Relationships Card Bundle

£8.00

The Modern Toss take on love, marriage, and inevitable divorce. 7 cards for £8! This relationship-themed card multipack includes: Birthday: Borrow 20 Quid Bodywork: You/Me Time Relationships: Salsa Lessons Weddings: Facebook Status Weekend: Fuck Ikea Weekend: Remote Weekend: Test Pot

Invisible Arsehole Card

£2.25

Invisible Arsehole Card   "Your glass of red wine sir" "I'm over here you cunt"

Bodywork Losing Weight Card

£2.25

Bodywork Losing Weight Card   "I've lost quite a bit of weight worrying about not going to the gym"

Awkward Cunt Card

£2.25

Awkward Cunt Card   "can I help you sir?" "I don't fucking know, you tell me"

Weekend Serving Hatch Card

£2.25

Weekend Serving Hatch Card   "got a new serving hatch?" "yeah, Dave did it in the last two hours of DIY week." "I'll finish it off next year yeah."

New Arrival Card

£2.25

New Arrival Card   ''helloooo" "isn't it beautiful" "where's my fucking presents?"

Bodywork Maxi Dress Card

£2.25

Bodywork - Maxi Dress Card   "I'm after matching outfits for a wedding, have you got a maxi dress for a sausage dog?"

High Street Coffee Card

£2.25

  High St   ''Excuse me, is there anywhere round here I can't get a coffee?"

Wine Box Card

£2.25

Wine Box Card   "when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?"

Twitter Symptoms Card

£2.25

Get Well Soon - Twitter Symptoms Card   "yeah I don't know what's wrong with you, but if you like I can bang your symptoms out on Twitter and see what we get back"

Smells Like Money Card

£2.25

Bodywork - Smells Like Money Card   "I need to chill out, got anything that smells like money?"

Fucking Typical Card

£2.25

Fucking Typical Card   "I want a bank loan" "I'm going to have to take a few details down" "tell you what mate fucking swivel on it, no wonder the country's fucked"

Birthday Present Card

Out of Stock

Happy Birthday - Birthday Present Card   "didn't I give this to you for Christmas?" "yeah I didn't like it, happy birthday"

Pocket Money Expenses Card

£2.25

Little Tossers - Expenses Card   "here's your pocket money" "cheers, who do I talk to about expenses?"

Village Cake Off Card

£2.25

Village Cake Off Card   "leave it Steve, so what if he reckons your sponge base was a bit on the moist side"

Motoring Speeding Card

Out of Stock

Motoring Speeding Card   "I'm arresting you for speeding." "sorry mate me eyesight's fucked, I thought that sign said 'drive like a cunt"

Before and After Internet Card

£2.25

Before and After Internet Card   Just look how far we've come. 

Total Disaster Shelf Card

£2.25

Total Fucking Disaster in Shelf Card   Thinking about putting up a shelf? Here's one way not to do it.

Bodywork You/Me Time Card

£2.25

Bodywork You/Me Time Card   “I want to book myself in for some ‘me time’” “we only do ‘you time’ is that gonna be ok?”   Treat yourself by paying a stranger to groom you.

Bodywork Brow Bar Card

£2.25

Bodywork Brow Bar Card   “I’ve got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I’m really interested”   If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.

Weekend Test Pot Card

£2.25

Weekend Test Pot Card   “I fucking hate that colour.”   Welcome someone to their new home with some harsh truths about how they'll be spending their weekends.

Wedding Facebook Card

£2.25

Wedding Facebook Card   “Do you take this man…” “Hang on mate, I’m just updating me relationship status.”   That moment when modern technology makes you want to give up and live in a cave.

Borrow 20 Quid Card

£2.25

Happy Birthday - Borrow 20 Quid Card   "Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?"  "How about if I just keep the 20 quid?"  "That works for me, happy birthday yeah!"   Keep it simple with a gift amnesty.

Book From Grandad Card

£2.25

Book From Grandad Card   "look, Grandad's bought you a book." "how d'you turn it on?"  

Sale!

Filth Addict Card

£2.25 £1.00

Filth Addict Card   Happy birthday to all Grand Designs and pornography enthusiasts.

Crufts Card

£2.25

Crufts Card   "Hello, is that Crufts? Have you got a category for people who look like their dogs?"

Legal Longshots Axe Card

£2.25

Legal Longshots Axe Card   “I was throwing an axe at a window when it smashed right through and fucking killed someone, you’re a lawyer, whose fault is it under those circumstances?”  “I might have to look it up on the internet, but I tell you now I’m going to fight this one all the way, I’m 1000% behind you.”...

Nose Hair Card

£2.25

Nose Hair Card   "I'm going to be late, I'm having a bad nose hair day."

Sale!

Salsa Lessons Card

£2.25 £1.00

Salsa Lessons Card   "Well you wouldn't come to salsa lessons."   Also available as part of a Relationships card bundle. 

Sale!

Craft Course Card

£2.25 £1.00

Home-clubber - Craft Course Card   “I’ve been on a traditional writing course learning how to write a letter with a pen and a piece of paper. All I’ve got to do now is scan it in and e-mail it to someone.”   Home-clubber turns his hand to vintage arts and crafts.

Sale!

Buy More Shit Card

£2.25 £1.00

Buy More Shit or We're All Fucked Card   Getting to the core of what 'Keep Calm and Carry On' is really all about.   Also available as a magnet!  

Sale!

Smoking Aerobics Card

£2.25 £1.00

Smoking Aerobics Card   “That high intensity speed aerobics class you’re advertising, is it smoking or non-smoking? “

Marriage Waste of Space Card

£2.25

Customer Services -  Marriage Waste of Space Card   "This bloke I married in your church turned out to be a fucking waste of space."  "you still got the certificate?"   Getting married? Celebrating an anniversary? Finalising a divorce? This card covers all bases.   Also available as part of a Relationships card bundle.

Sale!

Health Crisps Card

£2.25 £1.00

Health Crisps Card   "Hello, have you come for your annual check up?" "No, I just wondered if you had any change for the crisp machine."  

Sale!

Space Argument Card

£2.25 £1.00

Space Argument Card   "Stick this flag in over there."  "You fucking do it."   Space Argument designs are also available on men's t-shirts, posters and signed giclee prints. 

Fuck Ikea Card

£2.25

Weekend - Fuck Ikea Card   “let’s go to Ikea” “fuck Ikea”   Because going to a furniture store for a meal is just wrong.

Sale!

Weekend Remote Card

£2.25 £1.00

Weekend Remote Card   "Hello?" "Yeah it's me, have you seen the remote control anywhere?"   Modern life at the weekend in an attractive shade of blue.  Buy the coaster, and if you're lucky, someone might make you a cup of tea.