Seasonal Pervert Card

£2.25

"Merry Christmas mate, here's a video of me trying on all your wife's new underwear"

Seasonal Cutbacks Tree

£2.25

"We're cutting back a bit this year, Steve's offered to be the tree"

Seasonal Work Card

£2.25

"Spending Christmas with the family again?""Yeah can you write me a note saying I have to come in"

Christmas Armistice Card

£2.25

"It's from your sister, she wants to know if we'd be up for a Christmas present armistice?""Yeah send her one back, see if she's up for skipping the meal as well"

Santa Website Card

£2.25

''look at this website showing a satellite image of where santa is currently delivering presents''''obviously fucking bullshit''

Christmas Centrepiece Card

£2.25

''everyone ok with me wearing my new Christmas underwear?''

Cutbacks Lights Card

£2.25

''I've had to cut back a bit this year, normally I turn them on in September''

Good Christmas Card

£2.25

''good christmas?''''yeah, just sat in front of the telly eating crisps all day''

Christmas Jumper Card

£2.25

"what d'you reckon?""yeah I like it.""It's not too tight around the arms is it?"

Family Tree Card

£2.25

"I've been doing the family tree and it turns out none of us are related.""Can we all go home then?"

Seasonal Cutbacks Kids Card

£2.25

"Sorry kids the figures just aren't stacking up, we're going to have to make a couple of you redundant."

Seasonal Yesteryear Card

£2.25

"Hold these while I have a piss over that drain."  

Grandad Turkey Card

£2.25

"where are you going with Dad?""I don't care if he's got Alzheimer's no-one sticks their cock in the Turkey.""see you next year Grandad."

Swear Tree Card

£2.25

A Partridge in a Swear Tree Christmas Card Includes a word-search for the kids.

Cheese & Wine Decorations Card

£2.25

Cheese & Wine Decorations Christmas Card"All our Christmas cards are totally hand made this year.""I wondered why it all looked so fucking shit."This one is dedicated to Kirsty Allsopp.

Recipe Book Card

£2.25

"oh thanks a TV chef recipe book.""yeah sorry I couldn't think what the fuck to get you."

Seagull Cutbacks Card

£2.25

"we thought we'd try something a bit different this year.""is that a seagull?"

SAD Mince Pie Card

£2.25

Seasonal Affective Disorder Mince Pie Christmas Card"next door want to know if we'd like to pop over for a mince pie""I've got a fucking mince pie"

SAD Christmas Walk Card

£2.25

"do you want to come out for a Christmas Walk?" "no I fucking don't."  

Moody Cunt Christmas Card

£2.25

'Happy Christmas You Moody Cunt'

Phone Mast Card

£2.25

"nice tree Dave must have cost a packet.""yeah keep it quiet it's a phone mast, should pay for this year's holiday.""pumping out some heat innit?"

Cheese & Wine Pills Card

£2.25

"I see you've got a Christmas card.""yes it's from the company who supply my hard on pills."

Cheese & Wine Goose Card

£2.25

"I hear Peter's having goose for Christmas." "Peter's a fucking ponce."

Cheese & Wine Gerry Card

£2.25

"We'd better be making a move, Gerry's just shit himself"

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