Milestone Birthday Card

£2.25

"do you want to do anything for your milestone birthday coming up?" "no I fucking don't"

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Segway Bat Card

£2.25

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Taken from the Mindless Violence Colouring Book

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Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.25

"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"

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Birthday Day Off Card

£2.25

"I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday" "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday" An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves.  

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For a Special Lady Card

£2.25

Because the lady loves... fags and wine in bed.  

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Ed Sheeran Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Ed Sheeran Card "Alexa, play Ed Sheeran" "do I have to?"  

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Getting Home Early Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Getting Home Early Card "ok what does success look like to everyone?" "getting home early?"

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Beer In Bed Card

£2.25

"On Your Special Day" Celebrate someone's birthday by bringing them a beer in bed. And this Stroller card. Sorted.

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Boring Meeting Card

£2.25

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Boring Meeting Card "ok if I look at my phone for a bit, this meeting's boring the fuck out of me"

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Chill Out Yeah Card

£2.25

"how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start"

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Birthday Present Card

£2.25

"didn't I give this to you for Christmas?" "yeah I didn't like it, happy birthday"

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Play To Win Card

£2.25 £1.00

"You Play To Win" A Stroller card for the discerning sportsman.

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Work Robot Card

£2.25

"I'm worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects" "Don't panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn't want it"

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Brow Bar Card

£2.25

"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.

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Weekend Parents on Landline Card

£2.25 £1.00

One of our parents is trying to call us on the landline. Anyone going to answer?

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Jetty Zen Kick Card

£2.25

Beautiful surroundings and chilled out zen vibe for this Birthday message.

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Pantathlon Card

£2.25

Tossary of Terms card range - Pantathlon Card The Tossary of Terms identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. 

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Kiplings Smog Card

£2.25

Tossary of Terms card range - Kiplings Smog Card The Tossary of Terms identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. 

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Bloody Fucking Hell Card

£2.25

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Bloody Fucking Hell Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. Combine that with the bold, punchy swearing element plastered on the front...

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Fucking Old Bastard Card

£2.25

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Fucking Old Bastard Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. Combine that with the bold, punchy swearing element plastered on the...

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Face Like A Wanker Card

£2.25

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Face Like A Wanker Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. Combine that with the bold, punchy swearing element plastered on the front...

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Back Sack Twat Card

£2.25

Tossary of Terms card range - Back Sack Twat Card The Tossary of Terms identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. 

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Smug Goblet Card

£2.25

Tossary of Terms card range - Smug Goblet Card The Tossary of Terms identifies and defines, with new words and phrases, a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed. 

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Buggering Old Twat Card

£2.25

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Buggering Old Twat Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card. Combine that with the bold, punchy swearing element plastered on the front...

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Working Day Lie Down Card

£2.25

Working Day too much? Have a drink and a lie down.

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Work Team Player Card

£2.25

"hi sorry I'm late, I couldn't be fucked to get here any quicker"

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Moody Cunt Card

£2.25

"Happy Birthday You Moody Cunt" Send many happy returns of the day to the moody cunt in your life. Enough said.

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Ideas Meeting Card

£2.25

"don't think about it, just say it" "Fuck you" Dream meeting scenario.

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Punctuation Apostrophe Business Card

£2.25

"How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive, turned out he was after a straight plural."

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Special Day Dustbin Card

£2.25

It's your special day. Sit around, have a little walkabout, drink some beer and honk your guts up into a dustbin. Classic.  

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Do What You Want Card

£2.25

"It's Your Special Day - Do What You Fucking Want With it Yeah" A Stroller greetings card that captures the true spirit of celebration days: watching TV and doing fuck-all.

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Hacked Bank Account Card

£2.25

"what makes you think your account has been hacked?" "'cos there's some money in it?"

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Health Monitor Card

£3.25

"how you getting on with your health monitor wristband?" "yeah, I've found I'm getting much better results since I stuck it on the dog"

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Sale!

Working Day Clear My Mind Card

£2.25 £1.00

As you get nearer to your place of work do you totally clear your mind until there's fuck all in it?

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Early Retirement Card

£2.25

"I'm thinking of taking early retirement" "how early?" "about 2.30"    

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What Are You? Card

£2.25 £1.00

"What are you, some sort of cunt?" (T'es qui toi, une sorte de con?)

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Borrow 20 Quid Card

£2.25

"Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?" "How about I just keep the 20 quid?" "That works for me, happy birthday yeah!"

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Stroller Postcard Set

£9.99

Stroller Postcard Set Ever thought about sending your boss a postcard featuring him being serviced from behind by a cart horse? Well you can now, thanks to this surreal and highly collectable Stroller postcard set. Stick ‘em on your wall or reach out and touch a friend with this selection of beautifully-crafted designs celebrating some totally unique and magic moments....

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Motoring Speeding Card

£2.25

"I'm arresting you for speeding." "sorry mate me eyesight's fucked, I thought that sign said 'drive like a cunt"

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Work Amazing Figures Card

£2.25

"these end of year figures are amazing" "yeah cheers, I fiddled around with them 'til they were bigger than last year's"

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Cup Cake Mallet Card

£2.25

Cup cake stalls are not everyone's cup of tea. Fair enough.

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Weekend National Trust Walk Card

£2.25

I am on a recommended National Trust public walk, I see someone has hung a bag of dog shit from a tree.

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Appraisal Cunts Upstairs Card

£2.25

"we would like to point out to you that it's highly unprofessional to refer to us as 'the cunts upstairs' when sending out emails to our client database" "Fair enough, rules are rules"

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Awkward Cunt Pastries Card

£2.25

"do you want any cakes or pastries with that?" "if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them"

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Wine Box Card

£2.25

"when the kids moved out we turned the spare bedroom into a wine box, do you fancy a glass?"

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New Arrival Card

£2.25

''helloooo" "isn't it beautiful" "where's my fucking presents?"

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Bullshitters Refreshers Card

£2.25

"I see you took yesterday off for a 'bullshitter's refresher course" "yeah here's my expenses"

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Data Analyst Card

£2.25

"this spreadsheet of yours doesn't appear to make any sense" "yeah it's bollocks innit"  

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