Greeting Pipe Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards...  Greeting Pipe Card "Ding Dong" who the fuck's that...   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Snapchat Cock Pic Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards...  Snapchat Cock Pic Card "It's amazing how we're all so connected now" "Yeah I've just accidentally snapchatted a cock pic to my mum" "Only a few years ago that would have been impossible"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here....

Bird Feeder Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards...  Bird Feeder Card "I started putting food out for them, now I can't keep up with their demands"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Garden Centre Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards...  Garden Centre Card "I wanna start growing my own food, you got any pizza seeds?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Smart Bin Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... ' Smart Bin Card "Not eating that lettuce then? Managed the chips though yeah, you fat cunt."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Social Pisstancing Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest lockdown edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Social Pisstancing' "yard of ale and a two metre flute of cider please mate"  Desperate Business cartoon from Private Eye. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Community Spirit Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest lockdown edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Community Spirit' Card "alright mate, do you wanna buy my supermarket delivery slot?"  Desperate Business cartoon from Private Eye. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Bubble Life Streaming Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Bubble Life Streaming' "Do you wanna join me live streaming myself watching someone live streaming themselves playing a guitar?" "Yeah in a bit, I'm just tiktokking myself eating biscuit"  Desperate Business cartoon first showed in Private Eye You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via...

Bubble Life Podcast Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest lockdown edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Bubble Life Podcast' "I'm thinking about doing a podcast about not going on holiday" "I'm thinking about doing a podcast about not listening to your podcast about not going on holiday" "Sounds good, maybe I'll just listen to that instead"   You can send this card direct to your mates or...

Milestone Birthday Card

£2.50

"do you want to do anything for your milestone birthday coming up?" "no I fucking don't"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Anti-Social Networking Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Anti-Social Networking Card "I see you've sent me another friend request"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Museum of Rave Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Museum of Rave Card "You got a chill out room? Me dad's having a massive flashback"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Walk in Wardrobe Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Walk in Wardrobe Card "We've had an emergency call from a woman who's lost in a walk in wardrobe?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Perfume Buyer Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Perfume Buyer Card "I'm after some perfume but I don't know what it's called, it's the one with an advert where a bloke kicks a wall down and tells some people to go away, then I'm pretty sure he rides off on a horse while a woman has an argument with an eagle in French and...

Bum Look Big Enough Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Bum Look Big Enough Card "Does my bum look big enough in this?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Generation Arsehole GCSE Card

£2.50

"I normally home tutor for maths GCSE" "we just want you to train home not to piss all round the toilet seat"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Company Calendar Card

£2.50

"what's all these photos of you naked?" "just letting you know what I've got if you need to do a company calendar"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Hacked Bank Account Card

£2.50

"what makes you think your account has been hacked?" "'cos there's some money in it?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Sign Up Don't Turn Up Card

£2.50

"Do you do a 'Sign Up, Don't Turn Up' Package?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.50

"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Customer Services Piss Myself Card

£2.50

"this drink I bought off you, made me piss myself"

Health Monitor Card

£2.50

"how you getting on with your health monitor wristband?" "yeah, I've found I'm getting much better results since I stuck it on the dog"

Honest Relationship Card

£2.50

"does my stomach look big in this?" "yeah"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Last Orders Card

£2.50

"As you can see they've retained a few original features, like Pete who used to drink here when it was a pub" "Where's the crisps?"  Desperate Business cartoon from Private Eye. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Pro Gamer Card

£2.50

"I went outside earlier in the week, it's like you literally have no control over anything?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Money Saving Expert Card

£2.50

"I only use it to save a few quid buying my groceries back in the 70's"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Awkward Cunt Pastries Card

£2.50

"do you want any cakes or pastries with that?" "if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Card

£2.50

"hello my name's Peter and I'm a fucking arsehole"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Bollocks To This Card

£2.50

"it's definitely Peter, I recognise the handwriting"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Chill Out Yeah Card

£2.50

"how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Ed Sheeran Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Ed Sheeran Card "Alexa, play Ed Sheeran" "do I have to?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.   

Awkward Cunt Card

£2.50

"can I help you sir?" "I don't fucking know, you tell me"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

New Arrival Card

£2.50

''helloooo" "isn't it beautiful" "where's my fucking presents?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

High Street Coffee Card

£2.50

''Excuse me, is there anywhere round here I can't get a coffee?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Motoring Speeding Card

£2.50

"I'm arresting you for speeding." "sorry mate me eyesight's fucked, I thought that sign said 'drive like a cunt"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Wine Box Card

£2.50

"when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Smells Like Money Card

£2.50

"I need to chill out, got anything that smells like money?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Fucking Typical Card

£2.50

"I want a bank loan" "I'm going to have to take a few details down" "tell you what mate fucking swivel on it, no wonder the country's fucked"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Birthday Present Card

£2.50

"didn't I give this to you for Christmas?" "yeah I didn't like it, happy birthday"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Before and After Internet Card

£2.50

Just look how far we've come.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Dogs Pet Shop Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Dogs Pet Shop Card "and this is our most domesticated breed" "before I go anywhere, ask them how fast their broadband speed is at home"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Awkward Cunt Drink Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Awkward Cunt Drink Card "can I get you a drink sir?" "I dunno, can you?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Village Cake Off Card

£2.50

"leave it Steve, so what if he reckons your sponge base was a bit on the moist side"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sale!

Spa You/Me Time Card

£2.50 £1.25

'I want to book myself in for some 'me time'' "we only do 'you time' is that ok?'   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Bodywork Losing Weight Card

£2.50

"I've lost quite a bit of weight worrying about not going to the gym"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Brow Bar Card

£2.50

"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

Sale!

Weekend Test Pot Card

£2.50 £1.25

"I fucking hate that colour" Welcome someone to their new home with?some harsh truths about how they'll be spending their weekends   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Wedding Facebook Status Card

£2.50

"Do you take this man" "Hang on mate, I'm just updating me relationship status" That moment when modern technology makes you want to give up and live in a cave.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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