bought you a book" "how d'you turn it on?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Fuck Ikea Card

£2.25

"let's go to Ikea" "fuck Ikea" Because going to a furniture store for a meal is just wrong.

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