Apostrophe Business Mug

£12.00

Originally released as a screenprint in 2008, 'Punctuation Networking Event' is now back in mug form!  2 FOR £20 ON ALL MUGS! "How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive, turned out he was after a straight plural."   Comes in a gift...

Can't Be Fucked Mug

£12.00

Originally released as a screenprint in 2008, 'Punctuation Networking Event' is now back in mug form! 2 FOR £20 ON ALL MUGS! "People used to use me to partially obscure swearwords, but it seems like they can't be fucked any more." "Luck of the draw, mate. I was long-term unemployed until some bloke invented email."   Comes in a gift...

Tossary of Terms Book

£9.99

Welcome to Tossary of Terms, the first in an illustrated dictionary series produced by cult cartoonists Modern Toss. This book identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.  The fast changing modern scene chucks up stuff faster than we can nail it down and label it. The...

Buy More Shit Bag

£5.99

Celebrate 10 years since the Stock Market crash and carry your shit around in our newly invigorated Buy More Shit bag - in black! Screen printed 34x38cm long-handled natural cotton bag.

Sale!

Modern Toss Calendar 2019

£9.99 £4.99

  Modern Toss has collaborated with TeNeues to bring a new 30 x 30cm calendar with laugh out loud cartoons for all year round. Share the love of Toss with all friends and family! Please note: these calendars do NOT contain swearing.

Horse Piss Lager

£17.00

ONLINE EXCLUSIVE! Horse Piss Premium Pilsner Lager - 330ml - 4.2% vol - 1.4 UK Units Horse Piss was an instant classic and has been re-sampled for a second batch. The majestic graphics have been shit tweaked for this special occasion (30% bigger horse on the front.) This refreshing pale craft lager is made using the best German malt, hops and yeast...

Work Robot Card

£2.25

"I'm worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects" "Don't panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn't want it"

Work Impressive Reference Card

£2.25

"very impressive reference" "cheers, I wrote that"

Health Monitor Card

£2.25

"how you getting on with your health monitor wristband?" "yeah, I've found I'm getting much better results since I stuck it on the dog"

Work Team Player Card

£2.25

"hi sorry I'm late, I couldn't be fucked to get here any quicker"

Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.25

"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"

Customer Services Piss Myself Card

£2.25

"this drink I bought off you, made me piss myself"

Sign Up Don't Turn Up Card

£2.25

"Do you do a 'Sign Up, Don't Turn Up' Package?"

Work Retox Clinic Card

£2.25

"I can't come back to work this week, I've had to book myself in the retox clinic"

Hacked Bank Account Card

£2.25

"what makes you think your account has been hacked?" "'cos there's some money in it?"

Bullshitters Refreshers Card

£2.25

"I see you took yesterday off for a 'bullshitter's refresher course" "yeah here's my expenses"

Company Calendar Card

£2.25

"what's all these photos of you naked?" "just letting you know what I've got if you need to do a company calendar"

Generation Arsehole GCSE Card

£2.25

"I normally home tutor for maths GCSE" "we just want you to train home not to piss all round the toilet seat"

Punctuation Can't be Fucked Card

£2.25

"People used to use me to partially obscure swearwords, but it seems like they can't be fucked anymore" "luck of the draw mate, I was long term unemployed until some bloke invented email"

Punctuation What Do You Do Card

£2.25

"And what do you do?" "Traditionally, I indicate an elaboration of something that were just before me, but since texting came along I've been doing a lot of work with the old end bracket here" "Yeah we've been run off our feet lately, people can't leave us alone"

Punctuation Apostrophe Business Card

£2.25

"How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive, turned out he was after a straight plural."

Punctuation Speech Marks Card

£2.25

"Not often we get the chance to chat without a load of speech getting in the way" "Actually I'd be better be off, got a last minute job indicating an omitted character in a word somewhere"

Punctuation Paris Hat Card

£2.25

"I love your hat" "thanks, I picked it up in Paris"

Punctuation Legal Problems Card

£2.25

"Better be careful where we stand I dont want any legal problems"