Just look how far we've come.
"leave it Steve, so what if he reckons your sponge base was a bit on the moist side"
'I want to book myself in for some 'me time''
"we only do 'you time' is that ok?'
"I've lost quite a bit of weight worrying about not going to the gym"
"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested"
If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.
"I fucking hate that colour"
Welcome someone to their new home with?some harsh truths about how they'll be spending their weekends
"Do you take this man"
"Hang on mate, I'm just updating me relationship status"
That moment when modern technology makes you want to give up and live in a cave.
"Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?"
"How about I just keep the 20 quid?"
"That works for me, happy birthday yeah!"
"look, Grandad's bought you a book"
"how d'you turn it on?"
"let's go to Ikea"
Because going to a furniture store for a meal is just wrong.
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