Booze & Drugs

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Back In The Day Card

£2.50

"See that field with the animal in it, I was fully off me nut right by that sheep trough back in '89" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

'Avin it Card

£2.50

Amphetamines Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Amphetamines Card "So in a nutshell you want to do 12 months work in January and then go home for the rest of the year" "Yeah I'm going to be using a fuck load of Amphetamines so I don't anticipate my problems with it" You can send this card direct to...

Weekend Pillhead Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Weekend Pillhead Card "Any hobbies?" "Reading, gardening and I'm also a massive weekend pillhead?" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

For a Special Lady Card

£2.50

Beer In Bed Card

£2.50

"On Your Special Day" Celebrate someone's birthday by bringing them a beer in bed. And this Stroller card. Sorted. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.50

Working Day Lie Down Card

£2.50

Ed Sheeran Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Ed Sheeran Card "Alexa, play Ed Sheeran" "do I have to?" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Museum of Rave Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Museum of Rave Card "You got a chill out room? Me dad's having a massive flashback" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Wine Box Card

£2.50

"when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Card

£2.50

Customer Services Piss Myself Card

£2.50

Social Pisstancing Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest lockdown edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Social Pisstancing' "yard of ale and a two metre flute of cider please mate" Desperate Business cartoon from Private Eye. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sale!

Weekend Too Early Card

~~£2.50~~ £1.50

Sale!

Cheese & Wine Hug Card

~~£2.50~~ £1.25

"bloody hell Gerry he was only trying to give you a hug." "I thought he was coming at me so I decked him." You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Real Ale Card

£2.50

"have you tried this real ale from Stephen's micro brewery?" "smells like someone scooped it out of a ditch" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Minding My Business Card

£2.50

Awkward Cunt Drink Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Awkward Cunt Drink Card "can I get you a drink sir?" "I dunno, can you?" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Interest Rates Card

£2.50

Water Cooler Card

£2.50

"Good weekend?" "Yeah I'm still off my fucking tits." Monday morning work conversations all around the world typified in this Modern Toss card. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Weekend TV Controls Card

£2.50

Too fucked to get the TV controls? So you're just going to have to sit through this Sunday night costume drama then! Also works with Poldark. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Work Retox Clinic Card

£2.50

"I can't come back to work this week, I've had to book myself in the retox clinic" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Pissed As A Cunt Card

£2.50

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Pissed As A Cunt Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. You can send this card direct to your mates or...

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