All Cards

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Cup of Tea Card

£2.95

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Cup of Tea Card "Anyone want a cup of tea?" "Not if you're fucking making it" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your effing self.

Bollocks To This Card

£2.95

Chill Out Yeah Card

£2.95

Data Analyst Card

£2.95

"this spreadsheet of yours doesn't appear to make any sense" "yeah it's bollocks innit" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your effing self.

Before and After Internet Card

£2.95

Brow Bar Card

£2.95

"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

Book From Grandad Card

£2.95

Dog at Work Card

£2.95

"you can't bring a dog into work" "er hello? He's not actually working"" Fair point really. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your effing self.

Cup Cake Mallet Card

£2.95

Awkward Cunt Pastries Card

£2.95

"do you want any cakes or pastries with that?" "if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your effing self.

Do What You Want Card

£2.95

"It's Your Special Day - Do What You Fucking Want With it Yeah" A Stroller greetings card that captures the true spirit of celebration days: watching TV and doing fuck-all. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your effing self.

Customer Feedback Card

£2.95

"great to get all this feedback off our new customer forum" "yeah I had no idea we were such a shit company" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your effing self.

Borrow 20 Quid Card

£2.95

"Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?" "How about I just keep the 20 quid?" "That works for me, happy birthday yeah!" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your effing self.

Customer Services Piss Myself Card

£2.95

CCTV Admirer Card

£2.95

Sale!

Cut Out Heart Valentine

~~£2.95~~ £1.50

Dogs Pet Shop Card

£2.95

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Dogs Pet Shop Card "and this is our most domesticated breed" "before I go anywhere, ask them how fast their broadband speed is at home" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your effing self.

Couch to 5k Card

£2.95

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... "yeah, I'm thinking of doing the couch to 5k programme? Can I take a look at your couches?" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your effing self.

Buggering Old Twat Card

£2.95

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Buggering Old Twat Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. You can send this card direct to your mates or family...

Chillaxative Card

£2.95

Tossary of Terms card range - Chillaxative Card Deliberately listening to pan pipe music till you shit yourself. From the Tossary of Terms book which identifies and defines new words and phrases with a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten...

Cock Bonnet Card

£2.95

Tossary of Terms card range - Cock Bonnet Card Floppy men's cap popularised by Tv series Peaky Blinders. From the Tossary of Terms which identifies and defines new words and phrases, with a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message...

Anti-Social Networking Card

£2.95

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Anti-Social Networking Card "I see you've sent me another friend request" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your effing self.

Community Spirit Card

£2.95

Introducing the latest lockdown edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Community Spirit' Card "alright mate, do you wanna buy my supermarket delivery slot?" Desperate Business cartoon from Private Eye. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your effing self.

Bubble Life Podcast Card

£2.95

Introducing the latest lockdown edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Bubble Life Podcast' "I'm thinking about doing a podcast about not going on holiday" "I'm thinking about doing a podcast about not listening to your podcast about not going on holiday" "Sounds good, maybe I'll just listen to that instead" You can send this card direct to your mates or...

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