Mother's Day DNA Profile
"I want to book a full DNA profile to confirm I'm definitely their mother."
Mother's Day A&E
"This kid you helped me give birth to is a fucking nightmare."
Mother's Day Purse
"Have you been taking money out of my purse again?"
"Definitely not me, last time I looked there was nothing in it"
"I've lost quite a bit of weight worrying about not going to the gym"
"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested"
If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.
"when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?"
"I need to chill out, got anything that smells like money?"
'I want to book myself in for some 'me time''
"we only do 'you time' is that ok?'
Because the lady loves... fags and wine in bed.
"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"
"Do you do a 'Sign Up, Don't Turn Up' Package?"