Mother's Day Hurricane Card

£2.50

Mother's Day Hurricane "Is that the weather centre? how much would it cost to have a hurricane named after my mum for Mother's Day? Ideally Category 2 or stronger"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Mother's Day DNA Profile Card

£2.50

Mother's Day DNA Profile "I want to book a full DNA profile to confirm I'm definitely their mother."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Mother's Day A&E Profile Card

£2.50

Mother's Day A&E "This kid you helped me give birth to is a fucking nightmare." "What?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Mother's Day Purse Profile Card

£2.50

Mother's Day Purse "Have you been taking money out of my purse again?" "Definitely not me, last time I looked there was nothing in it"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Bum Look Big Enough Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Bum Look Big Enough Card "Does my bum look big enough in this?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Bodywork Losing Weight Card

£2.50

"I've lost quite a bit of weight worrying about not going to the gym"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Dog Maxi Dress Card

£2.50

"I'm after matching outfits for a wedding, have you got a maxi dress for a sausage dog?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Brow Bar Card

£2.50

"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

Wine Box Card

£2.50

"when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Smells Like Money Card

£2.50

"I need to chill out, got anything that smells like money?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Spa You/Me Time Card

£2.50

'I want to book myself in for some 'me time'' "we only do 'you time' is that ok?'   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

For a Special Lady Card

£2.50

Because the lady loves... fags and wine in bed.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.   

Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.50

"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Sign Up Don't Turn Up Card

£2.50

"Do you do a 'Sign Up, Don't Turn Up' Package?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Walk in Wardrobe Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Walk in Wardrobe Card "We've had an emergency call from a woman who's lost in a walk in wardrobe?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

'Avin It Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Avin It Card "Mum, grandad's talking about acid house again"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Weekend Too Early Card

£2.50

Is it still slightly too early for a drink?   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Working Day Lie Down Card

£2.50

Working Day too much? Have a drink and a lie down.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Working Day Lie Down Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. NOW AVAILABLE IN A5 AND A6 SIZE - SELECT BELOW Delivered across 96/64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A5/A6 format. "When I get in from work, I like to have a drink and a lie down."

Periodic Table of Swearing Tea Towel

£12.00

Periodic Table of Swearing Tea Towel The only tea-towel that will get you fluent in obscenity as well as drying your dishes. The Periodic Table of Swearing contains over 100 chemical swearing elements, grouped by category.  2 FOR £20 ON ALL MUGS AND TEA TOWELS

Flies of the British Isles Tea Towel

£12.00

  Flies of the British Isles Tea Towel 2 FOR £20 ON ALL MUGS AND TEA TOWELS Wipe the fuck out of your dishes with a Modern Toss tea towel.

Net Orders Checkout

Item Price Qty Total
Subtotal £0.00
Shipping
Total

Shipping Address

Shipping Methods