Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.50

"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Chill Out Yeah Card

£2.50

"how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Couch to 5k Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards...  "yeah, I'm thinking of doing the couch to 5k programme? Can I take a look at your couches?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Wine Box Card

£2.50

"when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Dogs Pet Shop Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Dogs Pet Shop Card "and this is our most domesticated breed" "before I go anywhere, ask them how fast their broadband speed is at home"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Perfume Buyer Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Perfume Buyer Card "I'm after some perfume but I don't know what it's called, it's the one with an advert where a bloke kicks a wall down and tells some people to go away, then I'm pretty sure he rides off on a horse while a woman has an argument with an eagle in French and...

Customer Services Piss Myself Card

£2.50

"this drink I bought off you, made me piss myself"

Customer Services Dept Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards...  Customer Services Department Card "Have we got a customer services department?" "Just hang on, they normally stop phoning after a bit"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Fuck Ikea Card

£2.50

"let's go to Ikea" "fuck Ikea" Because going to a furniture store for a meal is just wrong.

Hacked Bank Account Card

£2.50

"what makes you think your account has been hacked?" "'cos there's some money in it?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Sale!

Money Saving Expert Card

£2.50 £1.50

"I only use it to save a few quid buying my groceries back in the 70's"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Sale!

Weekend Test Pot Card

£2.50 £1.25

"I fucking hate that colour" Welcome someone to their new home with?some harsh truths about how they'll be spending their weekends   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Interest Rates Card

£2.50

"So, what do you think will happen to the interest rate?" "I couldn't give a flying fuck"  

Walk in Wardrobe Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Walk in Wardrobe Card "We've had an emergency call from a woman who's lost in a walk in wardrobe?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Customer Feedback Card

£2.50

"great to get all this feedback off our new customer forum" "yeah I had no idea we were such a shit company"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.   

Bum Look Big Enough Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Bum Look Big Enough Card "Does my bum look big enough in this?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sale!

Book is Shit Card

£2.50 £1.50

"This book I bought off you is fucking shit" The Modern Toss customer services department is highly trained to deal with complaints of this nature.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Drive-By Shopper Card

£2.50

Drive-By The Shopper Card Introducing our new Drive-By Abuser card collection... "whack it on the plastic!" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sale!

Buy More Shit Card

£2.50 £1.50

Buy More Shit or We're all Fucked First created following the 2008 banking crash, we didn't expect our Buy More Shit or We're All Fucked stuff to still be relevant but here we are.... Spread the word with this greeting card. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

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