Mystery Card Box

£10.00

Modern Toss Mystery Card Box Got a load of shit you wanna get rid of yeah? Charging a tenner for it as well are ya? I wouldn't have the fucking nerve. See you around yeah!                                  Contains 16 cards/postcards -  worth well over 40 quid!      ...

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Toss Stickers

£9.99 £7.99

Welcome to our first ever pack of Toss stickers. Perfect for livening up boring old shit lying around your house or office.

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The Weekend Colouring Book

£10.99 £7.99

The Weekend Colouring Book Express your end-of-week frustrations by colouring in images depicting the joys of Saturday supermarket shopping, botched DIY projects, attending children’s sports games, visiting the in-laws, buying a takeaway and going out on the lash - the perfect catharsis in preparation for the looming spectre of Monday morning The Weekend colouring book captures the pleasures, challenges, and ridiculousness of...

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The Working Day Colouring Book

£10.99 £7.99

The Working Day Colouring Book The Working Day colouring book captures the essence of the contemporary workplace while offering you the opportunity to express yourself through the relaxing medium of colouring in. Take some well-earned chill time and immerse yourself in the fractal complexity of a man flagging an important email, someone taking an afternoon Malteser break, a group of workers looking at meal deal options in...

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Can't Be Fucked Mug

£12.00 £7.50

Originally released as a screenprint in 2008, 'Punctuation Networking Event' is back in mug form! "People used to use me to partially obscure swearwords, but it seems like they can't be fucked any more." "Luck of the draw, mate. I was long-term unemployed until some bloke invented email." 2 FOR £10 ON PUNCTUATION MUGS Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher...

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Apostrophe Business Mug

£12.00 £7.50

Originally released as a screenprint in 2008, 'Punctuation Networking Event' is back in mug form! "How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive, turned out he was after a straight plural." 2 FOR £10 ON PUNCTUATION MUGS Comes in a gift box. Dishwasher...

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Alan Horse Piss T-Shirt

£25.00 £17.50

Alan Horse Piss T-Shirt This classic horse based design has been shit-tweaked to perfectly compliment our stunning Horse Piss Beer cans. Only available in Small (50cm). 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.

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Smoking Aerobics Card

£2.50 £1.25

At the gym. "That high intensity speed aerobics class you're advertising, is it smoking or non-smoking?"

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Weekend Parents on Landline Card

£2.50 £1.25

One of our parents is trying to call us on the landline. Anyone going to answer?

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Play To Win Card

£2.50 £1.25

"You Play To Win" A Stroller card for the discerning sportsman.

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Successful Idea Coaster

£2.99 £1.99

“Here’s an idea, why don’t we just do stuff that’s really massively successful?”  

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Work Bi-Lingual Card

£2.50 £1.25

"I see from your CV that you're bilingual" "yeah English and Emoji"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Pensions Accumulator Card

£2.50 £1.25

"We don't currently have a pension scheme, but you're welcome to join in the office 7 horse accumulator" "I don't want to rush you but the first race is at 2.45"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Bang out Texts Card

£2.50 £1.25

"Yeah, carry on talking mate, I've just got to bang out a couple of texts" Good luck with that interview yeah? See you down the job centre.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Work Dress Code Card

£2.50 £1.25

"We don't have a dress code as such, but I would appreciate it if you could tone it down a bit"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Working Day Meeting Card

£2.50 £1.25

Morning catch up meeting, I'll listen in for a bit - once I know what they're talking about I'll try and say something.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Punctuation Legal Problems Card

£2.50 £1.25

"Better be careful where we stand I dont want any legal problems"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Go For It Yeah Card

£2.50 £1.25

"Happy Birthday - Go For It Yeah!" Boost a friend's body image with this encouraging Stroller birthday card.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Pencil Twitter Card

£2.50 £1.25

"have you got a pencil I can borrow?" "that's brilliant mate, do you mind if I twitter that?" Know someone who can't get their nose out of Twitter? Signal an intervention with this subtle card.

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Cheese & Wine Hug Card

£2.50 £1.25

"bloody hell Gerry he was only trying to give you a hug." "I thought he was coming at me so I decked him."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Weekend Test Pot Card

£2.50 £1.25

"I fucking hate that colour" Welcome someone to their new home with?some harsh truths about how they'll be spending their weekends   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Spa You/Me Time Card

£2.50 £1.25

'I want to book myself in for some 'me time'' "we only do 'you time' is that ok?'   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Work Fuck Off Socks

£8.99 £5.99

The ultimate work sock, contains a powerful message which remains hidden underneath the bottom of trouser leg, unless you’re wearing shorts or a skirt.   Mens shoe size 7-11 80% Cotton 19% Polyamade 1% Elastane

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