Museum of Rave Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Museum of Rave Card "You got a chill out room? Me dad's having a massive flashback"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Couch to 5k Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards...  "yeah, I'm thinking of doing the couch to 5k programme? Can I take a look at your couches?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Fucking Old Bastard Card

£2.50

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Fucking Old Bastard Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card.    You can send this card direct to your mates or...

Prat In A Hat Card

£2.50

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Prat In A Hat Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card.    You can send this card direct to your mates...

You Look Like A Tit Card

£2.50

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - You Look Like A Tit Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card.    You can send this card direct to your...

Chillaxative Card

£2.50

Tossary of Terms card range - Chillaxative Card From the Tossary of Terms book which identifies and defines new words and phrases with a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.    You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and...

Pauled Pork Card

£2.50

Tossary of Terms card range - Pauled Pork Card Lifted from The Tossary of Terms, which identifies and defines new words and phrases for a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.    You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below...

Tossary of Terms Book

£9.99

Welcome to Tossary of Terms, the first illustrated dictionary series by Modern Toss. This book identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.  The fast changing modern scene chucks up stuff faster than we can nail it down and label it. The ear grease on a smart...

Sale!

Periodic Table Socks

£8.99 £4.99

The Periodic Table of Swearing is an acknowledged 21st century design classic and now, thanks to advances in weaving technology, is available to wear on your feet as a pair of socks. Contains 14 handpicked swear elements beautifully knitted into this classic argyle style design. Mens shoe size 7-11 80% Cotton 19% Polyamade 1% Elastane

Sale!

Work Fuck Off Socks

£8.99 £5.99

The ultimate work sock, contains a powerful message which remains hidden underneath the bottom of trouser leg, unless you’re wearing shorts or a skirt.   Mens shoe size 7-11 80% Cotton 19% Polyamade 1% Elastane

Decade Book

£28.00

'The Best Book Ever' – The Sunday Times Style Magazine  'You will shit yourself laughing.' – The Idler 'Already a contemporary cartoon classic.' – The Guardian 'No one captures the frustrations of modern British life more acutely, or scurrilously, than Modern Toss.' – The Independent LAST FEW LEFT! This incredible collection documents the Modern Toss story from the very beginning,...

Sale!

The Weekend Colouring Book

£10.99 £7.99

The Weekend Colouring Book Express your end-of-week frustrations by colouring in images depicting the joys of Saturday supermarket shopping, botched DIY projects, attending children’s sports games, visiting the in-laws, buying a takeaway and going out on the lash - the perfect catharsis in preparation for the looming spectre of Monday morning The Weekend colouring book captures the pleasures, challenges, and ridiculousness of...

Sale!

Modern Toss Comic - Issue 10

£6.99 £3.49

Comic 10: Shit for Brains Introducing the 10th comic from Modern Toss - a brand new 64-page collection of single panel jokes covering a range of topics from retail to relationships and featuring classic cartoons from all the favourites: Work, Cheese & Wine and Awkward Cunt. Plus brand new hilarity from Liberty Taker, Legal Longshots, and Pete Peters.     ...

Periodic Table A5 Notebook

£8.99

Periodic Table of Swearing Notebook One of the 21st century's most cutting edge designs has been stuck on the cover of a notebook. The Periodic Table of Swearing contains over 100 swear elements including personal favourites, 'Stinks Like Piss', 'Who's The Prat In The Corner' and 'Stupid Cunt.' Perfect for taking notes in class or at work, while sneakily swearing...

Periodic Table Snap Gloss Case

£14.99

Got a phone yeah? Why not look after it with this high-quality phone case from the House of Toss. Scratch resistant, thin but strong as fuck and made out of some ultra durable wipe clean polycarbon bollocks. These snap-on cases cover the back and sides of the phone with easy access to all holes for sticking wires in. PRICE INCLUDES...

Do What You Want Card

£2.50

"It's Your Special Day - Do What You Fucking Want With it Yeah" A Stroller greetings card that captures the true spirit of celebration days: watching TV and doing fuck-all.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Beer In Bed Card

£2.50

"On Your Special Day" Celebrate someone's birthday by bringing them a beer in bed. And this Stroller card. Sorted.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Alan Classic T-Shirt

£22.00

Alan Classic T-Shirt "Alan you wanker!" Everyone's favourite destructive wanker captured in running form and printed onto a t-shirt. PRICE INCLUDES FREE UK SHIPPING - NEXT DAY DELIVERY NOT AVAILABLE Each T-Shirt is printed to demand and can take up to 7 working days, no longer can guarantee for Christmas! Please select sizing carefully, as refunds or exchanges are limited on this...

Bit More Specific T-Shirt

£22.00

Bit More Specific T-Shirt Say it like it is with Modern Toss. Comes in 6 different colours. Switch it up yeah? PRICE INCLUDES FREE UK SHIPPING - NEXT DAY DELIVERY NOT AVAILABLE Each T-Shirt is printed to demand and can take up to 7 working days, no longer can guarantee for Christmas! Please select sizing carefully, as refunds or exchanges are limited...

Like No Yeah Hoodie

£32.00

Like No Yeah Hoodie err.. hello? Comes in 8 different colours for you picky Tossers. PRICE INCLUDES FREE UK SHIPPING - NEXT DAY DELIVERY NOT AVAILABLE Each hoodie is printed to demand and can take up to 7 working days, no longer can guarantee for Christmas! Please select sizing carefully, as refunds or exchanges are limited on this item. Size Guide (chest): Small: 51cm...

Weekend TV Controls Card

£2.50

Too fucked to get the TV controls? So you're just going to have to sit through this Sunday night costume drama then! Also works with Poldark.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Play to Win Snap Gloss Case

£14.99

Got a phone yeah? Why not look after it with this high-quality phone case from the House of Toss. Scratch resistant, thin but strong as fuck and made out of some ultra durable wipe clean polycarbon bollocks. These snap-on cases cover the back and sides of the phone with easy access to all holes for sticking wires in. PRICE INCLUDES...

Sale!

Play To Win Card

£2.25 £1.00

"You Play To Win" A Stroller card for the discerning sportsman.

Periodic Table Tough Matte Case

£17.99

Got a phone yeah? Why not look after it with this high-quality phone case from the House of Toss. Scratch resistant, strong as fuck and made out of some ultra durable wipe clean polycarbon bollocks. These extra tough cases cover the back and sides of the phone with easy access to all holes for sticking wires in. PRICE INCLUDES FREE UK...