Milestone Birthday Card

£2.50

"do you want to do anything for your milestone birthday coming up?" "no I fucking don't"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Segway Bat Card

£2.50

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Taken from the Mindless Violence Colouring Book   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.50

"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Birthday Day Off Card

£2.50

"I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday" "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday" An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten...

For a Special Lady Card

£2.50

Because the lady loves... fags and wine in bed.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.   

Ed Sheeran Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Ed Sheeran Card "Alexa, play Ed Sheeran" "do I have to?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.   

Getting Home Early Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Getting Home Early Card "ok what does success look like to everyone?" "getting home early?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Beer In Bed Card

£2.50

"On Your Special Day" Celebrate someone's birthday by bringing them a beer in bed. And this Stroller card. Sorted.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Boring Meeting Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Boring Meeting Card "ok if I look at my phone for a bit, this meeting's boring the fuck out of me"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Chill Out Yeah Card

£2.50

"how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Birthday Present Card

£2.50

"didn't I give this to you for Christmas?" "yeah I didn't like it, happy birthday"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sale!

Play To Win Card

£2.25 £1.00

"You Play To Win" A Stroller card for the discerning sportsman.

Work Robot Card

£2.50

"I'm worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects" "Don't panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn't want it"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Brow Bar Card

£2.50

"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

Sale!

Weekend Parents on Landline Card

£2.25 £1.00

One of our parents is trying to call us on the landline. Anyone going to answer?

Jetty Zen Kick Card

£2.50

Beautiful surroundings and chilled out zen vibe for this Birthday message.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Pantathlon Card

£2.50

Tossary of Terms card range - Pantathlon Card Lifted from The Tossary of Terms book which identifies and defines new words and phrases for a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.    You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below...

Kiplings Smog Card

£2.50

Tossary of Terms card range - Kiplings Smog Card The Tossary of Terms identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.    You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your...

Bloody Fucking Hell Card

£2.50

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Bloody Fucking Hell Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card.    You can send this card direct to your mates or family...

Fucking Old Bastard Card

£2.50

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Fucking Old Bastard Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card.    You can send this card direct to your mates or...

Face Like A Wanker Card

£2.50

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Face Like A Wanker Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card.    You can send this card direct to your mates or family...

Back Sack Twat Card

£2.50

Tossary of Terms card range - Back Sack Twat Card From the Tossary of Terms book which identifies and defines new words and phrases with a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.    You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket...

Smug Goblet Card

£2.50

Tossary of Terms card range - Smug Goblet Card From the Tossary of Terms book which identifies and defines new words and phrases with a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.    You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below...

Buggering Old Twat Card

£2.50

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Buggering Old Twat Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card.    You can send this card direct to your mates or family...

Christmas Game Card

£2.50

''one word...''''bollocks''

Seasonal Bollocks Card

£2.50

Seasonal Bollocks Card Seasonal Bollocks to You

Santa's Grotto Christmas Card

£2.50

"hello, and what would you like for Christmas?""I dunno, you fucking work it out."

Christmas Argument Card

£2.50

Christmas Argument Card "yeah all good here thanks, we've had the meal and we're just getting ready for the argument."

Seagull Cutbacks Card

£2.50

"we thought we'd try something a bit different this year.""is that a seagull?"

Christmas Dinner Card

£2.50

"this is nice all sitting down for Christmas dinner""not if you talk all through this film, which I might add is shit"

Replacement Bus Card

£2.50

"this is the most up to date set, it comes with a replacement bus service"

SAD Mince Pie Card

£2.50

Seasonal Affective Disorder Mince Pie Christmas Card"next door want to know if we'd like to pop over for a mince pie""I've got a fucking mince pie"

Working Day Lie Down Card

£2.50

Working Day too much? Have a drink and a lie down.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Recycled Tree Card

£2.50

Recycled Tree Card "No Christmas tree this year?"  "Steve likes to wait until Boxing Day so we can get one out of the recycling area"

Work Team Player Card

£2.50

"hi sorry I'm late, I couldn't be fucked to get here any quicker"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Christmas Jumper Card

£2.50

"what d'you reckon?""yeah I like it.""It's not too tight around the arms is it?"

Santa Website Card

£2.50

''look at this website showing a satellite image of where santa is currently delivering presents''''obviously fucking bullshit''

Cheese & Wine Decorations Card

£2.50

Cheese & Wine Decorations Christmas Card"All our Christmas cards are totally hand made this year.""I wondered why it all looked so fucking shit."This one is dedicated to Kirsty Allsopp.

SAD Christmas Walk Card

£2.50

"do you want to come out for a Christmas Walk?" "no I fucking don't."  

Santa Skiing Holiday Card

£2.50

"Congratulations you've got the job""Cheers, I need a couple of weeks off in December, I've got a skiing holiday booked"

Family Tree Card

£2.50

"I've been doing the family tree and it turns out none of us are related.""Can we all go home then?"

Goat Present Card

£2.50

"d'you get any good presents?" "yeah, me Aunty Jean got me a goat, but they delivered it to somewhere in Africa... Unbelievable."

Christmas List Card

£2.50

Christmas List Card "would you like me to get you a calendar this year?" "no I'm ok with this system thanks"

Moody Cunt Card

£2.50

"Happy Birthday You Moody Cunt" Send many happy returns of the day to the moody cunt in your life. Enough said.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Ideas Meeting Card

£2.50

"don't think about it, just say it" "Fuck you" Dream meeting scenario.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Christmas Armistice Card

£2.50

"It's from your sister, she wants to know if we'd be up for a Christmas present armistice?""Yeah send her one back, see if she's up for skipping the meal as well"

Christmas Centrepiece Card

£2.50

''everyone ok with me wearing my new Christmas underwear?''

Punctuation Apostrophe Business Card

£2.50

"How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive, turned out he was after a straight plural."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it...

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