Work Card Bundle

£7.00

Cards from our best selling collection as a new bundle, at almost half price! Here are the Work cards included: Work Bi-Lingual Card Maverick Boss Card Company Policy Card Webcam Card Narcissist Boss Card Pregnant Time Off Card Paternity Leave Card Pencil Twitter Card 6 Months Off Card When they're gone, they're gone!

Classic Toss Card Bundle

£7.00

14 classic Modern Toss cards for £7. That's 50p a card! This bundle includes: Open Plan Filth Addict Card Salsa Lessons Card Book from Grandad Card Health Crisps Card Smoking Aerobics Card Buy More Shit or We're All Fucked Card Legal Longshots Axe Card Home-Clubber: Craft Course Card Home-Clubber: Family Tree Card Customer Services Book Card Total Disaster Shelf Card Pocket...

Cheese & Wine Card Bundle

£7.00

The full set of Cheese & Wine cards for £7. Bargain! Here's what's included: Gerry Hug Card Real Ale Card Interest Rates Card Minding My Business Card Piss on Barbecue Card He Fucked My Wife Card When they're gone, they're gone!

Mr. Tourette Card Bundle

£8.50

All 9 Mr Tourette cards for £8.50! This is what's included: Shit Butler Card Commuter Mood Card Shithole Business Card Cash Rapists Card Sex Tourists Card Whore Card Still Want Paying Card What Are You? Card Horse Fucking Service Card When they're gone, they're gone.

Honest Relationship Card

£2.25

Honest Relationship Card   "does my stomach look big in this?" "yeah"

Last Orders Card

£2.25

Last Orders Card   "As you can see they've retained a few original features, like Pete who used to drink here when it was a pub" "Where's the crisps?"

Pro Gamer Card

£2.25

Pro Gamer Card   "I went outside earlier in the week, it's like you literally have no control over anything?"

Money Saving Expert Card

£2.25

Money Saving Expert Card   "I only use it to save a few quid buying my groceries back in the 70's"

Awkward Cunt Pastries Card

£2.25

Awkward Cunt Pastries Card   "do you want any cakes or pastries with that?" "if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them"

Work Amazing Figures Card

£2.25

Work Amazing Figures Card   "these end of year figures are amazing" "yeah cheers, I fiddled around with them 'til they were bigger than last year's"

Work Motivational Poster Card

£2.25

Work Motivational Poster Card   "give us a hand putting this motivational poster up" "sorry mate I'm due an electronic fag break"

Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Card

£2.25

Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Card   "hello my name's Peter and I'm a fucking arsehole"

Bollocks To This Card

£2.25

Bollocks To This Card   "it's definitely Peter, I recognise the handwriting"

Milestone Birthday Card

£2.25

Milestone Birthday Card   "do you want to do anything for your milestone birthday coming up?" "no I fucking don't"

Chill Out Yeah Card

£2.25

Chill Out Yeah Card   "how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start"

Work Biscuits Card

£2.25

Work Biscuits Card   "right Steve, come on what are you bringing to the table?" "I brought the biscuits?"

Invisible Arsehole Card

£2.25

Invisible Arsehole Card   "Your glass of red wine sir" "I'm over here you cunt"

Stick It Up Your Arse Card

£2.25

Work - Stick It Up Your Arse Card   "in an ideal world I'd tell you to stick this job up your arse"   For the full Work collection click here.

Bodywork Losing Weight Card

£2.25

Bodywork Losing Weight Card   "I've lost quite a bit of weight worrying about not going to the gym"

Awkward Cunt Card

£2.25

Awkward Cunt Card   "can I help you sir?" "I don't fucking know, you tell me"

Cheese & Wine Hug Card

£2.25

Cheese & Wine Hug Card   "bloody hell Gerry he was only trying to give you a hug." "I thought he was coming at me so I decked him."

Weekend Serving Hatch Card

£2.25

Weekend Serving Hatch Card   "got a new serving hatch?" "yeah, Dave did it in the last two hours of DIY week." "I'll finish it off next year yeah."

New Arrival Card

£2.25

New Arrival Card   ''helloooo" "isn't it beautiful" "where's my fucking presents?"

Bodywork Maxi Dress Card

£2.25

Bodywork - Maxi Dress Card   "I'm after matching outfits for a wedding, have you got a maxi dress for a sausage dog?"

High Street Coffee Card

£2.25

  High St   ''Excuse me, is there anywhere round here I can't get a coffee?"

Pensions Accumulator Card

£2.25

Desperate Business - Pension Accumulator Card   "We don't currently have a pension scheme, but you're welcome to join in the office 7 horse accumulator" "I don't want to rush you but the first race is at 2.45"   For the full Desperate Business collection, click here.

Work Bi-Lingual Card

£2.25

Interview - Work Bi-Lingual Card   "I see from your CV that you're bilingual" "yeah English and Emoji"   For the full Work collection click here.

Wine Box Card

£2.25

Wine Box Card   "when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?"

Twitter Symptoms Card

£2.25

Get Well Soon - Twitter Symptoms Card   "yeah I don't know what's wrong with you, but if you like I can bang your symptoms out on Twitter and see what we get back"

Smells Like Money Card

£2.25

Bodywork - Smells Like Money Card   "I need to chill out, got anything that smells like money?"

Fucking Typical Card

£2.25

Fucking Typical Card   "I want a bank loan" "I'm going to have to take a few details down" "tell you what mate fucking swivel on it, no wonder the country's fucked"

Birthday Present Card

£2.25

Happy Birthday - Birthday Present Card   "didn't I give this to you for Christmas?" "yeah I didn't like it, happy birthday"

Pocket Money Expenses Card

£2.25

Little Tossers - Expenses Card   "here's your pocket money" "cheers, who do I talk to about expenses?"

Village Cake Off Card

£2.25

Village Cake Off Card   "leave it Steve, so what if he reckons your sponge base was a bit on the moist side"

Real Ale Card

£2.25

Cheese & Wine - Real Ale Card   "have you tried this real ale from Stephen's micro brewery?" "smells like someone scooped it out of a ditch"  

Motoring Speeding Card

£2.25

Motoring Speeding Card   "I'm arresting you for speeding." "sorry mate me eyesight's fucked, I thought that sign said 'drive like a cunt"

Work From Home Card

£2.25

Work From Home Card   "we've decided we'd like you to work from home, preferably for someone else"  

Headphones Meeting Card

£2.25

Headphones Meeting Card    "So there you have it, any questions?" "Run through that again will you, I had my headphones on"

Data Analyst Card

£2.25

Data Analyst Card   "this spreadsheet of yours doesn't appear to make any sense" "yeah it's bollocks innit"  

Work at the Weekend Card

£2.25

Work at the Weekend Card   “can you come in at the weekend?” “I’ll come in but I’m not fucking doing anything”   For the full Work collection click here.  

Key Strategy Meeting Card

£2.25

Key Strategy Meeting Card   “first item, Peter would like to apologise for his absence, says he couldn’t be fucked.” Hone your business marketing plan with this inspiring card. Or not, if you can't really be arsed. Either is good.

Before and After Internet Card

£2.25

Before and After Internet Card   Just look how far we've come. 

Sale!

Narcissist Boss Card

£2.25 £1.00

Narcissist Boss Card   “Anyway, cheers for all your hard work and here’s a little something from me.”

Work Shit Meself Card

£2.25

Work Shit Meself Card   “If I shit meself can I go home?”   For the full Work collection click here.

Sale!

Total Disaster Shelf Card

£2.25 £1.00

Total Fucking Disaster in Shelf Card   Thinking about putting up a shelf? Here's one way not to do it.

Bodywork You/Me Time Card

£2.25

Bodywork You/Me Time Card   “I want to book myself in for some ‘me time’” “we only do ‘you time’ is that gonna be ok?”   Treat yourself by paying a stranger to groom you.

Bodywork Brow Bar Card

£2.25

Bodywork Brow Bar Card   “I’ve got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I’m really interested”   If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.

Tourette Shit Butler Card

£2.25

Tourette Shit Butler   “ahh Mr Tourette, I need a sign for my van, I offer a dog walking service for people who’ve got a dog but don’t really want one” “get your shit bag out, that one at the front smells like it’s about to pop.”  “how are you getting on? Oh for fucks sake”  “cheers, you might want to...

Interest Rates Card

£2.25

Cheese and Wine Interest Rates Card   “So, what do you think will happen to the interest rate?” “I couldn’t give a flying fuck”

Weekend Test Pot Card

£2.25

Weekend Test Pot Card   “I fucking hate that colour.”   Welcome someone to their new home with some harsh truths about how they'll be spending their weekends.

Wedding Facebook Card

£2.25

Wedding Facebook Card   “Do you take this man…” “Hang on mate, I’m just updating me relationship status.”   That moment when modern technology makes you want to give up and live in a cave.

Customer Feedback Card

£2.25

Work - Customer Feedback Card   "great to get all this feedback off our new customer forum." "yeah I had no idea we were such a shit company."   For the full Work collection click here. 

Customer Services Book Card

£2.25

Customer Services Book Card   "This book I bought off you is fucking shit."   The Modern Toss customer services department is highly trained to deal with complaints of this nature.

Borrow 20 Quid Card

£2.25

Happy Birthday - Borrow 20 Quid Card   "Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?"  "How about if I just keep the 20 quid?"  "That works for me, happy birthday yeah!"   Keep it simple with a gift amnesty.

Book From Grandad Card

£2.25

Book From Grandad Card   "look, Grandad's bought you a book." "how d'you turn it on?"  

Birthday Day Off Card

£2.25

Work - Birthday Day Off Card   "I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday." "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday."   An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves.   For the full Work collection click...

Successful Idea Card

£2.25

Desperate Business - Successful Idea Card   "Here's an idea, why don't we just do stuff that's going to be really massively successful?"   Why think outside the box, when you don't have to think at all?   Also available on a notebook, coaster and risograph print. 

One Bar Signal Card

£2.25

Interview - One Bar Signal Card   "Congratulations you've got the job!" "I dunno if I can work here, I'm only getting one bar on me phone."   Priorities, innit?

Sale!

Maverick Boss Card

£2.25 £1.00

Maverick Boss Card   “Jean, choose someone at random and send them in please.”

Sale!

Filth Addict Card

£2.25 £1.00

Filth Addict Card   Happy birthday to all Grand Designs and pornography enthusiasts.

Early Retirement Card

£2.25

Work - Early Retirement Card   "I'm thinking of taking early retirement." "how early?" "about 2.30."   For the full Work collection click here. 

Bored As Arseholes Card

£2.25

Work - Bored As Arseholes Card   "I see from your afternoon tweet that you're bored as fucking arseholes." "yeah cheers, I didn't know you were following me."    Also available as a coaster. 

Sale!

6 Months Off Card

£2.25 £1.00

Health - 6 Months Off Card   "What illnesses would you recommend for getting 6 months or longer off work?"   A get well soon card or an 'I hate work' card that will either cheer the recipient up or make them cry. Or both. We can't take responsibility for that sort of thing.

Sale!

Crufts Card

£2.25 £1.00

Crufts Card   "Hello, is that Crufts? Have you got a category for people who look like their dogs?"

Company Policy Card

£2.25

Work - Company Policy Card   "What's the company policy on wearing a t-shirt with 'cunt' written on it?"   A 'congratulations on your new job' card for that friend or relative who will probably get fired within a month.    For the full Work collection click here.

Commuter Mood Card

£2.25

Mr Tourette - Commuter Mood Card   “Oh hello Mr Tourette, I need a new logo for my train company, to distract the passengers from the fact that’s it’s fucking shit.” “I’ve had a go on one of those in the transport museum.” 'THE CRAWLING SHIT WEASEL WITH BROKEN PISS CUPBOARD' “I’m not sure about the font but it’s definitely...

Cambridge Card

£2.25

Desperate Business - Cambridge Card   "and I see here you went to Cambridge." "yeah I had to drop something off for someone. I was back by half six."   Perfect your interview technique with this Desperate Business greetings card.   For the full Desperate Business collection click here.  

Sale!

Webcam Card

£2.25 £1.00

Desperate Business - Webcam Card   “We’re exploring new business opportunities. Carry on with the accounts but every time that red light comes on slip your top off.”   On the lookout for a new revenue stream?

Specific Time Card

£2.25

Work - Specific Time Card   "Whoa hang on, so the deal as you see it is - I have to come in almost everyday at a specific time?"   The harsh reality of working life dawns on a new recruit.   For the full Work collection click here.

Busiest Week Card

£2.25

Work - Busiest Week Card   "I see you've applied for time off during our busiest week." "yeah, hopefully you'll have everything done by the time I get back."   A productivity-boosting work-themed greetings card for the lazy tosser in your life.    For the full Work collection click here.

Minding My Business Card

£2.25

Cheese & Wine - Minding My Business Card   "What are you up to at the moment?" "Minding my own fucking business."

Sale!

Legal Longshots Axe Card

£2.25 £1.00

Legal Longshots Axe Card   “I was throwing an axe at a window when it smashed right through and fucking killed someone, you’re a lawyer, whose fault is it under those circumstances?”  “I might have to look it up on the internet, but I tell you now I’m going to fight this one all the way, I’m 1000% behind you.”...

Sale!

Nose Hair Card

£2.25 £1.00

Nose Hair Card   "I'm going to be late, I'm having a bad nose hair day."

Sale!

Shithole Business Card

£2.25 £1.00

Mr Tourette - Shithole Business Card   “I need a sign for my new concept mobile restaurant, I wheel you around a supermarket, you buy the food then I heat it up in the microwave under the sea. It’s for people that live on the go 24-7-365.” “No problem, that’ll look good with a big bit of plywood on top...

Not Coming In Card

£2.25

Not Coming In Card   "So if I keep not coming in, you're going to start not paying me?"   Always check your contract before you start a new job.   Also available on a coaster. 

Sale!

Salsa Lessons Card

£2.25 £1.00

Salsa Lessons Card   "Well you wouldn't come to salsa lessons."   Also available as part of a Relationships card bundle. 

Cash Rapists Card

£2.25

Mr Tourette - Cash Rapists Card   “Hello Mr Tourette, I run a complex financial services company previously known as a bank. Due to the fact we’ve fucked it right up we need a new logo so no-one knows who we are.” “Sounds piss easy, I’ll see what letters I’ve got lying around in the van.”  later…  “Yeah I thought...

Sale!

Craft Course Card

£2.25 £1.00

Home-clubber - Craft Course Card   “I’ve been on a traditional writing course learning how to write a letter with a pen and a piece of paper. All I’ve got to do now is scan it in and e-mail it to someone.”   Home-clubber turns his hand to vintage arts and crafts.

Interview Texting Card

£2.25

Interview - Texting Card   “Yeah, carry on talking mate, I’ve just got to bang out a couple of texts.”   Good luck with that interview yeah? See you down the job centre.

Lap Dancing Card

£2.25

Interview - Lap Dancing Card   “Ahh now I see from your CV you’ve got tap dancing down as a hobby.” “Yeah that’s actually lap dancing, I can’t type for shit.”   First rule of interviews: focus on your strengths. An inspiring card for jobseekers.

Appraisal Cunts Upstairs Card

£2.25

Appraisal Cunts Upstairs Card   "we would like to point out to you that it's highly unprofessional to refer to us as 'the cunts upstairs' when sending out emails to our client database." "Fair enough, rules are rules." 

Ideas Meeting Card

£2.25

Ideas Meeting Card   "don't think about it, just say it." "Fuck you."   Dream meeting scenario.   Also available as a coaster, travel wallet, poster and notebook. 

Sale!

Still Want Paying Card

£2.25 £1.00

Mr Tourette - Still Want Paying Card   "I still want fucking paying" (Je veux qu’en meme mon putain d’paiement)  

Sale!

What Are You? Card

£2.25 £1.00

Mr Tourette - What Are You? Card   "What are you, some sort of cunt?" (T'es qui toi, une sorte de con?)

Sale!

Buy More Shit Card

£2.25 £1.00

Buy More Shit or We're All Fucked Card   Getting to the core of what 'Keep Calm and Carry On' is really all about.   Also available as a magnet!  

Sale!

Hurricane Card

£2.25 £1.00

Home-clubber - Hurricane Card   "Is that the weather centre? It's my mum's birthday coming up, how much would it cost to have a hurricane named after her? Ideally a category 2 or stronger."   Last editions available. This card will not be reprinted!

Sale!

Family Tree Card

£2.25 £1.00

Home-clubber - Family Tree Card   "I've been researching my family tree on the internet, so far all I've found is a picture of my sister naked with a lorry driver."   Indulge in some genealogy with this Home Clubber greetings card.   Last editions available. This card will not be reprinted!

Sale!

Piss on Barbecue Card

£2.25 £1.00

Cheese & Wine Piss on Barbecue Card   "Has anyone seen Gerry?" "Having a bloody nightmare with the barbecue, every time I turn my back it goes out."  

Executive Burnout Card

£2.25

Executive Burnout Card   "several clients have complained about receiving emails from a 'mistershits@pisscompany.com'." "yeah that'll be me working from home after a few drinks." 

Sale!

Pencil Twitter Card

£2.25 £1.00

Work - Pencil Twitter Card   "have you got a pencil I can borrow?"  "that's brilliant mate, do you mind if I twitter that?"   Know someone who can't get their nose out of Twitter? Signal an intervention with this subtle card.   For the full Work collection click here.

Sale!

Paternity Leave Card

£2.25 £1.00

Work - Paternity Leave Card   "My wife's just had another baby, it's not mine but can I have a couple of weeks off anyway?"   Know someone who's having a kid? Here's a good way to question their child's paternity in a cheerfully-coloured greetings card.   For the full Work collection click here.

Water Cooler Card

£2.25

Water Cooler Card   "Good weekend?" "Yeah I'm still off my fucking tits."   Monday morning work conversations all around the world typified in this Modern Toss card.   Get the Water Cooler cartoon on a magnet, coaster and travel wallet.

Dog at Work Card

£2.25

Work - Dog at Work Card   “you can’t bring a dog into work.” “er hello? He’s not actually working.”   Fair point really.    Also available on a coaster.

Sale!

He Fucked my Wife Card

£2.25 £1.00

Cheese & Wine - He Fucked my Wife Card   "so how do you know Peter?” “he fucked my wife.”

Sale!

Horse Fucking Service Card

£2.25 £1.00

Mr. Tourette - Horse Fucking Service Card   "Ah hello Mr Tourette. I need a sign advertising my exclusive thoroughbred equine stud service. They're all cup winners. That one could fill a coke bottle while I'm talking to you." "Leave it with me." Later... 'HORSE FUCKING SERVICE' "Jeeping shit." "How much for 20 minutes with my pony? It's her birthday."

Sale!

Smoking Aerobics Card

£2.25 £1.00

Smoking Aerobics Card   “That high intensity speed aerobics class you’re advertising, is it smoking or non-smoking? “

Line Manager Card

£2.25

Work - Line Manager Card   "how are you getting on with your new line manager? "he's a fucking cunt."   Got a new boss? Why not buy them a card to welcome them to their new position?  Also available as a coaster. 

Sale!

Health Crisps Card

£2.25 £1.00

Health Crisps Card   "Hello, have you come for your annual check up?" "No, I just wondered if you had any change for the crisp machine."  

Sale!

Sex Tourists Card

£2.25 £1.00

Mr Tourette - Sex Tourists Card   "Aah Mr Tourette, we need a brand new livery for our executive city flier jet service. We're looking for a solution that will work for the international market." "You're talking my language." Later... 'SEX TOURISTS'  "Oh my Christ." "I know what you're thinking, a bit gloomy."

Sale!

Space Argument Card

£2.25 £1.00

Space Argument Card   "Stick this flag in over there."  "You fucking do it."   Space Argument designs are also available on men's t-shirts, posters and signed giclee prints.