Monday Morning Wine Card

£2.50

"excuse me, what wine would you recommend for a monday morning?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Segway Bat Card

£2.50

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Taken from the Mindless Violence Colouring Book   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Chill Out Yeah Card

£2.50

"how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Snapchat Cock Pic Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards...  Snapchat Cock Pic Card "It's amazing how we're all so connected now" "Yeah I've just accidentally snapchatted a cock pic to my mum" "Only a few years ago that would have been impossible"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here....

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Romantic Walk Card

£2.50

Romantic Walk Card "fucking slow down yeah?" "I want to get back for Bargain Hunt"   You can send this card direct to your loved one with a printed handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Sale!

Play To Win Card

£2.50 £1.25

"You Play To Win" A Stroller card for the discerning sportsman.

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Brow Bar Card

£2.50

"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

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Cup Cake Mallet Card

£2.50

Cup cake stalls are not everyone's cup of tea. Fair enough.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Bird Feeder Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards...  Bird Feeder Card "I started putting food out for them, now I can't keep up with their demands"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Couch to 5k Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards...  "yeah, I'm thinking of doing the couch to 5k programme? Can I take a look at your couches?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Jetty Zen Kick Card

£2.50

Beautiful surroundings and chilled out zen vibe for this Birthday message.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Motoring Speeding Card

£2.50

"I'm arresting you for speeding." "sorry mate me eyesight's fucked, I thought that sign said 'drive like a cunt"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Weekend National Trust Walk Card

£2.50

I am on a recommended National Trust public walk, I see someone has hung a bag of dog shit from a tree.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Health Monitor Card

£2.50

"how you getting on with your health monitor wristband?" "yeah, I've found I'm getting much better results since I stuck it on the dog"

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Dogs Pet Shop Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Dogs Pet Shop Card "and this is our most domesticated breed" "before I go anywhere, ask them how fast their broadband speed is at home"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Awkward Cunt Pastries Card

£2.50

"do you want any cakes or pastries with that?" "if I wanted them I probably would have fucking asked for them"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Garden Centre Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards...  Garden Centre Card "I wanna start growing my own food, you got any pizza seeds?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Bollocks To This Card

£2.50

"it's definitely Peter, I recognise the handwriting"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Awkward Cunt Card

£2.50

"can I help you sir?" "I don't fucking know, you tell me"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Pro Gamer Card

£2.50

"I went outside earlier in the week, it's like you literally have no control over anything?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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Fucking Arseholes Anonymous Card

£2.50

"hello my name's Peter and I'm a fucking arsehole"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Village Cake Off Card

£2.50

"leave it Steve, so what if he reckons your sponge base was a bit on the moist side"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Fucking Typical Card

£2.50

"I want a bank loan" "I'm going to have to take a few details down" "tell you what mate fucking swivel on it, no wonder the country's fucked"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

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Wedding Facebook Status Card

£2.50

"Do you take this man" "Hang on mate, I'm just updating me relationship status" That moment when modern technology makes you want to give up and live in a cave.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

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