Mother's Day DNA Profile Card

£2.25

Mother's Day DNA Profile "I want to book a full DNA profile to confirm I'm definitely their mother."

Mother's Day A&E Profile Card

£2.25

Mother's Day A&E "This kid you helped me give birth to is a fucking nightmare." "What?"

Mother's Day Purse Profile Card

£2.25

Mother's Day Purse "Have you been taking money out of my purse again?" "Definitely not me, last time I looked there was nothing in it"

Bodywork Losing Weight Card

£2.25

"I've lost quite a bit of weight worrying about not going to the gym"

Bodywork Brow Bar Card

£2.25

"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.

Wine Box Card

£2.25

"when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?"

Smells Like Money Card

£2.25

"I need to chill out, got anything that smells like money?"

Bodywork You/Me Time Card

£2.25

'I want to book myself in for some 'me time'' "we only do 'you time' is that ok?'

For a Special Lady Card

£2.25

Because the lady loves... fags and wine in bed.  

Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.25

"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"

Sign Don't Turn Up Card

£2.25

"Do you do a 'Sign Up, Don't Turn Up' Package?"