Mystery Card Box

£10.00

Modern Toss Mystery Card Box Got a load of shit you wanna get rid of yeah? Charging a tenner for it as well are ya? I wouldn't have the fucking nerve. See you around yeah!                                  Contains 16 cards/postcards -  worth well over 40 quid!      ...

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The Weekend Colouring Book

£10.99 £7.99

The Weekend Colouring Book Express your end-of-week frustrations by colouring in images depicting the joys of Saturday supermarket shopping, botched DIY projects, attending children’s sports games, visiting the in-laws, buying a takeaway and going out on the lash - the perfect catharsis in preparation for the looming spectre of Monday morning The Weekend colouring book captures the pleasures, challenges, and ridiculousness of...

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The Working Day Colouring Book

£10.99 £7.99

The Working Day Colouring Book The Working Day colouring book captures the essence of the contemporary workplace while offering you the opportunity to express yourself through the relaxing medium of colouring in. Take some well-earned chill time and immerse yourself in the fractal complexity of a man flagging an important email, someone taking an afternoon Malteser break, a group of workers looking at meal deal options in...

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Can't Be Fucked Mug

£12.00 £7.50

Originally released as a screenprint in 2008, 'Punctuation Networking Event' is back in mug form! "People used to use me to partially obscure swearwords, but it seems like they can't be fucked any more." "Luck of the draw, mate. I was long-term unemployed until some bloke invented email." 2 FOR £10 ON PUNCTUATION MUGS Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher...

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Apostrophe Business Mug

£12.00 £7.50

Originally released as a screenprint in 2008, 'Punctuation Networking Event' is back in mug form! "How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive, turned out he was after a straight plural." 2 FOR £10 ON PUNCTUATION MUGS Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher...

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Alan Horse Piss T-Shirt

£25.00 £17.50

Alan Horse Piss T-Shirt This classic horse based design has been shit-tweaked to perfectly compliment our stunning Horse Piss Beer cans. Only available in Small (50cm). 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.

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Sign Up Don't Turn Up Bookmark

£2.99 £1.99

Sign Up Don't Turn Up Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'Do you do a 'Sign Up, Don't Turn Up' package?'

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Punctuation Legal Problems Bookmark

£2.99 £1.99

Punctuation Legal Problems Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'Better be careful where we stand I don't want any legal problems.'

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Punctuation Paris Hat Bookmark

£2.99 £1.99

Punctuation Paris Hat Bookmark - It's magnetic yeah? 'I love your hat.' 'Thanks, I picked it up in Paris.' 'Any food left? I always turn up at the end?'

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Pencil Twitter Notebook

£4.99 £3.50

Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Pencil Twitter Notebook "have you got a pencil I can borrow?" "that's brilliant mate, do you mind if I twitter that?"

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Paris Hat Notebook

£4.99 £3.50

Modern Toss Notebooks perfect for pretending to take notes at work, during class or in any awkward situation. Delivered across 64 crisp-white feint lined pages in a modern A6 format. Punctuation Paris Hat Notebook "I love your hat" "thanks, I picked it up in Paris"  

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Successful Idea Coaster

£2.99 £1.99

“Here’s an idea, why don’t we just do stuff that’s really massively successful?”  

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Work Bored Card

£2.50 £1.50

"I think I'll go home, I'm a bit bored" Why not? It's your life?   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Stick It Up Your Arse Card

£2.50 £1.50

"in an ideal world I'd tell you to stick this job up your arse"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Money Saving Expert Card

£2.50 £1.50

"I only use it to save a few quid buying my groceries back in the 70's"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Work Impressive Reference Card

£2.50 £1.50

"very impressive reference" "cheers, I wrote that"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Bullshitters Refreshers Card

£2.50 £1.50

"I see you took yesterday off for a 'bullshitter's refresher course" "yeah here's my expenses"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Buy More Shit Card

£2.50 £1.50

Buy More Shit or We're all Fucked First created following the 2008 banking crash, we didn't expect our Buy More Shit or We're All Fucked stuff to still be relevant but here we are.... Spread the word with this greeting card. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

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Busiest Week Card

£2.50 £1.50

"I see you've applied for time off during our busiest week." "yeah, hopefully you'll have everything done by the time I get back." A productivity-boosting work-themed greetings card for the lazy tosser in your life.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and...

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Afternoon Tweet Card

£2.50 £1.50

"I see from your afternoon tweet that you're bored as fucking arseholes" "yeah cheers, I didn't know you were following me"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Book is Shit Card

£2.50 £1.50

"This book I bought off you is fucking shit" The Modern Toss customer services department is highly trained to deal with complaints of this nature.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Work Shit Meself Card

£2.50 £1.50

"If I shit meself can I go home?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Headphones Meeting Card

£2.50 £1.50

"So there you have it, any questions?" "Run through that again will you, I had my headphones on"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Weekend Too Early Card

£2.50 £1.50

Is it still slightly too early for a drink?   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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