Birthday Present Card


"didn't I give this to you for Christmas?" "yeah I didn't like it, happy birthday"

Before and After Internet Card


Just look how far we've come.

Village Cake Off Card


"leave it Steve, so what if he reckons your sponge base was a bit on the moist side"

Spa You/Me Time Card


'I want to book myself in for some 'me time'' "we only do 'you time' is that ok?'

Bodywork Losing Weight Card


"I've lost quite a bit of weight worrying about not going to the gym"

Brow Bar Card


"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.

Weekend Test Pot Card


"I fucking hate that colour" Welcome someone to their new home with?some harsh truths about how they'll be spending their weekends

Wedding Facebook Status Card


"Do you take this man" "Hang on mate, I'm just updating me relationship status" That moment when modern technology makes you want to give up and live in a cave.

Book is Shit Card


"This book I bought off you is fucking shit" The Modern Toss customer services department is highly trained to deal with complaints of this nature.

Borrow 20 Quid Card


"Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?" "How about I just keep the 20 quid?" "That works for me, happy birthday yeah!"

Book From Grandad Card


"look, Grandad's bought you a book" "how d'you turn it on?"  

Fuck Ikea Card


"let's go to Ikea" "fuck Ikea" Because going to a furniture store for a meal is just wrong.

Net Orders Checkout

Item Price Qty Total
Subtotal £0.00

Shipping Address

Shipping Methods