"first item, Peter would like to apologise for his absence, says he couldn't be fucked" Hone your business marketing plan with this inspiring card. Or not, if you can't really be arsed. Either is good.
"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.
"I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday" "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday" An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves.
"and I see here you went to Cambridge" "yeah I had to drop something off for someone.I was back by half six" Perfect your interview technique with this Desperate Business greetings card.