Sale!

Christmas Jumper Card

£2.50 £1.25

"what d'you reckon?" "yeah I like it." "It's not too tight around the arms is it?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Add to basket
Sale!

Family Tree Card

£2.50 £1.25

"I've been doing the family tree and it turns out none of us are related." "Can we all go home then?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Add to basket
Sale!

Seasonal Cutbacks Kids Card

£2.50 £1.25

"Sorry kids the figures just aren't stacking up, we're going to have to make a couple of you redundant."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Add to basket
Sale!

Seasonal Yesteryear Card

£2.50 £1.25

"Hold these while I have a piss over that drain."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Add to basket
Sale!

Christmas Argument Card

£2.50 £1.25

Christmas Argument Card "yeah all good here thanks, we've had the meal and we're just getting ready for the argument."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Add to basket
Sale!

Cheese & Wine Decorations Card

£2.50 £1.25

Cheese & Wine Decorations Christmas Card "All our Christmas cards are totally hand made this year." "I wondered why it all looked so fucking shit." This one is dedicated to Kirsty Allsopp.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your...

Add to basket
Sale!

Recipe Book Card

£2.50 £1.25

"oh thanks a TV chef recipe book." "yeah sorry I couldn't think what the fuck to get you."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Add to basket
Sale!

Seagull Cutbacks Card

£2.50 £1.25

"we thought we'd try something a bit different this year." "is that a seagull?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Add to basket
Sale!

Moody Cunt Christmas Card

£2.50 £1.25

'Happy Christmas You Moody Cunt'   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Add to basket
Sale!

Cheese & Wine Pills Card

£2.50 £1.25

"I see you've got a Christmas card." "yes it's from the company who supply my hard on pills."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Out of stock
Sale!

Cheese & Wine Goose Card

£2.50 £1.25

"I hear Peter's having goose for Christmas." "Peter's a fucking ponce."

Add to basket
Sale!

Swear Tree Card

£2.50 £1.25

A Partridge in a Swear Tree Christmas Card Includes a word-search for the kids.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Out of stock
Sale!

SAD Mince Pie Card

£2.50 £1.25

Seasonal Affective Disorder Mince Pie Christmas Card "next door want to know if we'd like to pop over for a mince pie" "I've got a fucking mince pie"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Add to basket
Sale!

SAD Christmas Walk Card

£2.50 £1.25

"do you want to come out for a Christmas Walk?" "no I fucking don't."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Add to basket
Sale!

Goat Present Card

£2.50 £1.25

"d'you get any good presents?" "yeah, me Aunty Jean got me a goat, but they delivered it to somewhere in Africa... Unbelievable."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Add to basket
Sale!

Alan Horse Piss T-Shirt

£25.00 £17.50

Alan Horse Piss T-Shirt This classic horse based design has been shit-tweaked to perfectly compliment our stunning Horse Piss Beer cans. Available in Small (50cm), Medium (53cm), Large (56cm) and Extra Large (60cm) 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.

Select Options
Sale!

2001 Space Argument T-Shirt

£25.00 £17.50

2001: A Space Argument T-Shirt “Does that look like the fucking moon?” “It’s a bit hot, can you turn the fan on?”    Available in Small (50cm), Medium (53cm), Large (56cm), Extra Large (60cm). 100% Cotton. Made in UK with Continental Clothing t-shirts.

Add to basket
Sale!

Smoking Aerobics Card

£2.25 £1.00

"That high intensity speed aerobics class you're advertising, is it smoking or non-smoking?"

Add to basket
Sale!

What Are You? Card

£2.25 £1.00

"What are you, some sort of cunt?" (T'es qui toi, une sorte de con?)

Add to basket
Sale!

Webcam Card

£2.25 £1.00

"We're exploring new business opportunities. Carry on with the accounts but every time that red light comes on slip your top off

Add to basket
Sale!

Weekend Parents on Landline Card

£2.25 £1.00

One of our parents is trying to call us on the landline. Anyone going to answer?

Add to basket

Multi-tasking Card

£1.25

"What are you like at multi-tasking? "Pretty good. I often read the paper while I'm having a shit."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Add to basket

Net Orders Checkout

Item Price Qty Total
Subtotal £0.00
Shipping
Total

Shipping Address

Shipping Methods