2001 Space Argument

Out of Stock

2001 Space Argument Giclee Print “does that look like the fucking moon?” “it’s a bit hot, can you turn the fan on?” Signed Giclee print. Limited blind stamped edition of 100.Dimensions: 42cm x 59.4cm. Delivered in flat package to size of print.  

2001 Space Argument T-Shirt

£25.00

2001: A Space Argument T-Shirt “Does that look like the fucking moon?” “It’s a bit hot, can you turn the fan on?”    Available in Small (50cm), Medium (53cm), Large (56cm), Extra Large (60cm). 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.

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2017 Work Calendar

£10.99 £3.99

NEW! Work Calendar 2017 A large square 2017 wall calendar. Featuring 12 hilarious Work cartoons and essential dates throughout the year, such as: that time Keith Richards fell out of a tree in Fiji, when the clocks go back (so you can take a sickie from jet-lag), and the date Ronnie Pickering said: "Do you know who I am? I'm Ronnie fucking Pickering."...

6 Months Off Card

£2.25

Health - 6 Months Off Card   "What illnesses would you recommend for getting 6 months or longer off work?"   A get well soon card or an 'I hate work' card that will either cheer the recipient up or make them cry. Or both. We can't take responsibility for that sort of thing.

Alan T-Shirt

£25.00

Alan T-shirt What's he running from? Where's he running to? All we know is somewhere, someone's shouting "you wanker!" at him.   Available in Small (50cm), Medium (53cm), Large (56cm) and Extra Large (60cm) 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.  

Appraisal Cunts Upstairs Card

£2.25

Appraisal Cunts Upstairs Card   "we would like to point out to you that it's highly unprofessional to refer to us as 'the cunts upstairs' when sending out emails to our client database." "Fair enough, rules are rules." 

Beer In Bed Card

£2.25

Beer in Bed Card   "On Your Special Day"   Celebrate someone's birthday by bringing them a beer in bed. And this Stroller card. Sorted.

Before and After Internet Card

£2.25

Before and After Internet Card   Just look how far we've come. 

Bespoke Comic Poster

£25.00

Bespoke Comic Poster (Unsigned) Size A4 (297mm x 210mm) - £25 Size A3 (297mm x 420mm) - £30  Size A2 (420mm x 594mm - £40 Size A1 (594mm x 841mm)  - £70 Size A0 (841mm x 1189mm) - £100   Get any cartoon from The Guardian, Private Eye or one of our Cartoons blown up. Just enter your choice of cartoon...

Best of Work Book

£8.99

Best of Work Book Eighty pages of bang-on-the-nose cartoons set in the contemporary workplace, featuring the very best from the Modern Toss Work cartoon collection. An indispensable manual of job jokes, whether you've got a job, lost a job, or are just sitting around thinking about getting one. Includes Work cartoons as well as choice selections from the comics, the More Work book, and the...

Birthday Day Off Card

£2.25

Work - Birthday Day Off Card   "I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday." "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday."   An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves.   For the full Work collection click...

Birthday Present Card

£2.25

Happy Birthday - Birthday Present Card   "didn't I give this to you for Christmas?" "yeah I didn't like it, happy birthday"

Bit More Specific T-Shirt

£25.00

Mr Tourette - Bit More Specific T-Shirt You’re going to have to be a bit more specific, yeah?   Available in Small (50cm), Medium (53cm), Large (56cm), Extra Large (60cm). 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.  

Bodywork Brow Bar Card

£2.25

Bodywork Brow Bar Card   “I’ve got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I’m really interested”   If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.

Bodywork You/Me Time Card

£2.25

Bodywork You/Me Time Card   “I want to book myself in for some ‘me time’” “we only do ‘you time’ is that gonna be ok?”   Treat yourself by paying a stranger to groom you.

Book From Grandad Card

£2.25

Book From Grandad Card   "look, Grandad's bought you a book." "how d'you turn it on?"  

Bored As Arseholes Card

£2.25

Work - Bored As Arseholes Card   "I see from your afternoon tweet that you're bored as fucking arseholes." "yeah cheers, I didn't know you were following me."    Also available as a coaster. 

Bored as Arseholes Coaster

£2.99

Bored as Arseholes Coaster "I see from your afternoon tweet that you’re 'bored as fucking arseholes" “yeah cheers, I didn’t know you were following me”   Also available as a greetings card.

Borrow 20 Quid Card

£2.25

Happy Birthday - Borrow 20 Quid Card   "Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?"  "How about if I just keep the 20 quid?"  "That works for me, happy birthday yeah!"   Keep it simple with a gift amnesty.

Brighton Fringe 2004

£110.00

Brighton Fringe 2004 Giclee Print This was the cover of the Brighton Festival Fringe brochure in 2004. “what it is?”“it’s a seagull, I did it with a spade” Signed giclee print. Limited blind stamped edition of 100. Dimensions: 42cm x 59.4cm.  

Busiest Week Card

£2.25

Work - Busiest Week Card   "I see you've applied for time off during our busiest week." "yeah, hopefully you'll have everything done by the time I get back."   A productivity-boosting work-themed greetings card for the lazy tosser in your life.    For the full Work collection click here.

C&W Sign Riso Print

£55.00

Cheese & Wine Sign Risograph "have you heard about Peter's new car?" "no have you read my sign?"   One of 100 limited edition signed risograph prints as seen in the 2014 'Decade in the Shithouse' exhibition. Dimensions: 297mm x 420mm (A3)

C'est la Merde T-Shirt

£25.00

Le Travail C'est La Merde T-Shirt (Work is Shit)    Available in Small (50cm), Medium (53cm), Large (56cm), Extra Large (60cm). 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.  

Cambridge Card

£2.25

Desperate Business - Cambridge Card   "and I see here you went to Cambridge." "yeah I had to drop something off for someone. I was back by half six."   Perfect your interview technique with this Desperate Business greetings card.   For the full Desperate Business collection click here.  

Cash Rapists Card

£2.25

Mr Tourette - Cash Rapists Card   “Hello Mr Tourette, I run a complex financial services company previously known as a bank. Due to the fact we’ve fucked it right up we need a new logo so no-one knows who we are.” “Sounds piss easy, I’ll see what letters I’ve got lying around in the van.”  later…  “Yeah I thought...

Commuter Mood Card

£2.25

Mr Tourette - Commuter Mood Card   “Oh hello Mr Tourette, I need a new logo for my train company, to distract the passengers from the fact that’s it’s fucking shit.”   “I’ve had a go on one of those in the transport museum.”   'THE CRAWLING SHIT WEASEL WITH BROKEN PISS CUPBOARD'   “I’m not sure about the font...

Company Policy Card

£2.25

Work - Company Policy Card   "What's the company policy on wearing a t-shirt with 'cunt' written on it?"   A 'congratulations on your new job' card for that friend or relative who will probably get fired within a month.    For the full Work collection click here.

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Craft Course Card

£2.25 £1.00

Home-clubber - Craft Course Card   “I’ve been on a traditional writing course learning how to write a letter with a pen and a piece of paper. All I’ve got to do now is scan it in and e-mail it to someone.”   Home-clubber turns his hand to vintage arts and crafts.

Crufts Card

£2.25

Crufts Card   "Hello, is that Crufts? Have you got a category for people who look like their dogs?"

Customer Feedback Card

£2.25

Work - Customer Feedback Card   "great to get all this feedback off our new customer forum." "yeah I had no idea we were such a shit company."   For the full Work collection click here. 

Customer Feedback Riso Print

£55.00

Work - Customer Feedback Risograph "great to get all this feedback off our new customer forum." "yeah I had no idea we were such a shit company."   One of 100 limited edition signed risograph prints as seen in the 2014 'Decade in the Shithouse' exhibition. Dimensions: 297mm x 420mm (A3) 

Customer Services Book Card

£2.25

Customer Services Book Card   "This book I bought off you is fucking shit."   The Modern Toss customer services department is highly trained to deal with complaints of this nature.

Customer Services Kitchen Riso Print

£55.00

Customer Services Kitchen Riso Print "this kitchen I bought off you, has given me manic depression."   One of 100 limited edition signed risograph prints as seen in the 2014 'Decade in the Shithouse' exhibition. Dimensions: 297mm x 420mm (A3)  

Customer Services Pants Riso Print

£55.00

Customer Services Pants Riso Print "these pants I bought off you, there's shit in them, but it's not mine, how do I stand legally?"   One of 100 limited edition signed risograph prints as seen in the 2014 'Decade in the Shithouse' exhibition. Dimensions: 297mm x 420mm (A3)  

Data Analyst Card

£2.25

Data Analyst Card   "this spreadsheet of yours doesn't appear to make any sense" "yeah it's bollocks innit"  

Decade Book

£28.00

A Decade in the Shithouse - 2nd Edition   'The Best Book Ever' -  The Sunday Times Style Magazine 'You will shit yourself laughing.' - The Idler 'Already a contemporary cartoon classic.' - The Guardian 'No one captures the frustrations of modern British life more acutely, or scurrilously, than Modern Toss.' - The Independent   This incredible collection documents the Modern...

Dirty Old Fucker Card

£2.25

Dirty Old Fucker Card   "Happy Birthday You Dirty Old Fucker"

Do What You Want Card

£2.25

Do What You Fucking Want Card "It's Your Special Day -  Do What You Fucking Want With it Yeah" A Stroller greetings card that captures the true spirit of celebration days: watching TV and doing fuck-all.

Dog at Work Card

£2.25

Work - Dog at Work Card   “you can’t bring a dog into work.” “er hello? He’s not actually working.”   Fair point really.    Also available on a coaster.

Dog at Work Coaster

£2.99

Dog at Work Coaster "you can't bring a dog into work." "er hello? He's not actually working."   This design is also available on a greetings card.

Drive-By Abuser Postcard Set

£10.99

NEW! Drive-By Abuser Postcard Set With a brain so sharp you can almost hear it thinking, the scooter-bound Drive-by Abuser will happily tackle any subject in the world and make some sense of it for you. Wearing a hat, climbing a mountain, the social status of brie on the cheese scene – he’s had a crack at all of them....

Early Retirement Card

£2.25

Work - Early Retirement Card   "I'm thinking of taking early retirement." "how early?" "about 2.30."   For the full Work collection click here. 

Executive Burnout Card

£2.25

Executive Burnout Card   "several clients have complained about receiving emails from a 'mistershits@pisscompany.com'." "yeah that'll be me working from home after a few drinks." 

Executive Work Bored Wallet

£4.99

Executive Work Bored Wallet This executive-style padded travel wallet comes with a handy excuse for quitting work early:  "I'm a bit bored, I think I'll go home."   Dimensions:  99mm x 70mm Materials: PVU Leather with Silver Embossed cartoon.

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Family Tree Card

£2.25 £1.00

Home-clubber - Family Tree Card   "I've been researching my family tree on the internet, so far all I've found is a picture of my sister naked with a lorry driver."   Indulge in some genealogy with this Home Clubber greetings card.   Last editions available. This card will not be reprinted!

Sale!

Filth Addict Card

£2.25 £1.00

Filth Addict Card   Happy birthday to all Grand Designs and pornography enthusiasts.

For a Special Lady Card

£2.25

For a Special Lady Card   Because the lady loves... fags and wine in bed. The Special Lady design is also available as a coaster or a fridge magnet.

Fuck Ikea Card

£2.25

Weekend - Fuck Ikea Card   “let’s go to Ikea” “fuck Ikea”   Because going to a furniture store for a meal is just wrong.

Fucking Typical Card

£2.25

Fucking Typical Card   "I want a bank loan" "I'm going to have to take a few details down" "tell you what mate fucking swivel on it, no wonder the country's fucked"

Fucking Typical Riso Print

£55.00

Fucking Typical Riso Print "I want a bank loan." "I'm going to have to take a few details down." "tell you what mate fucking swivel on it, no wonder the country's fucked."   One of 100 limited edition signed risograph prints as seen in the 2014 'Decade in the Shithouse' exhibition. Dimensions: 297mm x 420mm (A3)

Go For It Yeah Card

£2.25

Go For It Yeah Card "Happy Birthday - Go For It Yeah!" Boost a friend's body image with this encouraging Stroller birthday card.

Headphones Meeting Card

£2.25

Headphones Meeting Card    "So there you have it, any questions?" "Run through that again will you, I had my headphones on"

Housefly Identification Chart

£110.00

Housefly Identification Chart Last of the Edition!   Which fly are you? Winged Shitter, Ray Smears or Midnight Sleep Fucker? Signed giclee print. Blind stamped limited edition of 100. Dimensions: 70cm x 35cm   Delivered in flat package to size of print.

Ideas Meeting Card

£2.25

Ideas Meeting Card   "don't think about it, just say it." "Fuck you."   Dream meeting scenario.   Also available as a coaster, travel wallet, poster and notebook. 

Ideas Meeting Coaster

£2.99

Ideas Meeting Coaster "don't think about it, just say it" "fuck you"   An inspiring coaster to get you ready for that Monday morning meeting. For the full Ideas Meeting collection click here.

Ideas Meeting Magnet

£2.99

Ideas Meeting Magnet Stretch your creativity to the limit and get that bonus.  You can also get the Ideas Meeting cartoon on a greetings card, coaster, travel wallet or T-shirt. 

Ideas Meeting Mug

£9.99

Idea Meeting Mug   "don't think about it, just say it." "fuck you."   Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter.   Available in a set with the Work at Weekend Mug here. The Ideas Meeting cartoon can also be found as a greetings card, poster, magnet and much more here.

Ideas Meeting Poster

£8.50

Ideas Meeting Poster "don't think about it, just say it." "fuck you."   This classic cartoon is now available as an inspirational poster to hang in your office meeting room.  Poster size is A2.   Check out other Ideas Meeting products here!  

Ideas Meeting Travel Wallet

Out of Stock

Ideas Meeting Travel Wallet “don’t think about it, just say it” “fuck you”   A classic Work cartoon to inspire you on your morning commute.  This design is also available on other products, check them out here.

Ikea Mug

£9.99

"Let's go to Ikea." "Fuck Ikea."   Choose tea, not meatballs yeah?   Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter.   The Fuck Ikea cartoon can also be found on a greetings card and a coaster. Special offer: buy the Ikea and Work mugs as a set for £16.50!

Interest Rates Card

£2.25

Cheese and Wine Interest Rates Card   “So, what do you think will happen to the interest rate?” “I couldn’t give a flying fuck”   For the full Cheese & Wine collection click here.

Interview Texting Card

£2.25

Interview - Texting Card   “Yeah, carry on talking mate, I’ve just got to bang out a couple of texts.”   Good luck with that interview yeah? See you down the job centre.

Key Strategy Meeting Card

£2.25

Key Strategy Meeting Card   “first item, Peter would like to apologise for his absence, says he couldn’t be fucked.” Hone your business marketing plan with this inspiring card. Or not, if you can't really be arsed. Either is good.

Lap Dancing Card

£2.25

Interview - Lap Dancing Card   “Ahh now I see from your CV you’ve got tap dancing down as a hobby.” “Yeah that’s actually lap dancing, I can’t type for shit.”   First rule of interviews: focus on your strengths. An inspiring card for jobseekers.

Legal Longshots Axe Card

£2.25

Legal Longshots Axe Card   “I was throwing an axe at a window when it smashed right through and fucking killed someone, you’re a lawyer, whose fault is it under those circumstances?”  “I might have to look it up on the internet, but I tell you now I’m going to fight this one all the way, I’m 1000% behind you.”...

Line Manager Card

£2.25

Work - Line Manager Card   "how are you getting on with your new line manager? "he's a fucking cunt."   Got a new boss? Why not buy them a card to welcome them to their new position?  Also available as a coaster. 

Line Manager Coaster

£2.99

Line Manager Coaster “how are you getting on with your new line manager?” “he’s a fucking cunt.”   This design is also available on a greetings card. 

Maverick Boss Card

£2.25

Maverick Boss Card   “Jean, choose someone at random and send them in please.”

Minding My Business Card

£2.25

Cheese & Wine - Minding My Business Card   "What are you up to at the moment?" "Minding my own fucking business."   For the full Cheese & Wine collection click here.

Mindless Violence Colouring Book

£10.99

Mindless Violence Colouring Book Achieve a mindful state as you colour in these adrenaline-soaked scenes of mindless violence, created for you by a dedicated team of plain clothes therapists. Experience an overwhelming sense of inner peace as you immerse yourself and your pencils in a world of detail and surprises, including: a man bending a lamppost; a woman setting about a fruit tree with a...

Modern Toss Comic - Issue 5

£5.99

Modern Toss Comic - Issue 5 Issue 5 of the Modern Toss comic - full of classic foul-mouthed cartoons and cult favourites like Mr Tourette master signwriter, Home Clubber, Cheese & Wine, and Desperate Business. Described as 'irresistibly nihilistic' by The Daily Telegraph who should fucking know a thing or two about that.   

Modern Toss Comic - Issue 6

£5.99

Modern Toss Comic - Issue 6 Modern Toss Issue 6 - the comic equivalent of poking modern life with a sharp stick. This paperback collection features Modern Toss classics such as Mr Tourette, Fly Talk, and Alan, along with previously unseen strips like Experimental Greetings Cards.

Modern Toss Comic - Issue 7

£5.99

Modern Toss Comic - Issue 7 The seventh comic in a highly irregular series banged out by cult cartoon swear masters Modern Toss. Featuring all your favourites in it, including pathological party chit chat from Cheese & Wine, Mr Tourette's unique take on cupcake entrepreneurs, and demented scamp Alan who, this time round, empties an improvised shitpipe on an arts festival....

Modern Toss Comic - Issue 8

£5.99

Modern Toss Comic - Issue 8 ‘Route One Bollocks’ is the eighth Modern Toss comic, with a classic Neapolitan ice cream colour scheme. Really gets your tastebuds pinging about. Sixty-four pages of stripped down, single panel, laugh out loud cartoons. Includes new classics from Drive-by Abuser, Work, Cheese & Wine and debut strips from Casual Labour, Priority Pervert and Legal Highz.

Modern Toss Comic - Issue 9

£6.99

NEW Comic 9: 'Fucking Arseholes Anonymous' Comic 9 is a 64-page collection including brand new classic cartoons from Cheese & Wine, Work, Drive-by Abuser, and Customer Services. Plus new appearances from Bacon Cancer, Quiet Zone, Towel Sculptor and Random Fucking Internment Camp.    

Moody Cunt Card

£2.25

Moody Cunt Birthday Card "Happy Birthday You Moody Cunt" Send many happy returns of the day to the moody cunt in your life. Enough said.

Motoring Speeding Card

£2.25

Motoring Speeding Card   "I'm arresting you for speeding." "sorry mate me eyesight's fucked, I thought that sign said 'drive like a cunt"

Narcissist Boss Card

£2.25

Narcissist Boss Card   “Anyway, cheers for all your hard work and here’s a little something from me.”

Nose Hair Card

£2.25

Nose Hair Card   "I'm going to be late, I'm having a bad nose hair day."

Not Coming In Card

£2.25

Not Coming In Card   "So if I keep not coming in, you're going to start not paying me?"   Always check your contract before you start a new job.   Also available on a coaster. 

One Bar Signal Card

£2.25

Interview - One Bar Signal Card   "Congratulations you've got the job!" "I dunno if I can work here, I'm only getting one bar on me phone."   Priorities, innit?

Open Plan Filth Addict Print

£90.00

Signed giclee print. Limited blind stamped edition of 100. Dimensions 57cm x 24cm. Delivered in flat package to size of print.

Sale!

Paternity Leave Card

£2.25 £1.00

Work - Paternity Leave Card   "My wife's just had another baby, it's not mine but can I have a couple of weeks off anyway?"   Know someone who's having a kid? Here's a good way to question their child's paternity in a cheerfully-coloured greetings card.   For the full Work collection click here.

Sale!

Pencil Twitter Card

£2.25 £1.00

Work - Pencil Twitter Card   "have you got a pencil I can borrow?"  "that's brilliant mate, do you mind if I twitter that?"   Know someone who can't get their nose out of Twitter? Signal an intervention with this subtle card.   For the full Work collection click here.

Sale!

Periodic Table Magnet Set

£12.00 £7.20

Periodic Table of Swearing Magnet Set The Periodic Table of Swearing is an acknowledged 21st century design classic and now, thanks to technological advances, is available to stick on your fridge or any other metallic surface. With over 100 full colour individual swear magnets, you'll never be stuck for the right bit of swearing to shout at your fridge again!...

Periodic Table Mug

£9.99

Periodic Table of Swearing Mug Best Seller! The Periodic Table of Swearing contains a comprehensive selection of the finest swearing insults and is now available on a mug for passive-aggressive tea drinking.    Modern Toss gift box included. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter.   You can also get the Periodic Table of Swearing design on a tea...

Periodic Table Poster

£8.50

Periodic Table Poster The Periodic Table of Swearing is an acknowledged 21st century design classic. With over 100 swear elements to choose from, you'll never be stuck for the right bit of swearing to shout at your mates again! Poster size is A2

Periodic Table Tea Towel

£12.00

Periodic Table of Swearing Tea Towel The only tea-towel that will get you fluent in obscenity as well as drying your dishes. The Periodic Table of Swearing contains over 100 chemical swearing elements, grouped by category.  Also available as a mug, magnet set, and poster. 

Pocket Money Expenses Card

£2.25

Little Tossers - Expenses Card   "here's your pocket money" "cheers, who do I talk to about expenses?"

Sale!

Pregnant Time Off Card

£2.25 £1.00

Pregnant Time Off Card   “I’m thinking of getting a woman pregnant, how much time off is it?”   A valid question for anyone planning a family or a bit of a holiday.    Last stock available. This card will not be reprinted!

Profit Warning

£90.00

Buy More Shit – Profit Warning Giclee Print “BUY MORE SHIT OR WE“RE ALL FUCKED” Signed Giclee print. Limited blind stamped edition of 100. Dimensions 57cm x 24cm.   Delivered in flat package to size of print.

Punctuation Print

£95.00

Punctuation Networking Event Signed Print Good news for anyone who missed out on the red run of this popular print first time round, we’ve produced a smart new version in blue. It’s a cracker! Two-colour signed silkscreen print.Limited blind stamped edition of 300. Dimensions: 70cm x 23 cm

Real Ale Card

£2.25

Cheese & Wine - Real Ale Card   "have you tried this real ale from Stephen's micro brewery?" "smells like someone scooped it out of a ditch"   For the full Cheese & Wine collection click here.

Sale!

Shit Scribbler Pencil

£1.99 £1.50

Shit Scribbler Pencil Solid rectangle carpenter-style pencil. Get scribbling yeah? L 180mm x W 15mm x H 7mm

Smells Like Money Card

£2.25

Bodywork - Smells Like Money Card   "I need to chill out, got anything that smells like money?"

Sale!

Smoking Aerobics Card

£2.25 £1.00

Smoking Aerobics Card   “That high intensity speed aerobics class you’re advertising, is it smoking or non-smoking? “

Sorry You're Leaving Card

£2.25

Sorry You're Leaving Card   "Sorry You're Leaving"   Express sorrow at a colleague's departure with this classic Stroller greetings card. 

Space Argument Poster

£8.50

Space Argument Poster A Modern Toss classic from Comic 2 to hang on your wall.   “stick this flag in over there.” “you fucking do it.”   Poster size is A2   Space Argument designs are also available on a load of other stuff. 

Space Rocket T-Shirt

£25.00

Space Argument Rocket T-Shirt “5..4..3..Hang on, Tony says he needs another piss.”    Available in Small (50cm), Medium (53cm), Large (56cm), Extra Large (60cm). 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.

Special Day Dustbin Card

£2.25

Special Day Dustbin Card   It's your special day. Sit around, have a little walkabout, drink some beer and honk your guts up into a dustbin. Classic.