Milestone Birthday Card

£2.25

"do you want to do anything for your milestone birthday coming up?" "no I fucking don't"

Work Team Player Card

£2.25

"hi sorry I'm late, I couldn't be fucked to get here any quicker"

Segway Bat Card

£2.25

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Taken from the Mindless Violence Colouring Book

Working Day Lie Down Card

£2.25

Working Day too much? Have a drink and a lie down.

Punctuation Apostrophe Business Card

£2.25

"How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive, turned out he was after a straight plural."

Moody Cunt Card

£2.25

"Happy Birthday You Moody Cunt" Send many happy returns of the day to the moody cunt in your life. Enough said.

Birthday Day Off Card

£2.25

"I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday" "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday" An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves.  

Seasonal Bollocks Card

£2.25

Seasonal Bollocks Card Seasonal Bollocks to You

Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.25

"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"

Work Robot Card

£2.25

"I'm worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects" "Don't panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn't want it"

Special Day Dustbin Card

£2.25

It's your special day. Sit around, have a little walkabout, drink some beer and honk your guts up into a dustbin. Classic.  

For a Special Lady Card

£2.25

Because the lady loves... fags and wine in bed.  

Jetty Zen Kick Card

£2.25

Beautiful surroundings and chilled out zen vibe for this Birthday message.

Christmas Game Card

£2.25

''one word...''''bollocks''

Ideas Meeting Card

£2.25

"don't think about it, just say it" "Fuck you" Dream meeting scenario.

Chill Out Yeah Card

£2.25

"how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start"

Punctuation What Do You Do Card

£2.25

"And what do you do?" "Traditionally, I indicate an elaboration of something that were just before me, but since texting came along I've been doing a lot of work with the old end bracket here" "Yeah we've been run off our feet lately, people can't leave us alone"

Health Monitor Card

£2.25

"how you getting on with your health monitor wristband?" "yeah, I've found I'm getting much better results since I stuck it on the dog"

Bodywork Brow Bar Card

£2.25

"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.

Birthday Present Card

£2.25

"didn't I give this to you for Christmas?" "yeah I didn't like it, happy birthday"

Weekend National Trust Walk Card

£2.25

I am on a recommended National Trust public walk, I see someone has hung a bag of dog shit from a tree.

SAD Robin Card

£2.25

"that robin's in the garden again""have you tried throwing something at it?"

Do What You Want Card

£2.25

"It's Your Special Day - Do What You Fucking Want With it Yeah" A Stroller greetings card that captures the true spirit of celebration days: watching TV and doing fuck-all.

Bus Replacement Card

£2.25

"this is the most up to date set, it comes with a replacement bus service"