Shitnaks | Modern Toss

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Work Desktop Calendar 2020

£8.99

Work Desktop Calendar 2020 The formidable A5 Desktop Calendar has returned fresh to the Modern Toss shop and is ready to tell you what day it is. This time delivered in a bold magenta. Suitable for your desk, worktop, or wherever the fuck you want. Contains historical dates of birthdays and notable people. A personal favourite: February 03, National Sickie Day. Facetime...

TeNeues Wall Calendar 2020

£10.99

TeNeues Wall Calendar 2020 Stick this big square fucker on your wall and never forget the date again. 300 millimeters square of funny as fuck, non-sweary Toss greatness presented in light-blue fashion. Enough space to scribble words down in the spaces on the dates. Genius, innit? ...

Ideas Meeting Notebook

£4.99

Work Amazing Figures Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Work Amazing Figures Notebook "these end of year figures are amazing" "yeah cheers, I fiddled around with them 'til they were bigger than last year's"

Working Day Lie Down Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Working Day Lie Down Notebook "When I get in from work, I like to have a drink and a lie down."

Work Team Player Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Work Team Player Notebook "hi sorry I'm late, I couldn't be fucked to get here any quicker"

Chill Out Yeah Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Chill Out Yeah Notebook "how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start"

Water Cooler Travel Wallet

£2.99

Early Retirement Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Early Retirement "I'm thinking of taking an early retirement" "how early?" "about 2.30"

Work Robot Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Work Robot Notebook "I'm worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects" "Don't panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn't want it"...

Customer Services Bookmark

£2.99

Can't Be Fucked Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Punctuation Can't Be Fucked Notebook "this spreadsheet of yours doesn't make any sense" "yeah it's bollocks innit"

Ideas Meeting Bookmark

£2.99

Apostrophe Business Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Punctuation Apostrophe Business Notebook "How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive,...

Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Notebook "hello my name's Peter and I'm a fucking arsehole"

Work Biscuits Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Work Biscuits Notebook "right Steve, come on what are you bringing the table?" "I brought the biscuits?"

Grandad Book Bookmark

£2.99

Data Analyst Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Data Analyst Notebook "this spreadsheet of yours doesn't make any sense" "yeah it's bollocks innit"

Sign Up Don't Turn Up Bookmark

£2.99

Brow Bar Bookmark

£2.99

Punctuation Can't Be Fucked Bookmark

£2.99

Punctuation Can't Be Fucked Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'People used to use me to partially obscure swearwords, but it seems like they can't be fucked anymore.' 'Luck of the drawer mate, I was long term unemployed until some block invented email.'

Married an Idiot Postcard

£1.75

Work at Weekend Bookmark

£2.99

Punctuation What Do You Do Bookmark

£2.99

Punctuation What Do You Do Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'And what do you do?' 'Traditionally, I indicate an elaboration of something that went just before me, but since texting came along I've been doing a lot of work with the old end bracket here.' 'Yeah we've been run off our feet lately, people can't leave us alone.'

Postcard Bundle

£18.00

Staying Together Postcard

£1.75

Play to Win Postcard

£1.75

Punctuation Paris Hat Bookmark

£2.99

Paris Hat Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Punctuation Paris Hat Notebook "I love your hat" "thanks, I picked it up in Paris"

Pencil Twitter Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Pencil Twitter Notebook "have you got a pencil I can borrow?" "that's brilliant mate, do you mind if I twitter that?"

Moody Cunt Postcard

£1.75

Clear Up The Pisspots Postcard

£1.75

Kick Back Postcard

£1.75

Lawnmower Secret Admirer Postcard

£1.75

Ironing Secret Admirer Postcard

£1.75

Do What You Want Postcard

£1.75

Dirty Old Fucker Postcard

£1.75

Lesbian Wife Postcard

£1.75

Go For It Postcard

£1.75

Visualize Your Goal Postcard

£1.75

Punctuation Legal Problems Bookmark

£2.99

Periodic Table Mug

£12.00

Work Fuck Off Mug

£12.00

Ideas Meeting Coaster

£2.99

Periodic Table of Swearing Tea Towel

£12.00

Ideas Meeting Mug

£12.00

Seasonal Bollock Stick

£9.99

A build-your-own die-cut desktop Christmas tree featuring Alan as a festive tree topper. Stands at 28cm high. Festive, yeah? See the Seasonal Bollock Stick rotate through 360 degrees in this exclusive video. Requires minimal construction skills - watch the how-to video here. Dimensions: Packaged: 28.5cm x 19cm Assembled: 28cm x 17cm x 8cm

Rainbow Shit Scribblers

£10.99

Double Ender Rainbow Shit Scribbler Set The first major breakthrough in pencil technology for many decades. Our ‘Double Ender Rainbow Shit Scribblers’ come in a pack of 12; that’s 24 colours, each with their own unique descriptive name such as: Universal Urine, Colon Sunset, and Supermarket Mince.

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