Milestone Birthday Card

£2.50

"do you want to do anything for your milestone birthday coming up?" "no I fucking don't"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Ed Sheeran Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Ed Sheeran Card "Alexa, play Ed Sheeran" "do I have to?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.   

Moody Cunt Card

£2.50

"Happy Birthday You Moody Cunt" Send many happy returns of the day to the moody cunt in your life. Enough said.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Punctuation Apostrophe Business Card

£2.50

"How's the old apostrophe business?" "Yeah bit quiet. Had a false call out for a carrot sign last night. Greengrocer thought he needed a possessive, turned out he was after a straight plural."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it...

Work Robot Card

£2.50

"I'm worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects" "Don't panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn't want it"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Health Monitor Card

£2.50

"how you getting on with your health monitor wristband?" "yeah, I've found I'm getting much better results since I stuck it on the dog"

Bubble Life Streaming Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Bubble Life Streaming' "Do you wanna join me live streaming myself watching someone live streaming themselves playing a guitar?" "Yeah in a bit, I'm just tiktokking myself eating biscuit"  Desperate Business cartoon first showed in Private Eye You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via...

Data Analyst Card

£2.50

"this spreadsheet of yours doesn't appear to make any sense" "yeah it's bollocks innit"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Dogs Pet Shop Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Dogs Pet Shop Card "and this is our most domesticated breed" "before I go anywhere, ask them how fast their broadband speed is at home"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Punctuation What Do You Do Card

£2.50

"And what do you do?" "Traditionally, I indicate an elaboration of something that were just before me, but since texting came along I've been doing a lot of work with the old end bracket here" "Yeah we've been run off our feet lately, people can't leave us alone"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family...

Punctuation Can't be Fucked Card

£2.50

"People used to use me to partially obscure swearwords, but it seems like they can't be fucked anymore" "luck of the draw mate, I was long term unemployed until some bloke invented email"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it...

Before and After Internet Card

£2.50

Just look how far we've come.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Wedding Facebook Status Card

£2.50

"Do you take this man" "Hang on mate, I'm just updating me relationship status" That moment when modern technology makes you want to give up and live in a cave.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Cheese & Wine Not Interested Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Cheese & Wine Not Interested Card "Have you heard about Peter's new car?" "No have you read my sign?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Social Pisstancing Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest lockdown edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Social Pisstancing' "yard of ale and a two metre flute of cider please mate"  Desperate Business cartoon from Private Eye. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Punctuation Paris Hat Card

£2.50

"I love your hat" "thanks, I picked it up in Paris"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Chillaxative Card

£2.50

Tossary of Terms card range - Chillaxative Card From the Tossary of Terms book which identifies and defines new words and phrases with a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.    You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and...

Real Ale Card

£2.50

"have you tried this real ale from Stephen's micro brewery?" "smells like someone scooped it out of a ditch"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Hacked Bank Account Card

£2.50

"what makes you think your account has been hacked?" "'cos there's some money in it?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

One Bar Signal Card

£2.50

"Congratulations you've got the job!" "I dunno if I can work here, I'm only getting one bar on me phone" Priorities, innit?   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Minding My Business Card

£2.50

"What are you up to at the moment?" "Minding my own fucking business"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Anti-Social Networking Card

£2.50

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Anti-Social Networking Card "I see you've sent me another friend request"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Water Cooler Bat Card

£2.50

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Water Cooler Bat Card "what did you do at the weekend?" "I smashed my house up with a bat"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sale!

Pencil Twitter Card

£2.50 £1.25

"have you got a pencil I can borrow?" "that's brilliant mate, do you mind if I twitter that?" Know someone who can't get their nose out of Twitter? Signal an intervention with this subtle card.

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