"first item, Peter would like to apologise for his absence, says he couldn't be fucked" Hone your business marketing plan with this inspiring card. Or not, if you can't really be arsed. Either is good.
"I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday" "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday" An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves.
"and I see here you went to Cambridge" "yeah I had to drop something off for someone.I was back by half six" Perfect your interview technique with this Desperate Business greetings card.
"we would like to point out to you that it's highly unprofessional to refer to us as 'the cunts upstairs' when sending out emails to our client database" "Fair enough, rules are rules"
"Ahh now I see from your CV you've got tap dancing down as a hobby""Yeah that's actually lap dancing, I can't type for shit"First rule of interviews: focus on your strengths. An inspiring card for jobseekers.