Disruption Techniques Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Disruption Techniques Card "he's very strong at disruption techniques"

Plants on Desk Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Plants on Desk Card "we have a 'no plants on desk' rule" "it's actually made of plastic?"

Boring Meeting Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Boring Meeting Card "ok if I look at my phone for a bit, this meeting's boring the fuck out of me"

Water Cooler Bat Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Water Cooler Bat Card "what did you do at the weekend?" "I smashed my house up with a bat"

Bonus Department Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Bonus Department Card "I got this work finished quicker than normal, what way is it to the bonus department?"

Over Confident Applicant Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Over Confident Applicant Card "well I think that went really well" "cheers nice one mate, let's all go out and get fucking wankered yeah"

Getting Home Early Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Getting Home Early Card "ok what does success look like to everyone?" "getting home early?"

Multi-tasking Card

£2.25

"What are you like at multi-tasking? "Pretty good. I often read the paper while I'm having a shit."

Work Motivational Poster Card

£2.25

"give us a hand putting this motivational poster up" "sorry mate I'm due an electronic fag break"

Sale!

Narcissist Boss Card

£2.25 £1.00

"Anyway, cheers for all your hard work and here's a little something from me"

Bullshitters Refreshers Card

£2.25

"I see you took yesterday off for a 'bullshitter's refresher course" "yeah here's my expenses"

Work Retox Clinic Card

£2.25

"I can't come back to work this week, I've had to book myself in the retox clinic"

Work Team Player Card

£2.25

"hi sorry I'm late, I couldn't be fucked to get here any quicker"

Work Impressive Reference Card

£2.25

"very impressive reference" "cheers, I wrote that"

Work Robot Card

£2.25

"I'm worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects" "Don't panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn't want it"

Lap Dancing Card

£2.25

"Ahh now I see from your CV you've got tap dancing down as a hobby""Yeah that's actually lap dancing, I can't type for shit"First rule of interviews: focus on your strengths. An inspiring card for jobseekers.

Appraisal Cunts Upstairs Card

£2.25

"we would like to point out to you that it's highly unprofessional to refer to us as 'the cunts upstairs' when sending out emails to our client database" "Fair enough, rules are rules"

One Bar Signal Card

£2.25

"Congratulations you've got the job!" "I dunno if I can work here, I'm only getting one bar on me phone"   Priorities, innit?

Successful Idea Card

£2.25

"Here's an idea, why don't we just do stuff that's going to be really massively successful?" Why think outside the box, when you don't have to think at all?    

Birthday Day Off Card

£2.25

"I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday" "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday" An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves.  

Customer Feedback Card

£2.25

"great to get all this feedback off our new customer forum" "yeah I had no idea we were such a shit company"  

Work Fuck Off Card

£2.25

"I can't come in today so fuck off" Can't decide whether to call in sick of quit your job? This one works both ways yeah?  

Work Bored Card

£2.25

"I think I'll go home, I'm a bit bored" Why not? It's your life?

Line Manager Card

£2.25

"how are you getting on with your new line manager? "he's a fucking cunt" Got a new boss? Why not buy them a card to welcome them to their new position?

Dog at Work Card

£2.25

"you can't bring a dog into work" "er hello? He's not actually working"" Fair point really.  

Water Cooler Card

£2.25

"Good weekend?" "Yeah I'm still off my fucking tits." Monday morning work conversations all around the world typified in this Modern Toss card.

Executive Burnout Card

£2.25

"several clients have complained about receiving emails from a 'mistershits@pisscompany.com'" "yeah that'll be me working from home after a few drinks"

Ideas Meeting Card

£2.25

"don't think about it, just say it" "Fuck you" Dream meeting scenario.

Not Coming In Card

£2.25

"So if I keep not coming in, you're going to start not paying me?" Always check your contract before you start a new job.  

Specific Time Card

£2.25

"Whoa hang on, so the deal as you see it is - I have to come in almost everyday at a specific time?" The harsh reality of working life dawns on a new recruit.

Cambridge Card

£2.25

"and I see here you went to Cambridge" "yeah I had to drop something off for someone.I was back by half six" Perfect your interview technique with this Desperate Business greetings card.    

Afternoon Tweet Card

£2.25

"I see from your afternoon tweet that you're bored as fucking arseholes" "yeah cheers, I didn't know you were following me"

Early Retirement Card

£2.25

"I'm thinking of taking early retirement" "how early?" "about 2.30"    

Work Shit Meself Card

£2.25

"If I shit meself can I go home?"

Key Strategy Meeting Card

£2.25

"first item, Peter would like to apologise for his absence, says he couldn't be fucked" Hone your business marketing plan with this inspiring card. Or not, if you can't really be arsed. Either is good.

Work at the Weekend Card

£2.25

"Can you come in at the weekend?" "̏'ll come in but I'm not fucking doing anything"

Data Analyst Card

£2.25

"this spreadsheet of yours doesn't appear to make any sense" "yeah it's bollocks innit"  

Headphones Meeting Card

£2.25

"So there you have it, any questions?" "Run through that again will you, I had my headphones on"

Work From Home Card

£2.25

"we've decided we'd like you to work from home, preferably for someone else"  

Work Bi-Lingual Card

£2.25

"I see from your CV that you're bilingual" "yeah English and Emoji"

Pensions Accumulator Card

£2.25

"We don't currently have a pension scheme, but you're welcome to join in the office 7 horse accumulator" "I don't want to rush you but the first race is at 2.45"  

Work Dress Code Card

£2.25

"We don't have a dress code as such, but I would appreciate it if you could tone it down a bit"  

Stick It Up Your Arse Card

£2.25

"in an ideal world I'd tell you to stick this job up your arse"

Work Biscuits Card

£2.25

"right Steve, come on what are you bringing to the table?" "I brought the biscuits?"

Work Amazing Figures Card

£2.25

"these end of year figures are amazing" "yeah cheers, I fiddled around with them 'til they were bigger than last year's"

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