Milestone Birthday Card

£2.50

"do you want to do anything for your milestone birthday coming up?" "no I fucking don't"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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New Arrival Card

£2.50

''helloooo" "isn't it beautiful" "where's my fucking presents?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Dog Maxi Dress Card

£2.50

"I'm after matching outfits for a wedding, have you got a maxi dress for a sausage dog?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Smells Like Money Card

£2.50

"I need to chill out, got anything that smells like money?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Birthday Present Card

£2.50

"didn't I give this to you for Christmas?" "yeah I didn't like it, happy birthday"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Brow Bar Card

£2.50

"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

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Wedding Facebook Status Card

£2.50

"Do you take this man" "Hang on mate, I'm just updating me relationship status" That moment when modern technology makes you want to give up and live in a cave.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Borrow 20 Quid Card

£2.50

"Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?" "How about I just keep the 20 quid?" "That works for me, happy birthday yeah!"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Book From Grandad Card

£2.50

"look, Grandad's bought you a book" "how d'you turn it on?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Birthday Day Off Card

£2.50

"I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday" "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday" An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten...

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One Bar Signal Card

£2.50

"Congratulations you've got the job!" "I dunno if I can work here, I'm only getting one bar on me phone" Priorities, innit?   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Early Retirement Card

£2.50

"I'm thinking of taking early retirement" "how early?" "about 2.30"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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