Sale!

Book is Shit Card

£2.95 £1.50

"This book I bought off you is fucking shit" The Modern Toss customer services department is highly trained to deal with complaints of this nature.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Boring Meeting Card

£2.95

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Boring Meeting Card "ok if I look at my phone for a bit, this meeting's boring the fuck out of me"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Borrow 20 Quid Card

£2.95

"Dad can I borrow 20 quid to get you a birthday present?" "How about I just keep the 20 quid?" "That works for me, happy birthday yeah!"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Brow Bar Card

£2.95

"I've got a big meeting coming up, can you make me look like I'm really interested" If you pay extra you can get them tattooed on so that you permanently look like you're questioning your choices in life.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

Bubble Life Podcast Card

£2.95

Introducing the latest lockdown edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Bubble Life Podcast' "I'm thinking about doing a podcast about not going on holiday" "I'm thinking about doing a podcast about not listening to your podcast about not going on holiday" "Sounds good, maybe I'll just listen to that instead"   You can send this card direct to your mates or...

Bubble Life Streaming Card

£2.95

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Bubble Life Streaming' "Do you wanna join me live streaming myself watching someone live streaming themselves playing a guitar?" "Yeah in a bit, I'm just tiktokking myself eating biscuit"  Desperate Business cartoon first showed in Private Eye You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via...

Buggering Old Twat Card

£2.95

Periodic Table of Swearing Card range - Buggering Old Twat Card The 21st century design classic, Periodic Table of Swearing, has now expanded into a range of seriously sweary greetings cards. Ideal for wishing someone Happy Birthday, Good Luck or any other reason why you'd buy someone a fucking card.    You can send this card direct to your mates or family...

Sale!

Bullshitters Refreshers Card

£2.95 £1.50

"I see you took yesterday off for a 'bullshitter's refresher course" "yeah here's my expenses"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Bum Look Big Enough Card

£2.95

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Bum Look Big Enough Card "Does my bum look big enough in this?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Sale!

Busiest Week Card

£2.95 £1.50

"I see you've applied for time off during our busiest week." "yeah, hopefully you'll have everything done by the time I get back." A productivity-boosting work-themed greetings card for the lazy tosser in your life.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and...

Sale!

Buy More Shit Card

£2.95 £1.50

Buy More Shit or We're all Fucked First created following the 2008 banking crash, we didn't expect our Buy More Shit or We're All Fucked stuff to still be relevant but here we are.... Spread the word with this greeting card. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

CCTV Admirer Card

£2.95

CCTV Admirer Card Now in HD.   You can send this card direct to your loved one with a printed handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.    

Sale!

Cheese & Wine Hug Card

£2.95 £1.50

"bloody hell Gerry he was only trying to give you a hug." "I thought he was coming at me so I decked him."   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Chill Out Yeah Card

£2.95

"how much is your meditation course?" "80 quid" "well that's fucking wound me right up for a start"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Chillaxative Card

£2.95

Tossary of Terms card range - Chillaxative Card From the Tossary of Terms book which identifies and defines new words and phrases with a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.    You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and...

Chocolates Valentine

£2.95

Chocolates Valentine's Day Card ''I never thought Steve'd be the first to go, not with him being a lime barrel'' ''hang on lads panic over, she's just spat him into the bin''   You can send this card direct to your loved one with a printed handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Cock Bonnet Card

£2.95

Tossary of Terms card range - Cock Bonnet Card From the Tossary of Terms which identifies and defines new words and phrases, with a random pisspot of contemporary social phenomena which has so far gone unnamed.    You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and...

Cock in a Box Valentine

£2.95

Cock in a Box Valentine's Day Card Do not open with scissors.   You can send this card direct to your loved one with a printed handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Columbo Card

£2.95

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards...  Columbo Card "Guys, just realised I'm going to have to wrap this meeting up, I've got a 3.15 with Columbo" Desperate Business cartoon from Private Eye. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write...

Community Spirit Card

£2.95

Introducing the latest lockdown edition of Modern Toss cards... 'Community Spirit' Card "alright mate, do you wanna buy my supermarket delivery slot?"  Desperate Business cartoon from Private Eye. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a printed message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Couch to 5k Card

£2.95

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards...  "yeah, I'm thinking of doing the couch to 5k programme? Can I take a look at your couches?"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Cup Cake Mallet Card

£2.95

Cup cake stalls are not everyone's cup of tea. Fair enough.   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self. 

Cup of Tea Card

£2.95

Introducing the latest edition of Modern Toss cards... Cup of Tea Card "Anyone want a cup of tea?" "Not if you're fucking making it"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.

Customer Feedback Card

£2.95

"great to get all this feedback off our new customer forum" "yeah I had no idea we were such a shit company"   You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it your fucking self.   

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