Mother's Day Hurricane Card

£2.50

Mother's Day Hurricane "Is that the weather centre? how much would it cost to have a hurricane named after my mum for Mother's Day? Ideally Category 2 or stronger"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Mother's Day DNA Profile Card

£2.50

Mother's Day DNA Profile "I want to book a full DNA profile to confirm I'm definitely their mother."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Mother's Day A&E Profile Card

£2.50

Mother's Day A&E "This kid you helped me give birth to is a fucking nightmare." "What?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Mother's Day Purse Profile Card

£2.50

Mother's Day Purse "Have you been taking money out of my purse again?" "Definitely not me, last time I looked there was nothing in it"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Bum Look Big Enough Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Bum Look Big Enough Card "Does my bum look big enough in this?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Bodywork Losing Weight Card

£2.50

"I've lost quite a bit of weight worrying about not going to the gym"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Dog Maxi Dress Card

£2.50

"I'm after matching outfits for a wedding, have you got a maxi dress for a sausage dog?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Brow Bar Card

£2.50

"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

Wine Box Card

£2.50

"when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Smells Like Money Card

£2.50

"I need to chill out, got anything that smells like money?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Spa You/Me Time Card

£2.50

'I want to book myself in for some 'me time'' "we only do 'you time' is that ok?'   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

For a Special Lady Card

£2.50

Because the lady loves... fags and wine in bed.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.   

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