Lockdown Stuff

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Working From Home Lift Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Working From Home Lift Card "Are you missing the office again?" "Yeah I was just pretending I was stuck in a lift." You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Working From Home Bookshelves Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Working From Home Bookshelves Card "Hello? Do your bookshelves come with books? I've got a 1.30 zoom meeting and I don't want to look like a total idiot." You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket...

Garden Centre Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Garden Centre Card "I wanna start growing my own food, you got any pizza seeds?" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Bird Feeder Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Bird Feeder Card "I started putting food out for them, now I can't keep up with their demands" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Smart Bin Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... ' Smart Bin Card "Not eating that lettuce then? Managed the chips though yeah, you fat cunt." You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Bubble Live Streaming Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Bubble Life Streaming' "Do you wanna join me live streaming myself watching someone live streaming themselves playing a guitar?" "Yeah in a bit, I'm just tiktokking myself eating biscuit" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below...

Bubble Live Podcast Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest lockdown edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Bubble Life Podcast' "I'm thinking about doing a podcast about not going on holiday" "I'm thinking about doing a podcast about not listening to your podcast about not going on holiday" "Sounds good, maybe I'll just listen to that instead" You can send this card direct to your mates or...

Work Commute Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest lockdown edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Work Commute' "just simulating my commute into work, reckon I'll be about 40 minutes late due to a signal failure" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Community Spirit Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest lockdown edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Community Spirit' Card "alright mate, do you wanna buy my supermarket delivery slot?" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Social Pisstancing Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest lockdown edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Social Pisstancing' "yard of ale and a two metre flute of cider please mate" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Buy More Shit Card

£2.50

Buy More Shit or We're all Fucked First created following the 2008 banking crash, we didn't expect our Buy More Shit or We're All Fucked stuff to still be relevant but here we are.... Spread the word with this greeting card. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

Chillaxative Card

£2.50

Tossary of Terms card range - Chillaxative Card From the Tossary of Terms book which identifies and defines new words and phrases with a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and...

You Look Like A Tit Card

£2.50

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - You Look Like A Tit Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. You can send this card direct to your...

Pissed As A Cunt Card

£2.50

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Pissed As A Cunt Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. You can send this card direct to your mates or...

Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.50

Work From Home Card

£2.50

"we've decided we'd like you to work from home, preferably for someone else" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Bollocks To This Card

£2.50

Weekend Too Early Card

£2.50

Clear Up The Pisspots Postcard

£1.75

Drive By Poetry Book

£9.99

NEW! Hardback Collection of Drive By Abuser Poetry, happily tackling any subject in the world and making some sense of it. Alright? Thumbing through a book yeah? Admiring its epic sweep? Must be a classic. I should know, I fucking wrote it. STOCK NOW IN!

Work is Shit Book

£9.99

Work is Shit Book Introducing a brand new collection of pin-sharp and totally hilarious work jokes from Modern Toss. This bang-up-to-date selection explores some of the technological advances which have managed to make work even more shit than it was before, while still acknowledging the more traditional ways that have always made work shit. Warning: Contains language actually used in...

Tossary of Terms Book

£9.99

Welcome to Tossary of Terms, the first illustrated dictionary series by Modern Toss. This book identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. The fast changing modern scene chucks up stuff faster than we can nail it down and label it. The ear grease on a smart...

Decade Book

£28.00

'The Best Book Ever' – The Sunday Times Style Magazine 'You will shit yourself laughing.' – The Idler 'Already a contemporary cartoon classic.' – The Guardian 'No one captures the frustrations of modern British life more acutely, or scurrilously, than Modern Toss.' – The Independent LAST FEW LEFT! This incredible collection documents the Modern Toss story from the very beginning,...

Shitscapes #3 Print

£75.00

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