Desktop Calendar 2022

£8.99

NOW IN STOCK! Thinking about trying to do something on specific day or work out when your birthday is?This 365 day calendar will help you, contains notable dates and birthdays of notable people. Size: A5 with insert stand

Wall Calendar 2022

£12.99

NOW IN STOCK! Thinking about trying to do something on specific day or work out when your birthday is?This 365 day calendar will help you, contains notable dates and birthdays of notable people. Size: A3 with looped hanger and more space to write shit.

Motivational Pencil Set

£9.99

NEW! Motivational Pencil Set Need some inspiration to get back on it after this shit storm of a year? FUCKING WADE IN AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS YEAH! One for every day of the week.

Drive-By Poetry Book

£9.99

NEW! Hardback Collection of Drive-By Abuser Poetry, happily tackling any subject in the world and making some sense of it. Alright? Thumbing through a book yeah? Admiring its epic sweep? Must be a classic. I should know, I fucking wrote it.

Work is Shit Book

£9.99

Work is Shit Book Introducing a brand new collection of pin-sharp and totally hilarious work jokes from Modern Toss. This bang-up-to-date selection explores some of the technological advances which have managed to make work even more shit than it was before, while still acknowledging the more traditional ways that have always made work shit. Warning: Contains language actually used in...

Tossary of Terms Book

£9.99

Welcome to Tossary of Terms, the first illustrated dictionary series by Modern Toss. This book identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.  The fast changing modern scene chucks up stuff faster than we can nail it down and label it. The ear grease on a smart...

Christmas Mood Book

£9.99

Eighty pages of seasonal cartoon excellence! Contains a hand-picked selection of our greatest festive hits, trussed up in one bumper blowout book. Includes new cartoons!

Festive Shit Wrap

£2.50

Festive Shit Wrap Get your shit-naks all wrapped up with this limited edition Festive Shit Wrapping paper for the full Toss effect this Christmas. Sold in packs of 2. Dimensions: 489mm x 692mm

Periodic Table A5 Notebook

£8.99

Periodic Table of Swearing Notebook One of the 21st century's most cutting edge designs has been stuck on the cover of a notebook. The Periodic Table of Swearing contains over 100 swear elements including personal favourites, 'Stinks Like Piss', 'Who's The Prat In The Corner' and 'Stupid Cunt.' Perfect for taking notes in class or at work, while sneakily swearing...

Work Amazing Figures Notebook

£4.99

Introducing the NEW range of Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. NOW AVAILABLE IN A5 AND A6 SIZES - SELECT BELOW Delivered across 96/64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A5/A6 format. "these end of year figures are amazing" "yeah cheers, I fiddled around with them 'til they were bigger than...

Periodic Table of Swearing Tea Towel

£12.00

Periodic Table of Swearing Tea Towel The only tea-towel that will get you fluent in obscenity as well as drying your dishes. The Periodic Table of Swearing contains over 100 chemical swearing elements, grouped by category. 

Flies of the British Isles Tea Towel

£12.00

Flies of the British Isles Tea Towel Wipe the fuck out of your dishes with a Modern Toss tea towel.

Seasonal Misfits Pack

£9.50

Get a bundle of 7 New and Classic Christmas cards for £9.50 – saving over a six quid! Scroll through the images to the see the full collection. XMT80: Cranberry Sauce Card XMT81: Queen's Speech Card XMT41: Seagull Cutbacks Card XMT29: Turkey Saw Up Card XMT79: Seasonal Cutbacks Presents Card XMT63: Bus Replacement Card XMT53: Santa Website Card

Queen's Speech Card

£2.50

"what are we watching?" "dunno, it's like some sort of reality TV spin off from The Crown"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Shitpipe Book Card

£2.50

"oh great, 'The World's Gone Down the Shitpipe", I'll enjoy this." "yeah, it's his follow up to the bestselling 'The World on the Edge of a Shitpipe."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Cranberry Sauce Card

£2.50

"can you pass the cranberry sauce" "no I fucking can't"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Drive-By Christmas Tree Card

£2.50

Drive-By Christmas Tree Card Introducing our new Drive By Abuser card collection... "Seasonal tree are you?"    You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Drive-By Reindeer Card

£2.50

Drive-By Reindeer Card Introducing our new Drive-By Abuser card collection... "Alright! pack of reindeer yeah?"    You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Seasonal Cutbacks Presents Card

£2.50

"I thought we were cutting back on presents this year?" "don't panic, I nicked this lot from next door"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Christmas Experience Card

£2.50

"we're not doing the whole christmas present thing this year, we're gifting experiences?" "yeah Steve's gifted me the experience of watching him scrape the turkey fat off the baking tray"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Merry Christmas Holiday Card

£2.50

"don't buy me anything expensive this year" "I wasn't going to, I'm going on holiday"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Christmas Cheer Wine Card

£2.50

"the neighbours want to come round for a glass of wine" "tell 'em they can have the whole bottle if they stay where they are"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Card Pack Card

£2.50

Card Pack Card "didn't you give us this card last year?" "yeah I bought a pack of 20"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Dress for Dinner Card

£2.50

Dress for Dinner Card "d'you reckon we should dress for dinner?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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