Generation Arsehole GCSE Card

£2.25

"I normally home tutor for maths GCSE" "we just want you to train home not to piss all round the toilet seat"

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Company Calendar Card

£2.25

"what's all these photos of you naked?" "just letting you know what I've got if you need to do a company calendar"

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Bullshitters Refreshers Card

£2.25

"I see you took yesterday off for a 'bullshitter's refresher course" "yeah here's my expenses"

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Hacked Bank Account Card

£2.25

"what makes you think your account has been hacked?" "'cos there's some money in it?"

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Work Retox Clinic Card

£2.25

"I can't come back to work this week, I've had to book myself in the retox clinic"

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Sign Up Don't Turn Up Card

£2.25

"Do you do a 'Sign Up, Don't Turn Up' Package?"

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Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.25

"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"

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Customer Services Piss Myself Card

£2.25

"this drink I bought off you, made me piss myself"

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Work Team Player Card

£2.25

"hi sorry I'm late, I couldn't be fucked to get here any quicker"

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Health Monitor Card

£2.25

"how you getting on with your health monitor wristband?" "yeah, I've found I'm getting much better results since I stuck it on the dog"

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Work Impressive Reference Card

£2.25

"very impressive reference" "cheers, I wrote that"

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Work Robot Card

£2.25

"I'm worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects" "Don't panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn't want it"

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Segway Bat Card

£2.25

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Taken from the Mindless Violence Colouring Book

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Weekend Dog Cheese Card

£2.25

The opening of the fridge door alerts the dog to the presence of cheese.

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Classic Toss Card Bundle

£7.00

10 classic Modern Toss cards for £7. That's just 70p a card! This bundle includes: Play to Win Card Smoking Aerobics Card Bodywork You/Me Card Last Orders Card Smells Like Money Card C&W Real Ale Card C&W Hug Card Busiest Week Card Successful Idea Card Bored as Arseholes Card   When they're gone, they're gone!

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Work Card Bundle

£6.00

Cards from our best selling collection as a bundle, at more than half price! Here are the Work cards included: Work Bi-Lingual Card Lap Dancing Card Webcam Card Narcissist Boss Card Work Bored Card Pencil Twitter Card 6 Months Off Card When they're gone, they're gone!

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Mr. Tourette Card Bundle

£7.00

All 7 Mr Tourette cards for £7! This is what's included: Shit Butler Card Commuter Mood Card Shithole Business Card Cash Rapists Card Sex Tourists Card Whore Card What Are You? Card When they're gone, they're gone.

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Working Day Lie Down Card

£2.25

Working Day too much? Have a drink and a lie down.

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Working Day Meeting Card

£2.25

Morning catch up meeting, I'll listen in for a bit - once I know what they're talking about I'll try and say something.

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Jetty Zen Kick Card

£2.25

Beautiful surroundings and chilled out zen vibe for this Birthday message.

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Cup Cake Mallet Card

£2.25

Cup cake stalls are not everyone's cup of tea. Fair enough.

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Sale!

Working Day Clear My Mind Card

£2.25 £1.00

As you get nearer to your place of work do you totally clear your mind until there's fuck all in it?

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Working Day Train Twitter Card

£2.25

I follow the train operator on Twitter and am able to directly call them arseholes when my service is disrupted.

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Weekend Too Early Card

£2.25

Is it still slightly too early for a drink?

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Working Day Jacket Card

£2.25

Before lunch I leave my jacket on my chair, so if I decide not to come back people think I'm still around somewhere.

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Weekend TV Controls Card

£2.25

Too fucked to get the TV controls? So you're just going to have to sit through this Sunday night costume drama then! Also works with Poldark.

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Working Day Walk Around Card

£2.25

I look permanently busy if I walk around holding a pen and a bit of paper.

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Weekend National Trust Walk Card

£2.25

I am on a recommended National Trust public walk, I see someone has hung a bag of dog shit from a tree.

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Sale!

Weekend Parents on Landline Card

£2.25 £1.00

One of our parents is trying to call us on the landline. Anyone going to answer?

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Honest Relationship Card

£2.25

"does my stomach look big in this?" "yeah"

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Pro Gamer Card

£2.25

"I went outside earlier in the week, it's like you literally have no control over anything?"

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Last Orders Card

£2.25

"As you can see they've retained a few original features, like Pete who used to drink here when it was a pub" "Where's the crisps?"

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Awkward Cunt Pastries Card

£2.25

"do you want any cakes or pastries with that?" "if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them"

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Work Amazing Figures Card

£2.25

"these end of year figures are amazing" "yeah cheers, I fiddled around with them 'til they were bigger than last year's"

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Pensions Accumulator Card

£2.25

"We don't currently have a pension scheme, but you're welcome to join in the office 7 horse accumulator" "I don't want to rush you but the first race is at 2.45"  

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Bollocks To This Card

£2.25

"it's definitely Peter, I recognise the handwriting"

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High Street Coffee Card

£2.25

''Excuse me, is there anywhere round here I can't get a coffee?"

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Milestone Birthday Card

£2.25

"do you want to do anything for your milestone birthday coming up?" "no I fucking don't"

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Chill Out Yeah Card

£2.25

"how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start"

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New Arrival Card

£2.25

''helloooo" "isn't it beautiful" "where's my fucking presents?"

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Work Biscuits Card

£2.25

"right Steve, come on what are you bringing to the table?" "I brought the biscuits?"

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Bodywork Losing Weight Card

£2.25

"I've lost quite a bit of weight worrying about not going to the gym"

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Awkward Cunt Card

£2.25

"can I help you sir?" "I don't fucking know, you tell me"

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Stick It Up Your Arse Card

£2.25

"in an ideal world I'd tell you to stick this job up your arse"

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Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Card

£2.25

"hello my name's Peter and I'm a fucking arsehole"

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Work Dress Code Card

£2.25

"We don't have a dress code as such, but I would appreciate it if you could tone it down a bit"  

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Village Cake Off Card

£2.25

"leave it Steve, so what if he reckons your sponge base was a bit on the moist side"

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Money Saving Expert Card

£2.25

"I only use it to save a few quid buying my groceries back in the 70's"

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