Santa's Grotto Christmas Card

£2.50

"hello, and what would you like for Christmas?" "I dunno, you fucking work it out."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Christmas Game Card

£2.50

''one word...'' ''bollocks''   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Santa Skiing Holiday Card

£2.50

"Congratulations you've got the job" "Cheers, I need a couple of weeks off in December, I've got a skiing holiday booked"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Seasonal Cutbacks Tree

£2.50

"We're cutting back a bit this year, Steve's offered to be the tree"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Seasonal Work Card

£2.50

"Spending Christmas with the family again?" "Yeah can you write me a note saying I have to come in"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Santa Website Card

£2.50

''look at this website showing a satellite image of where santa is currently delivering presents'' ''obviously fucking bullshit''   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Good Christmas Card

£2.50

''good christmas?'' ''yeah, just sat in front of the telly eating crisps all day''   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Christmas Jumper Card

£2.50

"what d'you reckon?" "yeah I like it." "It's not too tight around the arms is it?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Family Tree Card

£2.50

"I've been doing the family tree and it turns out none of us are related." "Can we all go home then?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Seasonal Cutbacks Kids Card

£2.50

"Sorry kids the figures just aren't stacking up, we're going to have to make a couple of you redundant."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Seasonal Yesteryear Card

£2.50

"Hold these while I have a piss over that drain."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Swear Tree Card

£2.50

A Partridge in a Swear Tree Christmas Card Includes a word-search for the kids.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Cheese & Wine Decorations Card

£2.50

Cheese & Wine Decorations Christmas Card "All our Christmas cards are totally hand made this year." "I wondered why it all looked so fucking shit." This one is dedicated to Kirsty Allsopp.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your...

Recipe Book Card

£2.50

"oh thanks a TV chef recipe book." "yeah sorry I couldn't think what the fuck to get you."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Seagull Cutbacks Card

£2.50

"we thought we'd try something a bit different this year." "is that a seagull?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

SAD Mince Pie Card

£2.50

Seasonal Affective Disorder Mince Pie Christmas Card "next door want to know if we'd like to pop over for a mince pie" "I've got a fucking mince pie"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

SAD Christmas Walk Card

£2.50

"do you want to come out for a Christmas Walk?" "no I fucking don't."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Moody Cunt Christmas Card

£2.50

'Happy Christmas You Moody Cunt'   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Cheese & Wine Pills Card

£2.50

"I see you've got a Christmas card." "yes it's from the company who supply my hard on pills."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Cheese & Wine Goose Card

£2.50

"I hear Peter's having goose for Christmas." "Peter's a fucking ponce."

Goat Present Card

£2.50

"d'you get any good presents?" "yeah, me Aunty Jean got me a goat, but they delivered it to somewhere in Africa... Unbelievable."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Festive Grid Drain Card

£2.50

"would you mind turning it down a bit, it's affecting my wife's dialysis machine." "perhaps you'd like to explain that to my little kiddie."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Gastric Band Christmas Card

£2.50

Gastric Band Christmas Card "what do you want for Christmas?" "I've set my heart on having my gastric band loosened up"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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