Generation Arsehole GCSE Card

£2.25

"I normally home tutor for maths GCSE" "we just want you to train home not to piss all round the toilet seat"

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Company Calendar Card

£2.25

"what's all these photos of you naked?" "just letting you know what I've got if you need to do a company calendar"

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Hacked Bank Account Card

£2.25

"what makes you think your account has been hacked?" "'cos there's some money in it?"

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Sign Up Don't Turn Up Card

£2.25

"Do you do a 'Sign Up, Don't Turn Up' Package?"

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Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.25

"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"

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Customer Services Piss Myself Card

£2.25

"this drink I bought off you, made me piss myself"

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Health Monitor Card

£3.25

"how you getting on with your health monitor wristband?" "yeah, I've found I'm getting much better results since I stuck it on the dog"

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Honest Relationship Card

£2.25

"does my stomach look big in this?" "yeah"

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Last Orders Card

£2.25

"As you can see they've retained a few original features, like Pete who used to drink here when it was a pub" "Where's the crisps?"

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Pro Gamer Card

£2.25

"I went outside earlier in the week, it's like you literally have no control over anything?"

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Money Saving Expert Card

£2.25

"I only use it to save a few quid buying my groceries back in the 70's"

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Awkward Cunt Pastries Card

£2.25

"do you want any cakes or pastries with that?" "if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them"

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Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Card

£2.25

"hello my name's Peter and I'm a fucking arsehole"

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Bollocks To This Card

£2.25

"it's definitely Peter, I recognise the handwriting"

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Chill Out Yeah Card

£2.25

"how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start"

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Invisible Arsehole Card

£2.25

"Your glass of red wine sir" "I'm over here you cunt"

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Awkward Cunt Card

£2.25

"can I help you sir?" "I don't fucking know, you tell me"

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New Arrival Card

£2.25

''helloooo" "isn't it beautiful" "where's my fucking presents?"

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Dog Maxi Dress Card

£2.25

"I'm after matching outfits for a wedding, have you got a maxi dress for a sausage dog?"

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High Street Coffee Card

£2.25

''Excuse me, is there anywhere round here I can't get a coffee?"

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Motoring Speeding Card

£2.25

"I'm arresting you for speeding." "sorry mate me eyesight's fucked, I thought that sign said 'drive like a cunt"

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Wine Box Card

£2.25

"when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?"

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Smells Like Money Card

£2.25

"I need to chill out, got anything that smells like money?"

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Fucking Typical Card

£2.25

"I want a bank loan" "I'm going to have to take a few details down" "tell you what mate fucking swivel on it, no wonder the country's fucked"

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