Mindless Violence Colouring Book

£10.99

Mindless Violence Colouring Book Achieve a mindful state as you colour in these adrenaline-soaked scenes of mindless violence, created for you by a dedicated team of plain clothes therapists. Experience an overwhelming sense of inner peace as you immerse yourself and your pencils in a world of detail and surprises, including: a man bending a lamppost; a woman setting about a fruit tree with a...

The Working Day Colouring Book

£10.99

The Working Day Colouring Book The Working Day colouring book captures the essence of the contemporary workplace while offering you the opportunity to express yourself through the relaxing medium of colouring in. Take some well-earned chill time and immerse yourself in the fractal complexity of a man flagging an important email, someone taking an afternoon Malteser break, a group of workers looking at meal deal options in...

NEW! Rainbow Shit Scribblers

£10.99

Double Ender Rainbow Shit Scribbler Set The first major breakthrough in pencil technology for many decades. Our ‘Double Ender Rainbow Shit Scribblers’ come in a pack of 12; that’s 24 colours, each with their own unique descriptive name such as: Universal Urine, Colon Sunset, and Supermarket Mince. Combine with our new colouring books, Mindless Violence and The Working Day for the full colouring experience.

Modern Toss Comic - Issue 9

£6.99

NEW Comic 9: 'Fucking Arseholes Anonymous' Comic 9 is a 64-page collection including brand new classic cartoons from Cheese & Wine, Work, Drive-by Abuser, and Customer Services. Plus new appearances from Bacon Cancer, Quiet Zone, Towel Sculptor and Random Fucking Internment Camp.    

Awkward Cunt Card

£2.25

Awkward Cunt Card   "can I help you sir?" "I don't fucking know, you tell me"

Invisible Arsehole Card

£2.25

Invisible Arsehole Card   "Your glass of red wine sir" "I'm over here you cunt"

Pocket Money Expenses Card

£2.25

Little Tossers - Expenses Card   "here's your pocket money" "cheers, who do I talk to about expenses?"

Wine Box Card

£2.25

Wine Box Card   "when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?"

Beer In Bed Card

£2.25

Beer in Bed Card   "On Your Special Day"   Celebrate someone's birthday by bringing them a beer in bed. And this Stroller card. Sorted.

Do What You Want Card

£2.25

Do What You Fucking Want Card "It's Your Special Day -  Do What You Fucking Want With it Yeah" A Stroller greetings card that captures the true spirit of celebration days: watching TV and doing fuck-all.

Special Day Dustbin Card

£2.25

Special Day Dustbin Card   It's your special day. Sit around, have a little walkabout, drink some beer and honk your guts up into a dustbin. Classic.  

Real Ale Card

£2.25

Cheese & Wine - Real Ale Card   "have you tried this real ale from Stephen's micro brewery?" "smells like someone scooped it out of a ditch"   For the full Cheese & Wine collection click here.

Interest Rates Card

£2.25

Cheese and Wine Interest Rates Card   “So, what do you think will happen to the interest rate?” “I couldn’t give a flying fuck”   For the full Cheese & Wine collection click here.

Minding My Business Card

£2.25

Cheese & Wine - Minding My Business Card   "What are you up to at the moment?" "Minding my own fucking business."   For the full Cheese & Wine collection click here.

Motoring Speeding Card

£2.25

Motoring Speeding Card   "I'm arresting you for speeding." "sorry mate me eyesight's fucked, I thought that sign said 'drive like a cunt"

Crufts Card

£2.25

Crufts Card   "Hello, is that Crufts? Have you got a category for people who look like their dogs?"

Play To Win Card

£2.25

Stroller Play To Win Card  "You Play To Win" A Stroller card for the discerning sportsman.

Nose Hair Card

£2.25

Nose Hair Card   "I'm going to be late, I'm having a bad nose hair day."

Sale!

Paternity Leave Card

£2.25 £1.00

Work - Paternity Leave Card   "My wife's just had another baby, it's not mine but can I have a couple of weeks off anyway?"   Know someone who's having a kid? Here's a good way to question their child's paternity in a cheerfully-coloured greetings card.   For the full Work collection click here.

Total Disaster Shelf Card

£2.25

Total Fucking Disaster in Shelf Card   Thinking about putting up a shelf? Here's one way not to do it.

Decade Book

£28.00

A Decade in the Shithouse - 2nd Edition   'The Best Book Ever' -  The Sunday Times Style Magazine 'You will shit yourself laughing.' - The Idler 'Already a contemporary cartoon classic.' - The Guardian 'No one captures the frustrations of modern British life more acutely, or scurrilously, than Modern Toss.' - The Independent   This incredible collection documents the Modern...

Ideas Meeting Mug

£9.99

Idea Meeting Mug   "don't think about it, just say it." "fuck you."   Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter.   Available in a set with the Work at Weekend Mug here. The Ideas Meeting cartoon can also be found as a greetings card, poster, magnet and much more here.

Work at Weekend Mug

£9.99

Work at Weekend Mug "can you come in at the weekend?" "I'll come in but I'm not fucking doing anything."   Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter.   Available in a set with the Ideas Meeting mug here. The Work at the Weekend cartoon can also be found on a greetings card.

Ikea Mug

£9.99

"Let's go to Ikea." "Fuck Ikea."   Choose tea, not meatballs yeah?   Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter.   The Fuck Ikea cartoon can also be found on a greetings card and a coaster. Special offer: buy the Ikea and Work mugs as a set for £16.50!

Work Fuck Off Mug

£9.99

Work Fuck Off Mug “I can’t come in today, so fuck off.”   Ideal for work appraisals and sick days.   Comes with a gift box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter.  Available in a set with the Fuck Ikea mug here. This design is also available on a greetings card, a coaster, a fridge magnet, or Risograph print....

Periodic Table Mug

£9.99

Periodic Table of Swearing Mug Best Seller! The Periodic Table of Swearing contains a comprehensive selection of the finest swearing insults and is now available on a mug for passive-aggressive tea drinking.    Modern Toss gift box included. Dishwasher and microwave safe. 9.5cm height x 8.5cm diameter.   You can also get the Periodic Table of Swearing design on a tea...

Alan Horse T-Shirt

£25.00

Alan Horse T-Shirt in White A truly majestic depiction of everyone's favourite sociopath, Alan, playing polo on a pink horse. Doesn't get much classier than this.    Available in Small (50cm), Medium (53cm), Large (56cm), Extra Large (60cm). 100% Cotton. Made in the UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.

2001 Space Argument T-Shirt

£25.00

2001: A Space Argument T-Shirt “Does that look like the fucking moon?” “It’s a bit hot, can you turn the fan on?”    Available in Small (50cm), Medium (53cm), Large (56cm), Extra Large (60cm). 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.

Alan T-Shirt

£25.00

Alan T-shirt What's he running from? Where's he running to? All we know is somewhere, someone's shouting "you wanker!" at him.   Available in Small (50cm), Medium (53cm), Large (56cm) and Extra Large (60cm) 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.  

Bit More Specific T-Shirt

£25.00

Mr Tourette - Bit More Specific T-Shirt You’re going to have to be a bit more specific, yeah?   Available in Small (50cm), Medium (53cm), Large (56cm), Extra Large (60cm). 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.  

Space Rocket T-Shirt

£25.00

Space Argument Rocket T-Shirt “5..4..3..Hang on, Tony says he needs another piss.”    Available in Small (50cm), Medium (53cm), Large (56cm), Extra Large (60cm). 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.

Work Bored T-Shirt

£25.00

Work Bored T-Shirt "I think I'll go home, I'm a bit bored"    Available in Small (50cm), Medium (53cm), Large (56cm), Extra Large (60cm). 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.  

C'est la Merde T-Shirt

£25.00

Le Travail C'est La Merde T-Shirt (Work is Shit)    Available in Small (50cm), Medium (53cm), Large (56cm), Extra Large (60cm). 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.