Before and After Internet Card

£2.25

Before and After Internet Card   Just look how far we've come. 

Birthday Day Off Card

£2.25

Work - Birthday Day Off Card   "I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday." "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday."   An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves.   For the full Work collection click...

Bodywork You/Me Time Card

£2.25

Bodywork You/Me Time Card   “I want to book myself in for some ‘me time’” “we only do ‘you time’ is that gonna be ok?”   Treat yourself by paying a stranger to groom you.

Sale!

Buy More Shit Card

£2.25 £1.00

Buy More Shit or We're All Fucked Card   Getting to the core of what 'Keep Calm and Carry On' is really all about.   Also available as a magnet!  

Customer Services Book Card

£2.25

Customer Services Book Card   "This book I bought off you is fucking shit."   The Modern Toss customer services department is highly trained to deal with complaints of this nature.

Sale!

Filth Addict Card

£2.25 £1.00

Filth Addict Card   Happy birthday to all Grand Designs and pornography enthusiasts.

Sale!

Horse Fucking Service Card

£2.25 £1.00

Mr. Tourette - Horse Fucking Service Card   "Ah hello Mr Tourette. I need a sign advertising my exclusive thoroughbred equine stud service. They're all cup winners. That one could fill a coke bottle while I'm talking to you." "Leave it with me." Later... 'HORSE FUCKING SERVICE' "Jeeping shit." "How much for 20 minutes with my pony? It's her birthday."   For the...

Narcissist Boss Card

£2.25

Narcissist Boss Card   “Anyway, cheers for all your hard work and here’s a little something from me.”

Sale!

Piss on Barbecue Card

£2.25 £1.00

Cheese & Wine Piss on Barbecue Card   "Has anyone seen Gerry?" "Having a bloody nightmare with the barbecue, every time I turn my back it goes out."   For the full Cheese & Wine collection click here. 

Play To Win Card

£2.25

Stroller Play To Win Card  "You Play To Win" A Stroller card for the discerning sportsman.

Sale!

Salsa Lessons Card

£2.25 £1.00

Salsa Lessons Card   "Well you wouldn't come to salsa lessons."   Also available as part of a Relationships card bundle. 

Sale!

Space Argument Card

£2.25 £1.00

Space Argument Card   "Stick this flag in over there."  "You fucking do it."   Space Argument designs are also available on men's t-shirts, posters and signed giclee prints. 

Successful Idea Card

£2.25

Desperate Business - Successful Idea Card   "Here's an idea, why don't we just do stuff that's going to be really massively successful?"   Why think outside the box, when you don't have to think at all?   Also available on a notebook, coaster and risograph print. 

Total Disaster Shelf Card

£2.25

Total Fucking Disaster in Shelf Card   Thinking about putting up a shelf? Here's one way not to do it.

Tourette Shit Butler Card

£2.25

Tourette Shit Butler   “ahh Mr Tourette, I need a sign for my van, I offer a dog walking service for people who’ve got a dog but don’t really want one” “get your shit bag out, that one at the front smells like it’s about to pop.”  “how are you getting on? Oh for fucks sake”  “cheers, you might want to...

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