Awkward Cunt Pastries Card
"do you want any cakes or pastries with that?"
"if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them"
You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here.
Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your effing self.
Delivery & Returns
Delivery & Returns
How long will my order take to arrive?
We try to send packages out 1-2 days after the order has been placed, however during busier periods it can take a little longer.
- Premium: This service is sent via Royal Mail 24 and aims to deliver between 1-2 working days, although RM advise it can take up to 3 working days.
- Standard: This service is sent via Royal Mail 48 and aims to deliver between 2-3 working days, although RM advise it can take up to 5 working days.
- Courier Delivery: This service is sent via ParcelForce and is delivered a day after dispatch. This follows our regular dispatch times and is used for heavier orders.
- Next Working Day Delivery: This service is sent via ParcelForce. We make sure all orders placed before midday are collected by a courier service that day, for next working day delivery. The courier service does not delivery on Saturday or Sundays. Next day delivery orders on Friday will be delivered on Monday.
- Saturday Delivery: This services is sent via Royal Mail and will be delivered by 1 p.m. on the Saturday. Orders placed on Friday before midday will qualify for this service.
International Standard: This service is sent via Royal Mail. Only orders under 165 grams in weight will qualify for this service. Royal Mail advises delivery usually takes 3-5 working days for European customers and 5-7 working days for the Rest of World.
International Tracked/Tracked and Signed: This service is sent via Royal Mail and is used for all International orders over 165 grams. We use this service to guarantee delivery. Royal Mail advises delivery usually takes 3-5 working days for European customers and 5-7 working days for the Rest of World.
If you want to have your order accelerated or haven't received your order in the relevant time slot, then please send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org so we can try and provide a solution.
T-Shirts, Sweatshirts and Hoodies
These are printed to order and sent directly from a third-party warehouse. Printing time is usually up to 48 hours, but during busier periods, can take a little longer. Please allow for those to be added on to our existing delivery times. Returns on these items are at our discretion.
We are happy to refund returns sent back to us within 30 days in a new condition. Please return to us at: Brainbox Candy, Unit 11 Laurence Industrial Estate, Eastwoodbury Lane, Southend-on- Sea SS2 6RH and we will exchange or refund at your request.
Please be aware that we may request a picture of damaged items. Also that we do not usually accept returns on any bespoke items such as prints, phone cases and clothing which are made to order, but may consider individual cases.
We are unable to accept unwanted orders that are returned outside of 30 days.