Cheese & Wine Goose Card

£2.50

"I hear Peter's having goose for Christmas." "Peter's a fucking ponce."

Good Christmas Card

£2.50

''good christmas?''''yeah, just sat in front of the telly eating crisps all day''

New Year Emoji Card

£2.50

New Year Emoji Card "In case my Happy New Year text doesn't get through later on, I thought I'd just say Happy New Year, thumbs up" "cheers, same to you but with an added champagne bottle and party popper emoji thing yeah?"

Do What You Want Card

£2.50

"It's Your Special Day - Do What You Fucking Want With it Yeah" A Stroller greetings card that captures the true spirit of celebration days: watching TV and doing fuck-all.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Carol Singer Card

£2.50

Carol Singer Card "I sang a carol earlier when you were out so I just popped back to pick up me cash"

Card Pack Card

£2.50

Card Pack Card "didn't you give us this card last year?" "yeah I bought a pack of 20"

Baseball Bat Card

£2.50

Seasonal Mood Card Get the bat ready.

Festive Footprint Card

£2.50

Festive Footprint Christmas Card "are these trees from an organically sustainable source?" "why what you going to do, fucking eat it or something?"

Hacked Bank Account Card

£2.50

"what makes you think your account has been hacked?" "'cos there's some money in it?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Seasonal Pervert Card

£2.50

"Merry Christmas mate, here's a video of me trying on all your wife's new underwear"

Moody Cunt Christmas Card

£2.50

'Happy Christmas You Moody Cunt'

Not Taking Your Coat Off Card

£2.50

"Not taking your coat off Dave?""He only agreed to come because he thought you'd have the heating on"

Seasonal Cutbacks Kids Card

£2.50

"Sorry kids the figures just aren't stacking up, we're going to have to make a couple of you redundant."

Health Monitor Card

£2.50

"how you getting on with your health monitor wristband?" "yeah, I've found I'm getting much better results since I stuck it on the dog"

Tree Stylist Card

£2.50

Tree Stylist Card "I'm really not sure about it" "Hi, yeah I need a number for a 24 hour tree stylist"

Sale!

Working Day Clear My Mind Card

£2.25 £1.00

As you get nearer to your place of work do you totally clear your mind until there's fuck all in it?

Early Retirement Card

£2.50

"I'm thinking of taking early retirement" "how early?" "about 2.30"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Turkey Saw Up Card

£2.50

Turkey Saw Up Card May the spirit of Christmas fill your home.

Sale!

What Are You? Card

£2.25 £1.00

"What are you, some sort of cunt?" (T'es qui toi, une sorte de con?)

Borrow 20 Quid Card

£2.50

"Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?" "How about I just keep the 20 quid?" "That works for me, happy birthday yeah!"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Stroller Postcard Set

£9.99

Stroller Postcard Set Ever thought about sending your boss a postcard featuring him being serviced from behind by a cart horse? Well you can now, thanks to this surreal and highly collectable Stroller postcard set. Stick ‘em on your wall or reach out and touch a friend with this selection of beautifully-crafted designs celebrating some totally unique and magic moments....

Festive Grid Drain Card

£2.50

"would you mind turning it down a bit, it's affecting my wife's dialysis machine." "perhaps you'd like to explain that to my little kiddie."

Motoring Speeding Card

£2.50

"I'm arresting you for speeding." "sorry mate me eyesight's fucked, I thought that sign said 'drive like a cunt"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Spa Voucher Card

£2.50

Spa Voucher Card "Someone bought me a spa treatment voucher for Christmas, can I spend it in your snack machine?"

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