Work Desktop Calendar 2020

£8.99

Work Desktop Calendar 2020 The formidable A5 Desktop Calendar has returned fresh to the Modern Toss shop and is ready to tell you what day it is. This time delivered in a bold magenta. Suitable for your desk, worktop, or wherever the fuck you want. Contains historical dates of birthdays and notable people. A personal favourite: February 03, National Sickie Day. Facetime...

TeNeues Wall Calendar 2020

£10.99

TeNeues Wall Calendar 2020 Stick this big square fucker on your wall and never forget the date again. 300 millimeters square of funny as fuck, non-sweary Toss greatness presented in light-blue fashion. Enough space to scribble words down in the spaces on the dates. Genius, innit?                              ...

Ideas Meeting Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Ideas Meeting Notebook "don't think about it just say it" "fuck you"

Work Amazing Figures Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Work Amazing Figures Notebook "these end of year figures are amazing" "yeah cheers, I fiddled around with them 'til they were bigger than last year's"

Working Day Lie Down Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Working Day Lie Down Notebook "When I get in from work, I like to have a drink and a lie down."

Work Team Player Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Work Team Player Notebook "hi sorry I'm late, I couldn't be fucked to get here any quicker"

Chill Out Yeah Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Chill Out Yeah Notebook "how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start"

Water Cooler Travel Wallet

£2.99

"Good weekend?" "Yeah I'm still off my fucking tits" Nurse a Monday hangover on your commute with this handy travel wallet.  

Early Retirement Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Early Retirement "I'm thinking of taking an early retirement" "how early?" "about 2.30"

Work Robot Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Work Robot Notebook "I'm worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects" "Don't panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn't want it"...

Customer Services Bookmark

£2.99

Customer Services Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'this book I bought off you, is fucking shit'

Can't Be Fucked Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Punctuation Can't Be Fucked Notebook "this spreadsheet of yours doesn't make any sense" "yeah it's bollocks innit"

Ideas Meeting Bookmark

£2.99

Ideas Meeting Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'don't think about it, just say it!' 'fuck you'

Apostrophe Business Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Punctuation Apostrophe Business Notebook "How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive,...

Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Notebook "hello my name's Peter and I'm a fucking arsehole"

Work Biscuits Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Work Biscuits Notebook "right Steve, come on what are you bringing the table?" "I brought the biscuits?"

Grandad Book Bookmark

£2.99

Grandad Book Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'look Grandad's bought you a book' 'how'd you turn it on?'

Data Analyst Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Data Analyst Notebook "this spreadsheet of yours doesn't make any sense" "yeah it's bollocks innit"

Sign Up Don't Turn Up Bookmark

£2.99

Sign Up Don't Turn Up Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'Do you do a 'Sign Up, Don't Turn Up' package?'

Brow Bar Bookmark

£2.99

Brow Bar Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look I'm really interested'

Punctuation Can't Be Fucked Bookmark

£2.99

Punctuation Can't Be Fucked Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'People used to use me to partially obscure swearwords, but it seems like they can't be fucked anymore.' 'Luck of the drawer mate, I was long term unemployed until some block invented email.'

Married an Idiot Postcard

£1.75

Married an Idiot Postcard An individual A6 postcard printed on high quality card. Part of a complete, shit-yourself-laughing postcard range.

Work at Weekend Bookmark

£2.99

Work at Weekend Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'can you come in at the weekend?' 'I'll come in but I'm not fucking doing anything'

Punctuation What Do You Do Bookmark

£2.99

Punctuation What Do You Do Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'And what do you do?' 'Traditionally, I indicate an elaboration of something that went just before me, but since texting came along I've been doing a lot of work with the old end bracket here.' 'Yeah we've been run off our feet lately, people can't leave us alone.'

Postcard Bundle

£18.00

Postcard Bundle All 13 Postcards whacked into a bundle. Save a few quid as well yeah?

Staying Together Postcard

£1.75

Staying Together Postcard An individual A6 postcard printed on high quality card. Part of a complete, shit-yourself-laughing postcard range.

Play to Win Postcard

£1.75

Play to Win Postcard An individual A6 postcard printed on high quality card. Part of a complete, shit-yourself-laughing postcard range.

Punctuation Paris Hat Bookmark

£2.99

Punctuation Paris Hat Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'I love your hat.' 'Thanks, I picked it up in Paris.' 'Any food left? I always turn up at the end?'

Paris Hat Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Punctuation Paris Hat Notebook "I love your hat" "thanks, I picked it up in Paris"  

Pencil Twitter Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Pencil Twitter Notebook "have you got a pencil I can borrow?" "that's brilliant mate, do you mind if I twitter that?"

Moody Cunt Postcard

£1.75

Moody Cunt Postcard An individual A6 postcard printed on high quality card. Part of a complete, shit-yourself-laughing postcard range.

Clear Up The Pisspots Postcard

£1.75

Clear Up The Pisspots Postcard An individual A6 postcard printed on high quality card. Part of a complete, shit-yourself-laughing postcard range.

Kick Back Postcard

£1.75

Kick Back Postcard An individual A6 postcard printed on high quality card. Part of a complete, shit-yourself-laughing postcard range.

Lawnmower Secret Admirer Postcard

£1.75

Lawnmower Secret Admirer Postcard An individual A6 postcard printed on high quality card. Part of a complete, shit-yourself-laughing postcard range.

Ironing Secret Admirer Postcard

£1.75

Ironing Secret Admirer Postcard An individual A6 postcard printed on high quality card. Part of a complete, shit-yourself-laughing postcard range.

Do What You Want Postcard

£1.75

Do What You Want Postcard An individual A6 postcard printed on high quality card. Part of a complete, shit-yourself-laughing postcard range.

Dirty Old Fucker Postcard

£1.75

Dirty Old Fucker Postcard An individual A6 postcard printed on high quality card. Part of a complete, shit-yourself-laughing postcard range.

Lesbian Wife Postcard

£1.75

Lesbian Wife Postcard An individual A6 postcard printed on high quality card. Part of a complete, shit-yourself-laughing postcard range.

Go For It Postcard

£1.75

Go For It Postcard An individual A6 postcard printed on high quality card. Part of a complete, shit-yourself-laughing postcard range.

Visualize Your Goal Postcard

£1.75

Visualize Your Goal Postcard An individual A6 postcard printed on high quality card. Part of a complete, shit-yourself-laughing postcard range.

Punctuation Legal Problems Bookmark

£2.99

Punctuation Legal Problems Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'Better be careful where we stand I don't want any legal problems.'

Periodic Table Mug

£12.00

The Periodic Table of Swearing contains a comprehensive selection of the finest swearing insults and is now available on a mug for passive-aggressive tea drinking. Modern Toss gift box included. Dishwasher and microwave safe.

Work Fuck Off Mug

£12.00

“I can’t come in today, so fuck off.”   Comes with a gift box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter. 

Ideas Meeting Coaster

£2.99

"don't think about it, just say it" "fuck you"  

Periodic Table of Swearing Tea Towel

£12.00

Periodic Table of Swearing Tea Towel The only tea-towel that will get you fluent in obscenity as well as drying your dishes. The Periodic Table of Swearing contains over 100 chemical swearing elements, grouped by category. 

Ideas Meeting Mug

£12.00

"don't think about it, just say it" "fuck you"   Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter.

Seasonal Bollock Stick

£9.99

A build-your-own die-cut desktop Christmas tree featuring Alan as a festive tree topper. Stands at 28cm high. Festive, yeah? See the Seasonal Bollock Stick rotate through 360 degrees in this exclusive video. Requires minimal construction skills - watch the how-to video here. Dimensions: Packaged: 28.5cm x 19cm Assembled: 28cm x 17cm x 8cm

Rainbow Shit Scribblers

£10.99

Double Ender Rainbow Shit Scribbler Set The first major breakthrough in pencil technology for many decades. Our ‘Double Ender Rainbow Shit Scribblers’ come in a pack of 12; that’s 24 colours, each with their own unique descriptive name such as: Universal Urine, Colon Sunset, and Supermarket Mince.

Line Manager Coaster

£2.99

“how are you getting on with your new line manager?” “he’s a fucking cunt.”

Bored as Arseholes Coaster

£2.99

"I see from your afternoon tweet that you’re 'bored as fucking arseholes" “yeah cheers, I didn’t know you were following me”  

Work at Weekend Mug

£12.00

"can you come in at the weekend?" "I'll come in but I'm not fucking doing anything."   Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter.

Dog at Work Coaster

£2.99

"you can't bring a dog into work." "er hello? he's not actually working."  

Periodic Mug & Coaster Set

£13.50

Periodic Mug & Coaster Set Maximise your swearing options with this Periodic of Table Swearing Mug and coaster combo.  Choose any coaster from the drop-down list to match your Periodic mug. Coaster dimensions: 10cm x 10cm Square Mug dimensions: 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter. Gift-boxed. Dishwasher and microwave safe.

Successful Idea Coaster

£2.99

“Here’s an idea, why don’t we just do stuff that’s really massively successful?”  

Data Analyst Coaster

£2.99

"this spreadsheet of yours doesn't appear to make any sense" "yeah it's bollocks innit"  

Water Cooler Coaster

£2.99

"good weekend?" "yeah, I'm still off my fucking tits."  

Work Fuck Off Coaster

£2.99

"I can't come in today so fuck off."  

Work from Home Coaster

£2.99

"we've decided we'd like you to work from home, preferably for someone else."  

Periodic Table of Swearing Magnet Set

£9.99

The Periodic Table of Swearing is an acknowledged 21st century design classic and now, thanks to technological advances, is available to stick on your fridge or any other metallic surface. With over 100 full colour individual swear magnets, you'll never be stuck for the right bit of swearing to shout at your fridge again! Magnet sheet dimensions 164mm x 260mm....

Ideas Mug & Coaster Set

£13.50

Ideas Mug & Coaster Set Mug it up with some inspirational work shit-naks yeah? Nice one. Choose any coaster from the drop-down list to go with your Ideas Meeting mug. Mug dimensions: 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter. Gift-boxed. Dishwasher and microwave safe. Coaster dimensions: 10cm x 10cm Square

Apostrophe Business Mug

£12.00

Originally released as a screenprint in 2008, 'Punctuation Networking Event' is now back in mug form! "How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive, turned out he was after a straight plural."   Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm...

Work Biscuits Coaster

£2.99

"right Steve, come on what are you bringing to the table?" "I brought the biscuits?"  

Can't Be Fucked Mug

£12.00

Originally released as a screenprint in 2008, 'Punctuation Networking Event' is now back in mug form! "People used to use me to partially obscure swearwords, but it seems like they can't be fucked any more." "Luck of the draw, mate. I was long-term unemployed until some bloke invented email."   Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm...

Stroller Postcard Set

£9.99

Stroller Postcard Set Ever thought about sending your boss a postcard featuring him being serviced from behind by a cart horse? Well you can now, thanks to this surreal and highly collectable Stroller postcard set. Stick ‘em on your wall or reach out and touch a friend with this selection of beautifully-crafted designs celebrating some totally unique and magic moments....

Ideas Meeting Travel Wallet

£2.99

"don't think about it, just say it" "fuck you" A classic Work cartoon to inspire you on your morning commute.  

Weekend Test Pot Coaster

£2.99

"I fucking hate that colour."  

Company Calendar Card

£2.25

"what's all these photos of you naked?" "just letting you know what I've got if you need to do a company calendar"

Fuck Work Mug & Coaster Set

£13.50

Something to drink your tea out of and somewhere to put it in between sips yeah? Classic combo! Choose any square coaster from the drop-down list to go with your Work Fuck Off Mug. Coaster dimensions:10cm x 10cm Square Mug dimensions: 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter. Gift-boxed. Dishwasher and microwave safe.

Work Fuck Off Magnet

£2.99

"I can't come in today so fuck off." Refer to this fridge magnet whenever you need a day off work.  

Water Cooler Magnet

£2.99

"Good weekend?" "Yeah, I'm still off my fucking tits." A typical Monday morning work cartoon slapped onto a magnet for your enjoyment. Stick it somewhere metal yeah? That's how magnets work.

Special Lady Magnet

£2.99

Show your special lady just how much you appreciate her with a fridge magnet. That'll do, won't it? She likes magnets. She can stick it on the fridge.  

Work Weekend Mug & Coaster Set

£13.50

Keep ahold of your overtime rage with some calming work shit-naks. Choose any square coaster from the drop-down list to go with your Work at the Weekend Mug. Coaster dimensions:10cm x 10cm Square Mug dimensions:9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter. Gift-boxed. Dishwasher and microwave safe.

Successful Idea Travel Wallet

£2.99

"Here's an idea, why don't we just do stuff that's going to be really massively successful?"  

Successful Idea Magnet

£2.99

"Here's an idea, why don't we just do stuff that's going to be really massively successful?"

Work Fuck Off Travel Wallet

£2.99

Work Fuck Off Travel Wallet "I can't come in today so fuck off"

Smug Goblet Card

£2.25

Tossary of Terms card range - Smug Goblet Card The Tossary of Terms identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. 

Periodic Table A5 Notebook

£8.99

Periodic Table of Swearing Notebook One of the 21st century's most cutting edge designs has been stuck on the cover of a notebook. The Periodic Table of Swearing contains over 100 swear elements including personal favourites, 'Stinks Like Piss', 'Who's The Prat In The Corner' and 'Stupid Cunt.' Perfect for taking notes in class or at work, while sneakily swearing...